


Damages II: Resentment (Rosalie)

by mirqueen



Series: Damages [2]
Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Drama, F/M, Family, Gen, Spiritual
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-25
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-01-10 01:10:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 50,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1153002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirqueen/pseuds/mirqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In repairing the damages done to the Cullen family after New Moon, Bella reveals the depths of her complex personality and generous heart. (Canon Pairings) ~Companion Piece: Intangible Sentiment</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ridiculous

Disclaimer: I do not own nor make profit off of _Twilight_. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer and Summit Entertainment, etc.

A/N:I don’t see this as changing Stephenie Meyer’s canon storyline really, so I wouldn’t call it AU, per se. The events might conflict with a fewminorplot details from SM’s universe. Characters may be a touch OOC at times.

This is the sequel to _Damages I: Carlisle_. To understand this story, please read that first.

> **Chapter 1: Ridiculous**

For a seemingly average, everyday human being, I certainly had my fair share of odd situations that I'd been forced to face.

Enough to display a rather alarming tendency towards fatality and impending doom, at least. After a four-day period teeming with emotional roller coasters, domestic near-misses, and inter-species squabbling, it seemed life was trying to prove that point to me very forcefully.

Yet, when I headed out the door with Alice after having a very slow, sleepy, and uninteresting Wednesday morning, commonplace seemed the word of the day. Well, aside from the fact I walked beside a girl who could see the future and was one of a family of seven 'vegetarian' vampires, that is. In the back of my mind, I acknowledged the good luck I'd been graced with. How many slow and uninteresting mornings did I have on a daily basis, after all?

Oh, but how rapidly my luck could change.

When we tried to get the windows of my Chevy down, they got stuck somewhere at half-mast and Alice gave up trying to pull them back without shattering them. Sensing that I would have to break them to even get them out, and then obviously I would have to get them replaced, I warned Alice not to buy them for me. I still had money left in my tiny 'college fund' and I wasn't about to accept any more gifts from her. Maybe she listened, maybe she didn't, but the threat was there at least.

Upon arriving at the high school, we found that almost everyone arrived early for some ungodly reason. That left fewer parking spaces and frustratingly rude drivers in their little cars who kept cutting me off to get better places. Luckily I was not one to get very angry in return and wouldn't ram into them (not intentionally), but I couldn't fathom why they were willing to cut in front of a monster truck with a solid, come-and-get-me-if-you-dare frame. Edward might have done that if he was of a mind to, but it would be in a teasing way that would probably make me laugh in the end. And I knew he would never do that without ensuring that an adjoining space was free.

To make the morning worse, Alice and I became stuck behind Tyler Crowley, who was trying unsuccessfully to park his vehicle in a spot partially taken up by another car; one over the line enough to cause a parking problem. It was one of the last spots available, aside from three free spaces that were then behind us, and another spot further ahead (that was the one I currently aimed for). Tyler certainly wasn't vying for the last place; it was the spot beside the silver Volvo, Edward and Jasper leaning up against it holding a conversation.

The honey-blond vampire mentioned something his bronze-haired brother would have heard in his mind a second before he said it. Edward said something with a look of interest, tilting his head so minutely towards Ben and Angela, who walked past a moment later, that no one would have seen it. Ben stopped tentatively to offer a word or two, to which Edward seemed to smile almost imperceptibly (or at least to Ben's thoughts). Angela looked very encouraging, though quite hesitant herself. Then she glanced towards where Alice and I still sat, growing more impatient as Tyler persisted in conquering the trouble-spot he'd found, and waved at us. She eyed the Sentra with a raised brow, before turning back to Ben, Edward, and Jasper.

Ben actually made more than a brief remark or two with the two brothers, as his renewed energy proved. The three of them seemed to be any normal group of teenage boys, discussing the latest homework they'd been assigned. Even Jasper seemed more talkative than usual with whatever Ben was saying, which of course made me wonder just how much help the southern vampire gave the human boy in the courage department.

"Does Tyler think his stupidity is attractive or was he just born slow?" Alice suddenly asked through a scowl, rhythmically tapping her nails on the seat between us at a loud, inhuman pace. Until I saw through my own eyes she was moving her fingers, I almost thought the sound was from a malfunctioning mixer… or more alarmingly, maybe my truck finally breaking down. It would be just my luck.

At any rate, seeing as I would bet on a mixture of both Tyler theories, it didn't seem likely my answer would satisfy Alice, but I decided to answer for lack of better conversation. The night before, we talked quite a while about our plans for the coming days and pretty much exhausted our disappointingly small list of ideas. Even during the few hours I slept, Alice hadn't thought of anything new. Today, we didn't have any better luck. Theories about Tyler Crowley's lack of mental aptitude were, sadly, about the limit of our talking points right about then.

"Maybe both have some merit," I said absently. With a sigh of irritation, I spied Lauren arriving on the scene and leaning against the hood of the car in front of the spot Tyler aimed for. She encouraged his idiocy with alternating usage of giggles, coy smiles, waving in false shyness, and a come-hither look that was practically indecent for everyday use. I knew she liked him, but _really_? Was it necessary to stoop this low for the attention of a guy who clearly couldn't even park for himself? And it was really working beautifully, I admitted to myself with some disgust. Tyler looked so gratified at her attention he even stopped trying to realign his car to fit the parking space. He simply stopped, less than halfway into the spot and completely blocking my passage, so Lauren could move to his window and talk to him with the same sickly false gestures.

"Although," I commented abruptly through gritted teeth, "theory number one seems the more likely of the two."

At least half the students in the parking lot now stared, pointed, and snickered. A rare few outright mocked the exchange, though Tyler and Lauren could not see that from where they were. By this point I turned almost burgundy from embarrassment and Alice ground her teeth quite audibly. A guy sitting in his still-running green Oldsmobile looked up startled and worried at the latter; he seemed to think his car caused the gritty metallic scraping noise.

I was fairly itching to knock some sense of reality into Tyler's thick skull. I settled for tapping my left foot impatiently against the floor of the truck rather than egging on my violent side.

"They're going to make us late if they continue these ridiculous shenanigans," my best friend remarked darkly and more assuredly than I was happy with. Checking the clock questioningly, I felt dismay wash over me; we only had about twenty minutes before first period. Tyler and Lauren didn't seem to care and at this rate, Alice was going to end up right; we would definitely not be on time for class. As if in answer to this thought, my tiny psychic friend leveled a glare at Tyler through his back window. If he'd been looking, I doubted he would have continued his parking excursion; his life was probably much more valuable to him. I didn't feel much kinder than Alice now, considering our potential tardiness. And whatever the outcome of that tardiness was, Edward's visionary sister didn't look at all pleased about it. The idea of giving Tyler a good, solid thwack on the back of his head felt much more viable now. In fact, I unthinkingly began to plan it out in my mind. I could just stroll by in the cafeteria or the hallway and… whack! It would be easy and I highly doubted anyone would believe such a stunt from _me_ , of all people. Besides, no one else looked all that pleased by the scene either, especially the two cars behind us; they weren't likely to tell if they saw me do it.

A shock of laughter, both a muted one from Edward several spaces down the lot and one from Alice, made me jump and turn to stare in bewilderment.

"What?" I asked dumbly. Down the way a bit, I noticed Ben and Angela looking a little strangely at Edward, as well.

"You…" Alice was shaking from her laughing fit, "Tyler… In the cafeteria."

My cheeks headed straight back to burgundy without pausing to even consider pink first. Somehow, I forgot about Alice seeing my plan.

"Hey, wait!" I responded in an anxious whisper. It just struck me that Edward saw that vision, too. "You're not blocking Edward."

The pixielike vampire abruptly stopped laughing. "Yes, I am," she whispered urgently back. "I just allowed him to see that particular one. It's not easy, but it's not impossible to do."

"Why that one, though?"

"He was getting a little lost in his thoughts, a little too dark," she confessed tightly. "I thought it would brighten his outlook."

"Oh," I breathed a sigh of relief.

Not a second later, Alice just couldn't bottle up her sarcasm. "Maybe you _should_ have totaled Tyler's Sentra last year."

"Maybe I will _this_ year." I agreed with an annoyed sigh and an equally vivid, if less effective, glare at Tyler.

"You won't," Alice rolled her eyes at me, but the gesture was strangely affectionate. "You'll feel guilty the moment you start planning it. I know you."

"Maybe," I stubbornly refuted her assumption, "but I can imagine it, can't I? And I did plan to hit him today, didn't I?"

"Oh, fine," she rolled her eyes a second time.

Edward said something quiet to Angela and Ben suddenly, and then with a parting pat on Jasper's shoulder, headed over to us. I shared a vague grin with my spiky-haired best friend when Ben enthusiastically picked right back up with whatever he was saying to Jasper.

Edward did not come directly to my old Chevy, as I had assumed he would. Instead, with a sly wink in my direction, he walked casually up to the Sentra with a friendly smile and a low wave for our two schoolmates. Lauren looked like Christmas had come early and Tyler was near enough to glaring that I could have laughed. Alice already started giggling at whatever her brother had planned, so I settled in for a little show.

"Hello, Lauren, Tyler," I heard Edward say in that alluring velvet voice of his. "Lovely morning, don't you think? I've heard there's even going to be a sliver of sunshine this afternoon. Too bad we won't be spending any time in it."

As I had expected, he oozed out charm from head to toe, even when he talked about the mundane and predictable weather of Forks. Tyler looked a little less resentful of the intrusion now that Edward pulled out all the stops on his vampire charm. I was amused and annoyed in equal measure when I noted he exhaled rather near to Lauren, close enough to keep her partially dazed from the scent of his breath.

"Y-yes, too bad we… won't be… spending time." Lauren's face was stark, a bit slack, but there was an edge of meaning in her gaze and she licked her lips almost like a hungry cat. My eyes narrowed to slits. I prayed I was imagining the subtle phrasing in her words. No way did she get to insinuate spending 'quality time' with my Edward.

Tyler didn't miss the insinuation, either, if his face was anything to go by. A wicked scowl took up residence on his features. "Yeah, sunshine, great. Listen, I gotta go find a spot to park. We only got ten minutes before class starts. See ya, Lauren. Cullen."

Edward nodded once at the hostile farewell, but clearly wasn't disturbed by it. In fact, he looked like he enjoyed himself immensely.

"Oh, yeah," the blonde replied dazedly without any real concern for Tyler. Without a seemingly conscious plan, Lauren moved to mindlessly follow a few paces away from the Sentra and after my boyfriend, who now backpedaled to my truck.

Poker face in position, Edward turned and went around to the passenger side, where Alice had already scooted over into the middle to make room for him. Her face was pinched in an effort to reign in laughter. As Tyler backed the Sentra out of his almost-conquest, Lauren remained staring wantonly and unashamedly, making cow eyes at _my_ vampire. Every ounce of blood in my body boiled with possessive fury. My first thought was admittedly violent and irrational. Let's just say I had the urge to leave a red mark across Lauren's powdered-up face. It was really a very powerful feeling, the possessiveness and jealousy flowing through me. I'd never felt quite so keyed up over it before. But then Lauren had never acted so brazenly before, either.

Edward barely checked his grin as Alice rapidly shoved her foot under mine about three inches from the pedal, presumably to keep me from hitting the accelerator for a little nudge at the Sentra. Surely Lauren was near enough to be startled, but not get injured… That had been my plan through the red haze I was looking out of, at least.

Standing outside my rusty Chevy two minutes later, I was able to think more clearly. Lauren's absence may have had a very big hand in that, as well as Jasper's special assistance (littered with snickering though it was), but I didn't care. I was just glad she'd headed inside – er – _away_ from Edward, whose attention was solely on me now. It wasn't a vanity thing; I didn't care if his attention strayed to other people… just that some people didn't deserve his attention in the first place.

"Edward," I said quietly, with enforced calm, to his glittering amusement. "If you don't kiss me in about thirty seconds, I won't be held responsible for my actions."

Laughing richly, my bronze-haired angel pulled me into his arms and attached his icy lips to my heated ones. My hands fluttered up against his messy hair, holding him tightly to myself, and then I was floating in bliss – in absolutely divine bliss – and forgot all about whatever had made me jealous and possessive in the first place. Such was the risk of being kissed by your own personal Greek god.

He pulled away too soon – always too soon – and left me gasping for air against his granite chest.

"Well, that was interesting," he spoke, grinning against my hair, and I let out an airy laugh as the situation finally made its good humor known to me.

"Yeah, interesting," I agreed breathlessly.

"Bella, can you forgive me?" Edward spoke abruptly within a second of my remark, confusing me.

"What for this time?" was my curious reply.

"I don't think I can be there tonight," he sighed sadly, but determinedly. "I just… I still need to wrap my head around some things first…"

"It's okay," I interrupted him with a finger to his granite lips. "I understand, I really do. This is very important and I want you to take as much time as you need. Will you go out with Jasper and Emmett again?"

"That's what we were thinking," he admitted with a compliant nod. "It seems to clear my head when we've had a good spar session."

"Then you should definitely go," I confirmed decisively.

"All right," he complied, wearing a more cheerful smile. "We'll be leaving at midnight tonight. I'll see you tomorrow morning, of course… I do wish I was staying with you, though."

"We'll survive," I told him with nonchalance, in spite of my mild apprehension.

To that he just kissed my forehead apologetically.

"So was Alice right about Tyler's ego," I couldn't help asking quietly, hoping to distract him, "or was he just born stupid?"

Edward's grin lit up the parking lot as he replied, "I believe his mother may have dropped him a few times, but I have no conclusive evidence of that."

We snorted with laughter, the addition of two others reminding me that Alice and Jasper were still present.

"We have four minutes and six seconds to get to class," Alice replied calmly. "Jasper will be a little late, but it won't be a problem."

"Thanks a lot," the vampire in question grinned lazily at his wife, winking mischievously. "I know how I rank now."

"Oh, you know you're tops, Jazz," she giggled in return, dragging him gracefully along towards their class while Edward and I took up behind them.

The hours went by much smoother than the previous day had, Edward even holding my hand throughout lessons. He was mostly at ease, but there were moments when he would look off into space with a frown of concentration and I could tell his mind was still on what we'd argued about and the conflicting emotions he felt towards Carlisle's behavior. Working out the trouble spots took up a majority of Edward's focus, leaving little talking between us. It was comfortable, though (in a weird way), because after all we'd thrown at each other the previous morning we were able to move to a reasonable comfort zone within a day or less. Knowing we could forgive each other in such a way was a point of pride for me.

Lunchtime found us still holding hands when we walked in the food line, and then again when waiting awkwardly with Jasper for Alice to join us at the table. He hadn't seen his mate exiting her classroom nor on his way to lunch and was a tad bothered by that fact. She didn't normally come late, so I was a little worried, but not overtly so. Besides, almost immediately a feeling of ease and reassurance flooded me, so I didn't have time to feel any worry at all after that. Jasper was clearly working hard to control any anxiety, even while he became seemingly engrossed in what I realized was a thick, hardback book on the Civil War.

"Sorry, Jasper," I muttered, guilt creeping in that I caused him even a little bit more worry than he already felt. It had only been a few minutes since the lunch bell rang anyway. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Edward roll his eyes discreetly.

"Bella, stop feeling guilty," he murmured from the side of his mouth, "Jasper isn't upset with you for being worried. He's used to reorganizing our emotions. It's just something he does."

"Doesn't mean I can't try to make it easier on him," I frowned at Edward. He should know me better than that by now. "Like I try to do for you."

That stumped him enough that he didn't respond. Jasper, on the other hand, nearly smirked at the rejoinder and sent me a little nudge of gratitude.

"No problem," I muttered with a wry smile. Edward actually cracked a smile.

The good humor fled after another ten minutes passed by with no Alice. Jasper worked harder now to undermine the nerves, but he wasn't especially successful since he felt most of the worry himself. I wasn't worried so much as anxious; that struck me as being very insensitive, but I couldn't help it. I felt as though I was missing something about the whole situation; suspicion took precedence.

"You can't find her?" Jasper barely mumbled to Edward, who looked furiously consternated by his inability to find his sister's mind. That was the first tactic they tried whenever they were faced with this kind of situation, as Edward had explained a moment previous. Edward would search out their thoughts first, and then if that failed they would call. If that failed, then they went out to search the old-fashioned way.

"She's not in the school," Edward almost growled in frustration, scaring students nearby into thinking there was some kind of small animal beneath their table. "But Alice isn't capable of emptying her mind completely. She has to be thinking _something_ , even if she's blocking me. I don't understand."

That only made me more suspicious, yet it did make me realize something very important.

"Well, that's it then," I breathed to both of them, bringing them to look at me. "Alice might not be in Forks at all. I mean, you'd hear her mind up to seven miles away, right? If you were focusing on her?"

"Unfortunately, Bella has a point," Jasper admitted, frowning deeply at this announcement. "Well, I'll call her. See if she picks up."

He left his tray and book on the table as he slipped out the back doors to call Alice.

"But where on earth would Alice go?" I asked my bronze-haired boyfriend curiously.

"I don't know," Edward sighed.

Jasper came back two minutes after he'd left, looking disappointed.

"No answer," he said unnecessarily; it was obvious from his face he had been unable to make contact.

"Maybe we should go look for her," was Edward's next remark, to which Jasper seemed keen to agree.

"And miss classes?" I practically hissed at him. "Alice said that would be really bad."

"Yes, she did see it turning badly," Edward confessed reluctantly, Jasper barely nodding his agreement. Clearly the two of them were raring to go after their wife and sister. I almost wished they would. Yet I didn't think something was exactly _wrong_ about this, at least not in the typical sense of the word. I had a distinct feeling Alice knew full well where she was going and had not meant for anyone to come with her.

"Guys," I started hesitantly, not wanting to sound callous, "I don't think we should be worried. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel completely comfortable with the fact that she's gone suddenly… but for some reason I think Alice knows exactly what she's doing."

"You do, don't you?" Jasper questioned rhetorically, eyeing me speculatively for a moment and feeling out my emotions. After another minute, he looked satisfied and leaned back in his chair thoughtfully. "Bella might be right. Alice is known for these sorts of things, after all."

"That's true," nodded Edward. "I suppose we should just continue with our day, then?"

"I suppose so," Jasper sighed with great reluctance. "But maybe…"

"Yes," Edward nodded sulkily. "I suppose I'll have to call Carlisle. Just in case."

The look on Edward's face at the mention of his father made me especially indignant and hotheaded. Had he learned nothing from what I'd told him? Ugh!

Jasper gave me an apprehensive glance, as did Edward once he realized my narrowed eyes and huffy gaze were directed at him. Did he really have to kill my buzz today? I'd been so pleased at our progress emotionally, but did that come (once again) at the price of Carlisle's emotional stability? If it did, something was going to change rather quickly and Edward had better watch his words today.

" _I'll_ call Carlisle," I enunciated perfectly and coolly. " _Just in case_."

Standing from the table and ignoring Edward's knowing expression, I headed outside, throwing my tray out on the way, and stepped into the subdued, early afternoon light to make the call.

"Bella," Carlisle's gentle, yet businesslike tone clued me into the fact he must be busy.

"Um – sorry to interrupt," I told him guiltily, "but Alice didn't show up at lunch and Jasper wanted to let you know about it."

"I see," Carlisle sighed, sounding a bit amused for some odd reason. "The three of you are staying there, then?"

"Yeah, Alice had a vision earlier," I answered in slight confusion, "It would have had a bad outcome if we missed or anything."

"Well, I'll stay alert," he assured me, still sounding in good humor.

"You know something," the accusation left me thoughtlessly, but I just had a feeling, "don't you?"

"Perhaps," I could hear the grin in his smooth voice. "I assure you Alice is not in any trouble. Will that be a suitable explanation?"

"It'll have to be," I groused, "since I doubt you'll give into my whining about it."

"Too true," he chuckled. "You'll have to excuse me, Bella. Thank you for calling me, anyway. I like to be forewarned of things."

"Sure," I grumbled, further chuckling from Carlisle the last sound I heard before he disconnected.

Edward and Jasper were still sitting at the table when I returned, and though I still felt upset about the attitude of the former, it was gratifying for him to stack my stuff together.

"He said he'll stay alert," was all I told them. Clearly Alice wanted to keep her secret from all except Carlisle. I could at least keep it that way for now.

"Thank you, Bella," Jasper nodded his appreciation my way.

"Not a problem," I shrugged with a bit of a blush to my cheeks.

The bell ringing saved me from talking overmuch with Edward about his attitude and my reaction to it, but it seemed he was willing to let his sulky persona go as far as I could see. The day wasn't really awkward after that save the slight twinge of annoyance I still felt, and when we walked out of the doors to the parking lot Alice was leaning against the truck with Jasper, waiting for us. Taking into consideration the calm, cool expression on his face, her husband had already seen her before this moment.

Edward narrowed his eyes fractionally when he saw her, but the rest of his features remained smooth. Absently, I acknowledged this gesture was not because of her absence, but because of her mental blocking. At the sight of us, Jasper embraced his wife and murmured low in her ear. I could guess what worries he was voicing. Alice kissed his face several times in comfort and he left a last lingering one on her mouth before walking over to the Volvo.

"You've been away," Edward spoke first, a little accusingly, as we came alongside the truck, and Alice rolled her eyes at his petulant tone.

"It was for a good cause," his sister replied with a condescending sniff. I had to bite back the upturn of my lips.

"Hmph," was Edward's eloquent response, to which I couldn't hold back an amused smile. Even when he was acting so childishly, he looked like a young God.

"Oh, come on, Edward," Alice whined. "It was only for a little while. You'll see how good a cause it was later on."

Sighing in resignation, my bronze-haired boyfriend turned to kiss me goodbye with a chaste little peck and got to the Volvo before I could do much about it. Harrumphing at his abruptness, I ripped open the driver's side door as Alice went around the other side.

"Rude," I mumbled irritably to no one in particular, though the roar of the engine might have drowned me out completely to anybody all the same. Of course Alice still heard me and laughed like wind chimes, but that was to be expected.

"Don't let him get to you, Bella." Her attempt to bolster my good side fell a little short.

"It's a little late for that."

"Oh, you finally figured that out?" Alice smirked knowingly.

A good glare out the windshield didn't exactly help me feel better, but I doubted much could unless Edward fixed his attitude. He was just so stubborn about keeping the nitty-gritty details from me that he was alienating his own father. It was driving me crazy in the literal sense of the word because I knew of nothing to help change it. Maybe time, but Edward Cullen was not truly known for his patience. How he and Carlisle lived in the same house on their own for three years was beyond me sometimes. For in patience, they were definitely opposites.

Driving down my street with a slightly less positive feeling than that morning, I was startled out of my wits to find Rosalie's red M3 convertible parked in the street across from Charlie's house and the blonde vampire in question sitting at the wheel with a magazine open in her hands.

"Um… Alice?" My voice trembled with nervousness and trepidation which nothing could disguise. Rosalie Hale was a touchy subject at best, one I was altogether certain would never improve beyond what it was at the moment. Standoffish would be an understatement in that area of my life. The past few weeks she had not been hard on me, but once the situation of her phone call wore off I was exceedingly wary of how her personality would snap back.

"It's all right, Bella," my best friend smiled soothingly at me, patting my hand in reassurance. "I asked her here and she's in a decent mood. Don't worry."

Meekly I replied, "Okay." And if my hands shook like nobody's business while I pulled in the drive, I really couldn't help it.

"Hi Rose." With a dancing step halfway down the driveway Alice greeted her sister, who was rising almost sinuously from her vehicle in dark jeans, sleek track shoes, and a wine-colored belted blouse which must have been from a top designer. Even the basic sweatshirt over her arm looked expensive. All the blonde curls Rosalie was known for were tugged snugly up into an edgy chignon and a heavy bag hung from her other arm.

"Alice, Bella," Rosalie nodded at each of us, and I was again startled by the pleasant way she greeted me.

"H-hi," I managed to squeak past my lips, feeling like an idiot. Thankfully she did not comment. "What brings you here?"

Oh, yes, because that didn't sound foolish, I fumed in my mind.

"Bella," Alice began, nearly jumping up and down in excitement that made me stare, "I have a surprise for you."

"Should I be worried?" I muttered sarcastically, to which Rosalie actually cracked a slight smirk.

Alice, contrarily, glared at me undauntedly. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Well, what is it, then?" I sighed in defeat, knowing she would surprise me no matter what I said.

"Windows!" she cried happily. "For your truck!"

Oh no.

Some of my frustration crept back up on me rather swiftly, along with a pink flush of embarrassment. "Alice, I said no more gifts! You promised!"

"Bella, honestly," she interrupted with a frown, "They were stuck and wouldn't come loose without breaking. You'd have needed new ones anyway."

"I was going to buy them myself," I huffed indignantly.

"And you could have afforded them?" she demanded disbelievingly.

"I have enough," I snapped. Of that I was fairly certain, at least.

Alice threw her hands up into the air. "Well, I have _more_ than enough."

"But I _told_ you—"

"And you expected me to listen?" she raised a brow in challenge, turning totally serious at my reaction.

"Once in a great while, _yes_ , I did! I figured you might – just _possibly_ – have taken a little hint this time!"

"Well, I didn't," she snapped right back, now thoroughly aggravated with me. "Rosalie offered to install them. You'll just have to deal with it."

_Rosalie_ offered?

Rosalie _offered_?

This had to be Alice's idea of a prank or something. Yet the perfectly beautiful vampire was standing beside us, waiting with raised brows for our argument to end. Embarrassment infused my cheeks with red. Of all people, Rosalie Hale was not one I wanted to offend and by refusing her assistance I could very well do that. It looked as though Alice was going to get her way. I simply could not risk getting further on Rosalie's bad side than I already had over the last year or so.

"Oh… w-well…" came my quiet, belated, stuttering reply. I was unable to truly look the blonde vampire in the face. Intimidation was no joke with this particular person.

"They're in the back of the truck, Rose," Alice informed her sister, voice cold. I was positive that coldness was directed at me, to my bewilderment. Was Alice normally this hard on me? I didn't think so – I _knew_ so – but she was giving a startlingly good impression of it. "I'm sure if Bella was a little less stubborn and a little more thoughtful, she'd thank you for spending your time on that _thing_."

With that she stormed out to the M3 without a word of goodbye, slipped inside with her books, and took off a split second afterward. Not once did she look back.

Was Alice really annoyed enough to make Rosalie think I was a whiny, ungrateful little human and unworthy of her time and patience? What's more… was my best friend really so critical of me? I flushed an even deeper red and wished I could bury myself away for the next decade rather than face Rosalie.

Whether by luck or by design, the vampire in question moved to the bed of my truck and removed the packaged windows. Feeling incredibly awkward, I sort of shuffled my way to the side, towards the house. Rosalie didn't give any sign she noticed, but moved to dig through her bag of what I realized were tools. Taking the opening, I headed inside with some relief that I would not have to spend the day sitting uncomfortably beside Rosalie. Some part of my subconscious tired to convince me I was being ridiculous, but leaving a finely dressed, supermodel vampire who disliked me in the driveway where she was going to be repairing the stuck windows of a truck she hated, along with the harsh words Alice threw back at me, wasn't making me feel happy in the least.

Few though the minutes were that I spent eating a very small snack in the kitchen, it was long enough that Alice's response began to really sting. Now uninterested in eating, I stood abruptly, backpack still on my shoulders, and moved quicker than normal to reach my bedroom, leaving my dishes on the table and tripping along the way upstairs. Barely had I gotten through the door and closed it behind me when the tightness in my eyes made itself known. I was surprised by how much Alice's words hurt me.

Scratch that. I was surprised she said them at all. Was she honestly mad at me for this? I couldn't say, except that her reactions had all been so genuine. Wetness welled up behind my lids, spurring me into dragging out all my homework as a distraction. It was all I could do not to unceremoniously wet the pages of my textbook.

Among the brief reading responses in English, I found a decent deterrent to my hurt feelings, but not a positive cure. My repressed tears, which finally fell over midway through Calculus problems, proved that admirably. Although my tears dried up after a full hour passed, the assignments took far less time than it would take for me to understand my best friend's actions.

At only a quarter to four, I finished the last piece of homework and with a groan of the world-weary, I stood stretching to the ceiling before slowly making my way into the kitchen to start dinner. As much as I needed further distracting from my melancholy, I didn't really have the heart to make anything too complicated. It didn't help for me to have a thorough bout of anxiety going because of the sporadic sounds of metal on metal outside, which kept me informed that Rosalie was still working on my truck windows.

Time played havoc on me again, considering that after only twenty minutes the fish, potatoes, and salad were packed away and ready to be warmed up or served once Charlie arrived.

Five minutes after four o'clock, almost two hours until Charlie came home. Blanching at the thought of so much uninterrupted alone time, I tried to think desperately of something to do. I could call Edward, of course. He would never refuse to come over and I would feel a whole lot better in spite of our current predicament. Then I thought of Rosalie seeing my desperation first-hand and in a sense of self-preservation I knew I couldn't sound so pathetic in front of her.

Sighing with some nervousness, I looked around for something to clean, but once I eyed the kitchen table where my dishes had lain not too long before, I realized the wooden surface was entirely empty. Confusion encapsulated my brain until I checked the cupboards. The dishes I had used were all up there, looking spotlessly clean. Who in the world had come in to do that?

A suspicion formed in my head, but it was so bizarre I tried to dismiss it immediately. Unfortunately, I could think of no other explanation.

Someone had come in silently and washed them for me, as well as thrown away the remnants of my small snack, and then left as stealthily (or perhaps, naturally?) as they came. If it were anyone else, they would have spoken to me. The only one who wouldn't was… Rosalie.

I stepped out of my front door with slightly shaking hands, eyes glued incredulously to the two lengths of denim sticking out from beneath my truck. No way could she have done those. No way _would_ she have done those. But why would any of the others leave without saying hello?

"Is something wrong?" came Rosalie's neutral voice from beneath the vehicle, making me jump.

"No," I quietly answered her, unable to speak much louder. I was still in a bit of shock, fused with the normal trepidation I felt towards this particular member of the Cullen family. She said nothing in return, but continued working. What she was doing I had no idea, since I doubted windows required under-the-body work, but I didn't have the guts to question her.

Feeling a strange compulsion to sit nearby while the blonde vampire worked, I took up a seat on the front steps, wrapping my arms around my knees. There were several feet between us, but she could hear me if I spoke and I was certain I would be able to hear her as well. Not that there would really be a lot of talking going on, but you never know what can happen.

I couldn't possibly have realized how true that sentiment was until Edward's perfectly beautiful sister started speaking to me.

"Does Alice usually behave so abominably?" she questioned suddenly, shaking me from my thoughts.

Too stunned to dwell on the bothersome behavior of my best friend, I thoughtlessly said, "Not exactly." It was truthful, at least.

"I always thought she was quite cheery with you," Rosalie went on to say, sounding terribly nonchalant despite the seemingly accusatory words. And was it just me or did she emphasize the words 'with you' a little bit? Warning bells might have been going off in my head if I was any less confused.

"Well, she's my best friend." Again I answered without thinking. This conversation was just a little above my typical standard of strange.

"And that means automatic joy?" Sarcasm, though well-masked, laced Rosalie's voice.

"Not necessarily," I replied a bit indignantly, "but I guess after waiting this long to meet your so-called best friend, you get a little over-actively cheerful about them."

That silenced the tinkering vampire for several moments, though I doubted her mind was idle. For me to notice such a thing made me realize I now felt much less intimidated around Rosalie than I did moments prior. The more we talked, the less I came to wholly fear her. Without the same level of fear, my mind began to analyze more and understand deeper.

Silly though it would seem to most people, Rosalie might be (in a tiny way) jealous of my friendship with Alice. Certainly it was not a very large reason for why she disliked me, but it had to play a part in her hostile attitude. Thinking along the lines of my friendship with Alice reminded me of what she had said earlier. It still hurt when I recalled it.

"Although I don't think she was very happy with me today," I muttered to myself, forgetting that vampires had exceptional hearing.

"Obviously not," Rosalie said. I could imagine how she rolled her eyes.

"I don't see why today should be any different," I grumbled, growing a touch careless now I was reasonably comfortable.

There was no reply, so I settled my head on my knees agitatedly. Why was she talking to me if she wasn't going to come to the point? I felt amazingly annoyed by that.

"Any special reason you're so curious?" Rude as it sounded, I was frustrated and still left in the dark about Alice.

After a pause in her work, she lied to me somewhat convincingly, "No."

"Uh-huh," I couldn't stop myself from saying, regretting the apparent snub, but afraid of appearing wishy-washy if I took it back.

"Must one always have a point when asking questions?" The Rosalie I remembered came back a little in that remark, showing her snappish personality and her dislike of me.

"Technically, no," I admitted, pressing forward boldly before she could interrupt, "but generally, pointless curiosity is only used in casual conversation. And you'll have to excuse me if I don't find your question or your attitude casual in the least."

Where in the world all my bravery was coming from, I couldn't have said. It just felt like I had been through enough of Rosalie's rigmarole that I was sick and tired of it. I didn't want to be mean to her, but if I could say what I had to Edward, I could say these things to his icy-tempered sister.

"Finally grown a backbone where I'm concerned, have you?" she almost hissed, sliding out from under the Chevy and popping up into a sitting position so suddenly as to startle me. It wasn't vampire speed, but it was ridiculously close.

Willing my heart back to a slower pace and my face to a less reddish hue, I calmly replied, "I was thinking more along the lines of 'reached an understanding.' But by all means, call it whatever you like. You will anyway, won't you?"

That was not the right thing to say, I realized as her eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. Despite this, I couldn't find it within myself to be afraid anymore. Not today, anyway.

"I should break this piece of junk," she growled low in her throat and gestured to my rusty red truck with a sharp jab of her blonde head.

"Go ahead," I shot back rapidly, satisfied that I had her here. "Edward will just give me a ride. Or he'll buy me a new car."

I didn't _want_ a new car from Edward (or anyone else for that matter), but Rosalie was driving me up a wall now and I knew that might shut her up. As predicted, the seething vampire threw herself back down on the crawler and slipped back under the Chevy. The tinkering became a bit more vicious, but not so much that I worried for the safety of my vehicle. Rosalie would not be so keen to do anything that would endanger me while on the road; not after what almost happened to her brother in Italy.

"Thanks for the windows," I blurted in a near monotone, jumping up to head inside before she could say anything else to me.

Finding no point to whiling away my time downstairs, I went back up to my room. Perhaps a book would pass the time; perhaps music or randomly searching the internet. Nothing struck me as interesting, however, and so I sat on the bed just thinking for a long while, until I heard Charlie pull up in the cruiser. Unknown to me up to that moment, I had wasted almost an hour and fifteen minutes by sitting around mindlessly. Jumping up to look out the window, I saw no trace of Rosalie or the tools she'd brought with her. The windows looked the same as ever, except for the brand new shine to them, and my father walked past without giving the rusted old monster a second glance.

* * *

 


	2. Ragged

Disclaimer: I do not own nor make profit off of _Twilight_. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer and Summit Entertainment, etc.

A/N:I don’t see this as changing Stephenie Meyer’s canon storyline really, so I wouldn’t call it AU, per se. The events might conflict with a fewminorplot details from SM’s universe. Characters may be a touch OOC at times.

> **Chapter 2: Ragged**

When it was time for bed, I could not fall asleep no matter how hard I tried. My brain kept whirring out of control and expounding upon the odd situations the day had brought. Edward's sulky face about his father, Alice's disappearing act (even though it was now clearly explained), the hurtful words my best friend had thrown at me, the suddenly clean dishes, and Rosalie's hissing remarks… it all made me want to pull my hair out in pure frustration. Edward wasn't here and, though I was glad he had decided to think so thoroughly about the circumstances, I missed him; Monday was the only night I had slept in his arms since last Thursday. And I feared that the nightmares, no matter how much better they had gotten, would attack me again the moment I closed my eyes. It seemed all of my loose ends had caught up to me, getting more tangled every time. All in all, the acute anxiety was not a good solution for insomnia.

Throwing myself upward out of the covers with a huff, I dragged a hand through my messy hair in irritation while Charlie snored away blissfully in his room. What was I suppose to do now, at midnight? Edward was off with his brothers and Alice apparently thought I was better off alone. Every which way I turned, dead ends met my searching mind. At last, I couldn't take it anymore and just got my phone out to call Alice. She was the only choice I had at the moment.

After listening to incessant ringing for a full three minutes, I never got an answer. Whatever she was doing, it was enough that my supposed best friend considered me unimportant by comparison. Stung for the second time that day by her reaction, I shut the phone viciously and slammed it down on the bed in the same careless way I tossed my body down. Those stupid tears were welling up again, thanks to the strong anger I was feeling as well as the hurt. This just wasn't my day.

Contrarily, hope began to flutter ridiculously in my chest a second later, when I remembered another number I had in the address book. It was answered before I ever heard the ringing. "Bella?"

I was stupidly relaxed by that familiar, inhuman tone of voice.

"Carlisle," I sighed in some silly form of relief; the Cullen patriarch had unconsciously become my safe harbor the past few weeks. Any Cullen at all – save Rosalie perhaps, and I wasn't even too sure about that – would have been welcome tonight, but Carlisle was especially nice.

"Can't sleep?" he asked kindly, somehow immediately knowing what my trouble was without even seeing at me.

"How did you know?" I questioned him with genuine curiosity. I would admit he had excellent observational skills, but through the phone?

"Why else might you be calling at this time of night," he explained simply. "You didn't sound at all panicked or hurt."

"True…" I admitted. "I've been tossing and turning since nine-thirty. I thought I'd go to bed early, make up on some of the sleep I've missed lately, but that never happened."

"What is it that's bothering you?" he inquired gently and I realized I had no real reason to be talking. I had just needed a comforting presence to anchor me in the face of the weird things the day had brought on me.

"I just… I don't know…" slowly I tried to explain. "I wanted to hear someone's voice, I guess. That sounds so petty. I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he soothed. "There are times when we simply need—"

What we simply need, I never found out. Our house phone rang downstairs and Carlisle heard it through our connection.

"That must be very important," he said quickly.

"I've got to go," I whispered urgently into the cell phone.

"All right," Carlisle swiftly replied and then the line went dead just as Charlie jogged out of his room and downstairs to pick up the phone.

Jumping out of bed with a stumbling step, I rushed downstairs as well, worried at what situation would be happening at this time of the morning.

"Swan residence," Charlie announced in a steady – albeit slightly sleep-fogged – voice. "Yeah, Steve… What? In Beaver?... Are you sure?"

The ensuing conversation between chief and deputy clued me into the fact that a fire in a town called Beaver, up by Lake Pleasant, was spreading quickly eastward. For Beaver, the nearest and dearest aid was from Forks. What could turn out to be a wildfire had begun only a short while away from us and the entirety of Forks' small police force was being called in to help. I was suddenly terrified. My father was being called in to help put out a wildfire. While Charlie settled the last-second details of his hurried discussion, my brain went into overdrive of scenarios where Charlie could be seriously hurt or – far worse – _killed_ by this devastation. Nothing registered too clearly as Charlie hung up the phone and turned around with a grave look on his face.

"Bells," he spoke very fast and low, already taking tiny steps toward the staircase. Impatience was obvious in his movements as he tried to slow down enough to talk with me. "That fire up in Beaver's getting out of hand and they need our help. No one else can get there faster than our department."

"Dad," I choked out, fighting for words as my fear almost incapacitated me. My hands shook violently at my sides and my throat tightened with repressed emotion.

"It'll be all right, Bells," he gruffly attempted to reassure me, but he was already halfway up the stairs as he spoke. "Don't have to worry."

"Don't have to worry?" I asked flatly. "You're kidding me, right?"

He didn't answer directly, but I could hear his sigh at the upper landing as he headed into his room to change. Left alone some three feet away from the phone, I had a hard time tearing my disbelieving gaze from where I had last seen Charlie standing. Distantly, I heard his footsteps going back and forth between the corners of his room, picking out whatever he was taking with him in his rush to help.

"Bells?" he called down a minute later with another sigh, "Pack a bag and change."

The relief I felt at his suggestion was immediate and my heart eased at the idea I could go with him and somehow, some way, ensure his safety if I was there with him. Tripping at least three times on the stairs, I ran up and threw something resembling clothing, toiletries, and shoes onto the bed and dug out the duffle bag I had used while on the run in Phoenix. All I could think as I changed into jeans and a gray pull-over was how I might be able to help up in Beaver. Once, I noticed Charlie hurry downstairs, but I didn't pay it much attention. He was probably calling Steve to tell him about my joining them. That would make sense, although I still wondered momentarily what he was saying. It wasn't like Steve would like the idea of a teenager coming along to put out a fire. As if to answer my question, Charlie was in my room before I had the duffle zipped up.

"I called Dr. Cullen," he told me forcefully, commandingly, foregoing his recent familiarity with the good doctor's first name in an effort to press his point home for me. "He's going to look after you while I'm gone."

Understanding swept darkly through me as he explained and it seemed as though my stomach dropped completely out of my body. Numbing cold spread in my thoughts as I realized what exactly Charlie had asked me to pack for. I should have known better than to expect I could go, too. I wasn't going with him to Beaver, I was going to stay with the Cullens. As far as staying went, that was normally okay, but right then I wanted to go with my father and make sure he was going to be all right.

"I'm coming with you," I insisted abruptly, fear clouding my judgment entirely as I awkwardly watched him turn to the steps with a horribly packed duffle over his shoulder.

"Absolutely not!" he shot back thunderously, turning around and growing red-faced in his anger. "You're not going anywhere _near_ that fire, young lady!"

"You'll get hurt," I said, frantically now in my desperation.

"It'll be fine," he roughly promised, but it sounded hollow to my ears. He knew no more than anyone else what was going to happen that night. "You better be safe, Bells."

"Me?" I practically squealed in abject terror, fists clenching at my side and new tears forming. " _Me_ be safe? Are you crazy? You've got to be careful!"

"I'll feel better knowing you're with people I can trust to look out for you," Charlie went on as if I hadn't said anything. There was some black irony in his eyes, doubtless his mind recalling the events of the past several months, but he had seen Carlisle taking excellent care of me the previous day and was clearly determined to shove away all doubts in an effort to make sure I was looked after in his absence. It was something he needed to be sure of, in order to feel better about leaving. And I couldn't respond at all because I _wanted_ him to feel better, even if I didn't feel anything except panic. He needed to be strong and confident to deal with this situation in a safe, rational way that would bring him back home to Forks.

Leaving the unzipped duffle on my bed, I followed in a mixture of useless dejection and fearful resignation as he hurried out to the cruiser and stashed his things inside, then stood to face the black Mercedes that was already coming down our street in a hurry. Charlie didn't even comment on the high speed, he was too focused. After parking at the curb, Carlisle stepped out of the car and strode towards us in an unzipped, sepia leather jacket, tan button-up, tan-and-brown striped scarf, and dark khakis. Charlie shook his hand in gratitude and I could only see lips moving; the ringing in my ears prevented me from hearing what quick words they exchanged.

Carlisle soon moved into the house for reasons unknown to me, leaving me alone with Charlie. Nothing more was said between us, but Charlie pulled me into a very tight, awkward one-armed hug that made me no more comfortable with the circumstances than I already was. He almost threw himself into the cruiser, then peeled out of the driveway and sped off towards town. I stared after his rapidly disappearing vehicle until my eyes were strained with the effort of watching an empty landscape for a car that wasn't coming back any time soon.

Cold fingers curled around my shoulder and I turned away from the now-empty street with blank eyes. I barely noticed being helped into my coat, or being led to the passenger side of the Mercedes, or the seatbelt being drawn over me. Dread was all-consuming.

Charlie had rarely discussed wildfires, seeing how often Forks was soaked with wet. The likelihood of that type of natural disaster was kind of small. Yet I could bring to mind one unusually vivid conversation with him back when I still lived with my mom. It had been on one of those two-week vacations in California and the area we had originally chosen to stay at had faced a small wildfire between the time we paid our expenses and the time we arrived. We were forced to move to another place and though at the time I was bored to death with it, I now saw some value in the discussion of the dangerous nature of wildfires. Much of the 'value' was minor compare to the negative aspects, but it was something to concentrate on that did not bring to mind images of a charred, mangled body coming back to Forks in place of Charlie Swan.

Nothing much else filtered into my mind as we drove, leaving me surprised when the white house came into view. Against a backdrop of dark, waving trees and murky depths of black sky, the Cullen home was almost completely lit up inside. Warm and cozy described the vision best and when I was finally inside the promised warmth, my body welcomed the change by relaxing the tense set of my shoulders, though the blank expression on my face did not follow with such ease.

"I'll leave this upstairs," Carlisle spoke softly so as not to disturb the comfortable quiet in the house. While he dashed up and back down, I was able to settle onto one of the white sofas, just staring out the large windows into the night.

"I should have realized you wouldn't want to try sleeping," Carlisle's confession floated down to me just as he materialized beside me on the sofa a split-second later, arm raised upon the back of it. "…Bella?"

Reluctantly, I looked into Carlisle's apologetic eyes. The sympathy and understanding I found there undid my flat, unfeeling behavior within seconds. Hot tears formed in the corners of my eyes, though I did not let them fall, and I threw myself at Carlisle's granite torso with a shuddering inhale, in need of reassurance I wasn't sure I could trust. Everything about me felt ragged and torn; stripped down to the bare minimum I could handle without falling apart. Enfolded in his cold embrace, I finally released all of the worry that had been building since the day, indeed the week, had begun. And while being comforted by one father as I worried about the other, the irony was definitely not lost on me.

"Try not to worry, Bella," Carlisle soothed me quietly, calm as ever, rubbing comforting circles on my back. "Charlie is fine right now. He is a smart man and he _wants_ to come home for you and his friends. We will pray for the best outcome. You will do him no good by breaking down."

The common sense and finality of those words steadied me. Ironically that steadying came with a heavy shiver, but I was willing to take whatever I got.

"Sorry." I shivered a second time, but my outrageous fearfulness was gone; not completely, but enough that I could function now.

"It's perfectly all right," he responded comfortingly. Now soothed, I sat back into the sofa more, settling beneath his arm with a sigh.

"Do you know by any chance where Edward, Jasper, and Emmett are?" he asked abruptly. Edward's name startled me.

"Edward said they were leaving for a sparring session at midnight." The confession felt hurtful coming from my lips. It would speak very strongly about Edward's anger at his father. I didn't want Carlisle to feel bad, but I didn't want to lie either.

I shrugged off my torn feelings before tentatively offering a question of my own so as to push the Charlie situation away for the moment. My curiosity was now pressing on the matter of Alice ignoring my call. "Carlisle, where's Alice?"

"I'm not precisely certain," he sighed in near exasperation, which meant he was pretty much left in the dark about her plans. "She, Esme, and Rosalie left at nine-thirty, but they hadn't made the final decision on their destination. I haven't had word from them since they left. They were going for a ladies night out, which usually would include a hunt or a run, shopping, and potentially an overnight stay. All in all, I really shouldn't worry too much… though a brief word might be nice."

"Oh…" the word trailed off uselessly. Alice was out spending a girls night with Esme and Rosalie? I mean, obviously they were family and had spent plenty of time together over the years, but why would Alice ignore my phone call just because of that? It stung as much as her words this afternoon had.

"Did something happen today?" Carlisle suddenly inquired, his tone very serious… and very suspicious. Of what, I couldn't tell, though my defeated features may have had something to do with it.

"Not… no…" I hesitated audibly, taking tentative breaths and almost spouting words before quitting in my remaining confusion. _Plenty_ had occurred today.

"Ah, then something did happen," he sighed tiredly. "What was it, if you don't mind my asking?"

_Did_ I mind his asking? Were today's events a secret I wanted to hide from everyone? Even if I planned just that, why couldn't I tell Carlisle? He already knew about Alice's stunt at lunch, knew what she had bought for me, and would surely understand all the rest. Yet still I felt strangely shameful of my unusual rift with Alice, like I should have prevented it or kept it from growing too complicated. Her abandonment left me feeling especially unsteady. I'd never had a best friend like this before, so maybe my lack of experience made me more uncertain than I needed to be, causing me to be bothered where I had no need. Nevertheless, the feeling _was_ there and it _was_ bothering me.

"I – er – yeah, some things did… happen… My windows got stuck, first of all… but you knew that… um… then everyone was early at school and it got so crowded and congested. People were so rude…" My beginning was stunted and halting, but it grew easier to talk with each passing minute, until I was talking more than I had all day. I told Carlisle all about Tyler, Lauren, Edward, Alice, Rosalie, and Charlie… and then some more about Edward and Alice and Charlie. I even randomly mentioned the loss of Jacob's friendship, then started crying about stupid things like how little Charlie had said to me when he got home today, the bit of rain that had pattered against my window earlier in the evening, how tired I was, my aching spine, and how much I missed Edward.

By the time I finished, I was uncharacteristically blubbering and feeling mightily sorry for myself.

"You have had a rather horrible day, haven't you?" Carlisle was incredibly sympathetic, not even sounding the least bit disappointed that I was complaining about petty things which I wouldn't normally find so terrible to behold.

"Not _horrible_ …" I reluctantly admitted in a shockingly weepy voice. "But kind of bad."

He laughed very gently in response and the sound made me feel better, comforted. Like a small child being held in their father's arms after a bad nightmare. Well, if I was being honest, that was almost completely the truth right now. I wished for that day when I was sitting with him watching _Snow White_ or maybe listening to _Der Freischütz_ and _Fidelio_. It was like a sort of homesickness, really. I didn't know when I'd become so indispensably attached to his fatherly presence, or how I was able to live with two fathers playing totally opposite roles in my life, but I had and I could.

"Do you feel any better now?" he kindly questioned me, unfiltered concern in his voice.

"A little," I nodded into his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"You really ought to stop that," he teased me, smiling and looking down on me. "You're almost as bad as I am."

" _Almost_ ," I emphasized dramatically. "No one could be as bad about over-apologizing as you."

Chuckling good-naturedly, he patted my shoulder. "So sor – ah – I mean…"

We both laughed a little at the obvious example of his apologies.

"Well… what would you like to do?" he asked at last. I remembered my wish to be sitting and watching Snow White or listening to operas. But Disney in any case was not as much on my wishlist at the moment, nor was opera. Knowing, however, that I could do nothing for Charlie prompted me to watch _something_ , else I would lose my mind.

That was how we found ourselves watching a version of _The Secret Garden_ from 1993. Carlisle had suggested it after I came up empty-handed and so far I didn't regret Mary Lennox's story one bit.

"What do you think?" he asked after a considerable portion of the movie had passed us by, both of us still partly engrossed in Lord Craven's hurried return to Misselthwaite Manor.

"I like it," I smiled slightly. Charlie still settled into the back of my mind, a constant worry I could not erase until he returned safely home. But being so helpless in that arena, I was willing to give part of my attention to the film. The bitter young Mary captured both my fascination and my pity in equal measure. "I'm surprised to admit I haven't even read this book yet, so it's a brand new mystery for me. I'll have to buy it eventually. If it's anywhere near as good as the movie, which it probably is, then it might become a favorite of mine."

A thoughtful look overcame Carlisle's features, as well as a sort of mildly enthusiastic gleam; that much I could see in my peripheral vision. Easy though it would have been to avoid the inevitable disagreement, gifts were a rather sore topic at the moment; it was too difficult to keep quiet.

"If you even think about buying me that, Carlisle…" the threat escaped me lowly and as demanding as I could make it sound. Not that it did much in the way of subduing the golden-blond vampire's eagerness, but I always had to try.

"Very well," he sighed tiredly.

"You already spent too much on _one_ present," I hinted none-too-subtly. Carlisle had the grace to look slightly sheepish at the mention.

"Perhaps, for your standards," he admitted with a half-shrug. "Truthfully though, Bella, I would have bought something of a similar nature and price tag had I been paying attention at Christmas. And I _would_ have wanted to buy something in remembrance of your presence in our lives."

Pink flooded my cheeks, though the embarrassment was short-lived in comparison to the kind words he had said. Emotional as I still was at the time, it was not too hard to feel very touched. Words of thanks and sympathy filled my head to tell the golden-headed vampire.

"Honestly, that Jane Austen collection had to have cost hundreds," I said instead, cowering in the face of the sentimental moment and hoping to divert the attention from those Christmas presents Alice had brought the night before.

"That is highly probable," Carlisle nodded seriously. I rolled my eyes at that; of course he would take my remark literally. But I had no reason to complain. He had followed the change of subject beautifully.

"You're so weird," I muttered under my breath, cursing internally when Carlisle laughed out loud. Of course, he had heard. Why could I never remember that tidbit?

"I shall take that as a compliment," he commented at last, chuckling still. "Being _weird_ has been a blessing to this family."

There was little I could say to that, since it was precisely true. Another change of topic was in order, but as I searched around for something new to say, my thoughts seemed to dwell on Rosalie and our argument this afternoon. Various pieces of information – all stemming from the talk on Monday with Edward, Alice, and Jasper – fell into step beside the remnants of the mess earlier that day. Was it heartless to ask Carlisle about Rosalie's angers and frustrations? Was it even fair? I could be certain of nothing, but there was no one else who would be honest about it. Edward kept secrets to protect me, Alice didn't want to discuss it out of distaste, Jasper didn't talk to me but for five seconds anyway, Emmett was depressed and probably defensive of his wife, and Esme would say things in an effort to eliminate the frostiness between her blonde daughter and myself. Carlisle was the one Cullen who wouldn't lie to me about this.

Heaving a sigh, I spit out words before my reluctance could catch up with me. "Carlisle, can I talk to you about something?"

"Of course." Turning to face me with curiosity in his features, he muted the volume on the TV while Mary Lennox walked away from the garden that was hidden no longer. "Go right ahead."

Taking a deep breath, I nodded once with decisiveness and then began simply, "Do you think Rosalie is jealous of my friendship with Alice?"

"Jealous of... oh." Carlisle's brows took a nose dive, making him look almost severe in his thoughtfulness. "I can't say I've ever gotten that impression… Not yet, at least."

Pausing contemplatively to lean his chin on one hand, the elbow of which was on his knee, he abstractly reminded me of the 'Thinking Man' statue. Considering his stone-like body, I might have laughed at the irony under better circumstances. As it was, my amusement did not extend quite so far; more serious subjects came to mind that counteracted the humor.

Finally, the blond-haired vampire replied pensively, "I can see why you might think that, especially after today's conversation. I'm just not certain if it's true or not. Rosalie has always gotten along fairly well with Alice, despite the fact that Alice is so close with Edward."

"She dislikes Edward that much?" I asked confusedly. No, Rosalie and Edward did not exactly get along, but I had always believed this was mostly my fault for 'intruding' on the family. Otherwise, I had not realized they were so upset with each other. Perhaps a bit at odds, as siblings can be, and maybe upset because of Rosalie's attitude towards Carlisle during their time in Ithaca, but not like the blonde vampire always felt for me.

"I am afraid so," answered Carlisle with a weary sigh that bespoke many unfortunate stories I would want to hear some day, though they might make me wince.

"But I thought… I thought it was just me…" was the only thing I could come up with to say. Carlisle shook his head somewhat sadly. It struck me that Rosalie and Edward would get along just fine, when one considered their views on the vampire life.

"Why does she dislike Edward so much?" I asked quietly, barely a breath in the quiet of the house.

"Sadly, Bella, that situation is not mine to expound upon," he sighed again, appearing to slouch ever so slightly into the white sofa. "Let us just say that from the beginning, there has been a great deal of tension between them."

"And of course, you're going to blame yourself for that, for the rest of time." My teeth ground together at the thought. "Because it was your idea to make her a vampire in the hopes of giving Edward a companion, you'll allow your guilt to run you into the dirt."

"Bella—"

"No." I glowered at the compassionate vampire, surprising him with my forceful interruption. "You bit her when she didn't want you to, I get that. Maybe it wasn't your choice to make, but she could be happier if she tried to see the good in things and in people. And if she allowed her love with Emmett to be the most important thing. You've got to want what you have if you're ever going to get what you want."

The philosophy, or logic, or whatever it was I had just spouted may have come off rusty and convoluted, but it made sense to me. If all a person wanted is what they don't have, they could never be happy.

"You are quite the philosopher, my dear," Carlisle smiled warmly at me, kissing my forehead fondly. "And I very much like your logic, but will you promise me something?"

"Such as what?" I inquired warily, but mostly trustingly. I didn't want to give an absolute yes or no just yet. Not until I heard the actual request.

He chuckled at my hesitancy and squeezed my shoulder soothingly before replying in a much more serious tone of voice, "Firstly, please do not underestimate what Rosalie has lost by being thrust into this life. You have not heard her tale and the evolution of her current personality was not so simple as turning the page of a novel to read the next line. I also ask that you be patient with her moods. Try to see it from her point of view, if you can. Where you see the benefits choosing this life can offer you, Rose sees only the losses of a life she always dreamed of. Just do your best to remember that."

Amazed though I was by Carlisle's forever patient demeanor, these requests did strike me as exceptionally kind… even for him. Rosalie pretty much hated him most of the time – or at least gave a very good impression of it, from what the others said – but he still gave her the benefit of the doubt like this. Unfortunately, I could easily see this as being caused by Carlisle's guilt as much as his compassion. Heaving an exasperated breath, I tried not to let disappointment flood me. I had found a great deal of sense in all that Carlisle just said, but if it was only a product of his guilt… No. It couldn't be. No matter how guilty he felt, Carlisle still made a great deal of sense.

"I will," I finally agreed with a little smile.

"Good." He smiled back at me, but the smile disappeared as quickly as it came. All of a sudden, his head whipped around in a blur of movement to the back wall, black-ridden golden eyes narrowed and intent upon the glass barrier as if it had offended him.

Startled, I put what I hoped was a calming hand on his shoulder. "Carlisle? Are you okay?"

The softness of his voice made it impossible to discern whatever he first responded with, so I leaned my ear against his chest, just above where his heart had once beat, in order to hear better. I was incredibly concerned that something was wrong with both of the father figures in my life, but Carlisle's next words made the fear rise several notches above even _that_ worry.

"There's something out there," he murmured suspiciously. Wide-eyed as my head snapped up to face his profile, I froze completely in place. We two were like a pair of statues for a long moment and his gaze did not waver from the back of the house. "I can hear trees rustling in the distance."

Frightened though I was, gladness filled me that he could at least pinpoint where it was and something of what was going on. At least he could have a feel for the situation. Besides that, I was ecstatic to be near someone safe, which limited the fearful reaction I should have been having. At the same time, I didn't want Carlisle to be hurt defending me… If I had unfrozen long enough, my nails would have been bitten to the quick while we waited. Waited for what, I didn't know, but it felt like a lifetime before anything broke up the stares we employed.

So silent and still were the two of us that I jumped back from Carlisle's chest as he snapped his head abruptly in the opposite direction, toward the front entry. Turning beneath his arm in surprise, I also gazed at the main entryway. It wasn't until noises became audible to my human hearing that I recognized why Carlisle had so quickly changed the course of his focus.

First came the sound of a car pulling up to the house at an extremely high speed; Carlisle must have heard it when it had just turned onto the drive to their home, hence why he had turned long before I heard anything. Next came the squeal of the brakes and the slamming of a door, then silence. I would have been utterly horrified, if not for the calm presence of Carlisle. He had not completely relaxed, but he appeared easy in his mind, even downright pleased, at this turn of events. Some of the others must have come home. As if he'd heard my thoughts, the bronze-headed vampire I loved suddenly appeared behind the sofa where I had settled with his father. He was but inches away from us, his hand resting heavily and icily on the back of my neck, and I felt safer than I ever had before.

"I heard," were the first rapid-fire words from his mouth, eyes intent on Carlisle's, but widened in worry. Whatever Carlisle was thinking at him, it related directly to the sound that had us tied up in knots of anxiety a moment earlier. "Jasper and Emmett are following the trail."

"Do you know what it was?" I asked tremulously and as Carlisle tightened his arm about my shoulders in understanding, Edward flashed around the sofa to sit right beside me and slip his arms around my waist. Carlisle's hand got trapped between my right shoulder and Edward's chest, but neither of them seemed disturbed. From Edward's feelings the past two days, this unbothered attitude was practically unreal. Then again, if someone was keeping me safe, he would probably feel forever indebted to them. And I imagined Carlisle had explained about Charlie through his thoughts, anyway. Nevertheless, if that was his reaction to my question and my fear, I doubted it was as simple as a woodland animal that had been outside the white house. The scent vampires gave off would have scared away anything like that very quickly, anyway.

"It was definitely a vampire," Edward confessed with tight features, lips pressing firmly together and eyes off in space. I could tell he was focusing on the others' thoughts as he spoke. "No one that Emmett, Jasper or I recognize. They were gone before we came into a range where I would have heard them."

"I should have called out to you sooner," Carlisle apologized out loud, likely for my benefit alone, though I wasn't perturbed at the moment.

"You were right to concentrate on the sound, rather than sending a mental message for me," Edward shook his head emphatically. "I'm glad you were so focused on it. I wouldn't have heard it so clearly otherwise."

"I'll check the scent," offered Carlisle. Edward nodded and then the blond-haired vampire disappeared from the house in a blur of gold and brown.

"Edward," I sighed in relief. Turning into his chest felt like coming home after a long trip. Although he was freezing, rock solid, and rigid with tension, it was still the best place I could imagine being.

"I'm sorry Charlie had to go," he whispered into my hair, embracing me tighter than before. "But he'll be fine. You'll see."

Coming from him, the words sounded like a vow. Before I could wonder why, Carlisle returned the room sounding pensive. "I didn't truly expect to know them, but…"

"It's disconcerting," Edward agreed gravely and his arms were almost constricting about my waist.

"The girls," came Emmett's dull voice. It worried me to hear how unhappy it sounded. That was not the Emmett I remembered. Edward must have noticed my body tensing up, but he did not say anything.

Carlisle let out a worried 'hm' and said, "Alice didn't call, Jasper?"

"Not for a few hours," Jasper's Texan drawl came from the furthest away, it seemed. "I called once and—"

"She picked up?" I couldn't help blurting out, rudely cutting Jasper off and locking eyes with him as I snapped up in surprise. My sudden burst of speech brought a red flush to my cheeks and caused four vampires to stare at me. Carlisle loosed an understanding sigh, but the others looked bewildered. Edward's confusion made _me_ confused; he could have just read Carlisle's mind, or so I thought. I'd also thought Carlisle stopped blocking his mind, considering that Edward had obviously heard whatever his father was thinking about the intruder, but this was plainly not the case. Both Alice and Carlisle were still keeping Edward out of their thoughts, with no end in sight for the near future. The only difference was that Alice apparently had to block her mind almost completely, whereas Carlisle was able to choose what Edward heard with frequency; he appeared to easily withhold some thoughts while propelling others forward.

"Yes, she did," replied Jasper, eyes focused on me with sudden concentration as the slight from Alice morphed into the same hurt I'd felt outside my house. Dawning comprehension flickered in his and Edward's eyes. "She didn't pick up for you, did she?"

"No," I mumbled in embarrassment, blushing red as a beet and looking down at Edward's chest. Obviously I couldn't compare my phone call to that of Jasper, but it bothered me that Alice would tune me out like that.

"That doesn't sound like Alice," the Southern vampire continued with a frown in his voice.

"Actually, it sounds quite a lot like her," Edward countered in a tone of voice that sounded partly amused and a little bit sarcastic. This strange combination startled me. He thought it was funny Alice was ignoring me?

"Meaning what, exactly?" Jasper didn't sound threatening, but there was an edge of defensiveness in his words that wasn't entirely friendly.

Now Edward sighed both tiredly and irritably. "Alice is planning something. I can't tell you what it is precisely, but I know she is certainly planning something. Or perhaps has already started the plan. Who knows?"

Ah, so Alice was planning something? But what? And why was she ignoring me in order to get it done? The sting of her actions lessened a drop, but not entirely. Not even close.

"I see your point," Jasper sighed too, "but what do you mean 'who knows'?"

"She's been keeping up a constant mental blockade the past few days—" Edward glanced over at Carlisle suspiciously and worriedly, bluntly referencing the golden vampire's own mental fences, before finishing the thought, "so I definitely have no idea of what's gone through her mind."

Emmett did not even chuckle at the fact that someone else was keeping Edward's talent at bay; the burliest Cullen did not even bat an eyelash. It was so disconcerting I stared at him, half-expecting the big jokester to flap back with a smart-aleck remark for his bronze-haired brother. But no such comment came. Emmett just sat on the stairs, leaning against the railing with his arms crossed and mouth straight as a pin… and looking more like a sagging teddy bear than a hulking mass of nearly-indestructible vampire. I just about wanted to cry at the loss of such a jovial personality.

Jasper took keen notice of my even lower spirits and frowned at the change, but said and did nothing to change it. Edward also noticed, thanks to Jasper's thoughts I assumed, and the corners of his mouth tightened with stress. "Just call," he announced curtly, eyeing Emmett with an assessing gaze.

But no one had to call them after all, for Jasper's phone rang not a second later. At the velocity he was talking, I gave up trying to understand it and turned around so I could lean back against Edward. In my movement, I caught sight of Carlisle standing like a statue, except for his eyes; the darkened orbs roved between his first two sons almost as if he was imagining pacing back-and-forth between the two. More likely, however, the Cullen patriarch was trying to decide whether to sit with Edward and me or beside Emmett. Edward was too concentrated on Jasper to bother looking over at his father, but I had no such distraction.

Catching Carlisle's gaze at last, I gestured with my eyes over at Emmett's slouched form, hoping to push him in that direction. Understanding quickly, he smiled a little in appreciation and then reappeared next to his youngest son, placing a hand on his thick shoulder. Looking up in surprise, Emmett's face seemed to lighten up a smidgen at the sight of his father. It was nowhere near enough to satisfy me, but it would have to do for the time being.

The surprise in Emmett's thoughts must have garnered Edward's attention. Quite suddenly too, if the way he whipped around to stare at his burly brother was any indication.

"Emmett," Edward spoke up after a pause, drawing the glance of the vampire in question. "You are very wrong, you know."

"Doubt it," Emmett muttered at a volume I could only just make out.

"I wouldn't, if I were you," Edward responded kindly and left it at that. Carlisle, Jasper, and I all looked between the two brothers in wondering confusion, but neither answered our curiosity.

From that point on the house was silent, at least for my human hearing capabilities, save when Jasper told Alice goodbye at a more human speed.

"They're staying out," he explained as he closed the cell phone. "No sense in them coming back now the stranger's gone, anyway. We can handle any tracking and Alice will call if she sees anything at all."

"How far did you follow the trail?" Edward asked thoughtfully. Jasper replied with his mind and not his mouth, for Edward kept right on talking. "Far enough to get a feel, then…"

"But not quite the most satisfactory distance," Jasper finished out loud, nodding seriously. "I say we go a little farther."

"Perhaps we can get a sense of what they were doing, at least," agreed Edward.

"What if you run into them?" I wondered, then blanched at the thought.

"We'll sense them before we reach them," was Edward's sure answer, though it did nothing to ease my nerves as he rose to follow his honey-blond brother out the back. I wanted to say something, anything, to keep him back, but nothing came to mind. He would go anyway, because he wanted to keep me safe from this potential visitor. And I was as secure as I could get with Emmett and Carlisle both present.

"Be careful," I pleaded instead, squeezing Edward's icy hand with as much force as I could muster, so as to convey my insistence.

"I will be," he smiled soothingly and leaned forward to press his lips gently to mine. I reacted less viscerally than expected – a sure sign of my rampant anxiety – and before I could blink, Edward was gone.

* * *

 


	3. Restive

Disclaimer: I do not own nor make profit off of _Twilight_. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer and Summit Entertainment, etc.

A/N:I don’t see this as changing Stephenie Meyer’s canon storyline really, so I wouldn’t call it AU, per se. The events might conflict with a fewminorplot details from SM’s universe. Characters may be a touch OOC at times.

> **Chapter 3: Restive**

Instead of worrying my heart out over Edward and Jasper's small tracking expedition, as I was more likely to lean towards, it seemed much more practical and useful to set my mind upon the nearest available puzzle to figure out.

Emmett was that puzzle. Not that I saw him as some kind of science experiment. It was just very helpful to try and use logic to figure out what was going wrong within this family at the present time.

Carlisle's mere presence at his son's side had lightened the look on the burly vampire's face already, if only a little bit. Still, there was something bothering Emmett and it appeared to have some vague connection to his father. As yet, I couldn't tell if Carlisle was the direct root of his son's behavior or what. If Carlisle was the root, then it was something he had done that made Emmett so sad. However, if Carlisle was not the primary cause of this, it meant that someone else had done something to or about the Cullen patriarch that Emmett did not like. At least, that was all I could think of that would explain it, outside of Carlisle being directly responsible; I did not want to consider that just then.

Rosalie also had something to do with Emmett's personality change, of that I was sure. She would always have a part in what happened to him, whether as the cure, the cause, or the support system. Their lack of time together, such as when the blonde vampire came to fix my truck just that afternoon, seemed conspicuous and suspicious in equal measure. I was surprised, now that I thought back on it, that Emmett hadn't come over as well. He wouldn't have missed such an important time to watch me potentially trip or otherwise embarrass myself if he could help it. Either he'd been too mired in his sad state or there was trouble with him and Rosalie. Both seemed just as likely as the other, so I kept them close to the surface.

No doubt Edward was a large part of this dilemma, too. His near suicide – I winced at the term, but tried not to focus much on it – in Italy had done quite a number on everyone, even ice-cold Rosalie who apparently didn't even like Edward. I also had no doubt Emmett disliked Edward's off-and-on anger towards their father. Barring Rosalie, who in this family _didn't_  dislike it? Additionally, there was the odd little exchange between Edward and Emmett, which had clearly confused Carlisle and Jasper just as much as it had me. And Edward was surprised by his brother's line of thinking, so what did that say about it? Whatever had passed through the big vampire's thoughts, it was a situation he had never voiced before, not even in his mind.

Everything pointed to a little triangle of problems with Carlisle, Edward, and Rosalie; the likes of which had affected Emmett very powerfully. At the idea of this problematic triangle, I sighed heavily and reached up to rub my eyes tiredly. Would this never end? How many issues could those three face before simply combusting from the pressure of it all?

"You should  _attempt_  some sleep, if nothing else," Carlisle chided gently from the stairs, bringing me to look up at his golden features through mildly bleary eyes. Beside him, Emmett also glanced up at me, a hint of concern gracing his serious face. Uncharacteristic as that expression seemed on him, I appreciated the care which he felt in spite of his own difficulties.

"I'm not all that tired, really," I confessed with a sheepish shrug. "Just… lost in my thoughts, I guess."

"Will you at least lie down on the sofa?" Carlisle pressed still, face a bit pleading. "It would make me feel better if you were resting somehow. There is still school tomorrow."

School, though only a few hours off, felt like an eternity away while waiting for the return of Edward and any news from Charlie, but I reluctantly admitted Carlisle was right. A resigned sigh escaped me as I started to settled down. "Fine."

I immediately hesitated once I realized that laying down meant my view of Carlisle and Emmett being blocked, not to mention I would not see the entrances. I wanted to catch sight of Edward when he reentered the house, even if it was only as a blur. Seeing my pause, both vampires looked confused, but Emmett somehow understood first. Rising from his seat by Carlisle, Edward's burly brother reappeared at the end of the sofa. To my misfortune, Emmett flipped the couch around to face the stairs in a sky-high whirl; I had to grip onto the back for dear life, fighting sudden nausea. I didn't dare open my eyes for fear of ruining Esme's pristine white furniture. Chuckling, though I could not tell who from, reached my ears and I gritted my teeth in irritation, yet gratitude for Emmett's partially helpful gesture.

"For some reason, you never get any rest at our house," Carlisle said wryly, his voice abruptly beside me. Opening my eyelids tentatively to look at him standing there with a glass of water, I allowed a shaky grin to splash across my face in reply and took the proffered glass. I was pleased, in the back of my mind, to see a smile also on Emmett's face from where he was seated on the floor with his back to the sofa.

"Vampire-in-training, remember?" I joked weakly as Carlisle seated himself beside me. Slightly woozy though I felt while leaning into his icy side, I noticed he was just within reach of Emmett's shoulder.

To my shock, Carlisle and Emmett both chuckled at my bad humor. For one thing, I didn't realize it was all that funny. And for another, it was amazing seeing the little changes in the sagging teddy bear I had been watching minutes before. Maybe this time with Carlisle, having this father-and-son bond strengthened, was really what Emmett needed. I had just decided to talk with Alice about setting something up when I remembered she wasn't really talking to me at the time. Saddened once more by the thought of our rift, I promptly decided against asking her. She would see the sudden shift in futures that my choices had made, but I couldn't dwell on it. At least now Alice might think of planning something herself to help Emmett and Carlisle's relationship. That would just have to be good enough for me.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves shall we?" Carlisle's eyes twinkled as he glanced down at me. Scowling at him was my next order of business, to which he only chuckled.

After several moments of fairly comfortable silence, I finally voiced my concern about the stranger who had come so near to the house. "How close did they come?"

Sighing deeply, Carlisle furrowed his brows with worry as he replied, "Too close. About 200 yards or so."

I wasn't certain how many feet that was in translation, but as he had stated, it was too close. "Is it… do you think…?"

I couldn't even voice my worry, I was so paralyzed with fear at the prospect. Flaming red hair entered my mind's eye, as terrifying as ever and just as elusive.

"The Volturi aren't going to touch you," Emmett answered with surprising venom before Carlisle could even open his mouth. "If that's one of them trying to get to you, we'll make sure they don't find their way back home. You can bet on it."

Though he had guessed completely wrong, I was disconcerted by Emmett's nearly accurate (and rather hateful) supposition. We both turned to look at the thickset vampire, his father with blanched features and I with a tense expression. The threat implied in the black-haired vampire's words sent a shiver down my spine. Carlisle was no doubt fearful at the prospect of one or more of his children fighting the vampire royalty in Italy, who were – by all accounts – an unstoppable force. For me, it was actually the fact that this attitude was just so dark for Emmett; he might rally for a good fight, but never such a dark and angry violence as could be heard in his voice now. Whatever was going on with him, I knew I had to figure it out… and fix it soon.

"No," Carlisle's soft, anxious voice wobbled tremendously in the face of Emmett's underlying suggestion that he pick a fight with the Volturi. The Cullen patriarch appeared afraid – more than I had ever seen him look since we'd met. There was something else in his expression, though… something different from simple fear and yet somehow similar to it. Before I could decide precisely what it was, Emmett snapped a quick glance back to his father – catching the strange emotion as well, if I had to hazard a guess – and promptly his features morphed into a look of shame. Ostensibly, he recognized his father's emotion, despite how unfamiliar it was to me. Then Emmett rapidly rose from his spot on the floor, eyes steadily focused upon his feet, and stalked off to stare out the back wall. Carlisle's expression dropped off completely in response.

Increasingly befuddled and trying all the harder to discern what was happening, I begrudged the pounding headache beginning to form in my brain, limiting my problem-solving skills. All of the events that had taken my world by storm the past week were catching up to my comparatively smaller human brain capacity, clearly. My inability to determine solutions to the complex and varied difficulties of the Cullens frustrated me in the extreme. More than that, however, the dozens of unnerving changes in my vampire family caused me to feel horrendously perturbed and restive. Nothing settled properly or easily in my thoughts while these complications continued unsolved and my body quivered with the added restlessness. Rain started to fall outside, as well, only furthering my overall dismay.

I must have shifted uncomfortably about ten times before Carlisle gently reminded me, "School is in a couple of hours. Try to sleep a little."

He met my gaze with patience in his golden eyes, allowing me to tuck up beneath his chin. The rain began to pound madly against the window – a sudden downpour after the light pattering of a few moments before – as I finally complied with Carlisle's wishes.

A world of thick, heavy blackness came to surround me in sleep. Not the comforting black of real rest, but an odd, tense midnight which kept me on edge. But slowly, ever so slowly, the black changed; it transformed into something else entirely, though its tension remained unchanged. A strange flash of something like lightening sparked in the deepest part of the darkness, as though a match had been struck and now barely smoldered white in the distance. A patch of yellow took its place after a time, and orange a while after that. Fire, I couldn't help thinking… flame.

The flames were low at first, barely embers, but building quite plainly to a larger and more dangerous fire. Colors deepened and shifted in the dark, revealing reds growing stronger and stronger at the heart of the blaze. In size, also, the fire grew as it progressed. Forever seemed to pass as the burning continued undeterred, until at last another change came.

Out of this unaccountable fire came the sudden sight of the very same high cliffs from which I had jumped into the ocean not a month before. Strange that I should see La Push after so long an absence from it, but it was obviously the exact same cliffs. Precisely the same spot, even. What made it even stranger was that – against all odds – there were vampires on the cliffs, sparkling away in the muted sunlight that shone down on the rocky outcropping. Not just any vampires, either.

The Cullens were in La Push. Or, at least, three of them were. Carlisle and Edward stood at a standoff, Carlisle's back to the cliffs and Edward's to the forest, while Rosalie stood ahead of Edward and to his right. How they had not been chased off by now, I didn't know. It was against the treaty and the wolves were unhappier with my vampire family than ever right now. Totally ill-advised on their behalf, causing me unimaginable stress and worry, but it didn't seem they could hear me when I yelled, "You've got to run! You shouldn't be here! Go, before they catch you!"

Much to my surprise, though, the wolves were nowhere to be seen. I didn't hear them growling, snuffling around the brush, or shuffling across the hard ground on their enormous paws. Even the twitter of birds and the scurrying of small creatures from the forest were absent in this unaccountable standoff between father and children. Stillness marked the three vampires as well, it seemed to me, until I began to notice little movements that might have otherwise been indeterminable to anyone less informed about vampires. Every few moments Carlisle would inch forward a fractional amount – towards a passive, apathetic Edward – and abruptly Rosalie, looking feral, would counter her adoptive father's tiny footwork with a step doubled back at him and a snarl that grew increasingly louder than the last one.

Infinitesimal though it appeared at the beginning, these little footsteps finally revealed one very important fact. Each step was pushing Carlisle backward and closer to the dangerous ledge the lay behind him. Every single move was leading him into a fateful fall to the churning sea below, which became strangely loud as it crashed over my eardrums suddenly. I tried to convince myself that this fall would not be detrimental to Carlisle in the least, seeing how he was a vampire who had no need to breathe and would probably break anything that he came across before it could ever do him any potential damage (not that much  _could_  damage a vampire's granite body, anyway), but the image made me edgier the longer I watched. It wasn't until I saw his eyes shining a beautiful dark blue that I acknowledged the truth.

Carlisle was somehow human. More simply put, he was clearly a mixture of vampire and human species. The eyes and lack of pale skin were very human. His complexion was very lightly golden, almost as if to mimic the color of his eyes as vampire. Yet he sparkled and stood as still as any statue, save when he inched forward and backward as dictated. I didn't really want to find out if his skin was as penetrable as it seemed.

Time passed, but the dance continued uninterrupted until Carlisle was pushed very near the precipice – dangerously near. He was just about to take another inching step forward, when I realized with a jolt that this one last move would lead to another opposing step by Rosalie, which would then send Carlisle backward into the ocean far below. Just when I shouted out to stop him and keep him safe… he stepped forward to his daughter's warning snarl…

I did not find out the result of this probably fatal step, for I was jolted out of my sleep and away from Carlisle's near-catastrophe quite suddenly by a clap of thunder like a gigantic canon blast.

Blinking rapidly into the semi-darkness and coming quickly aware through my half-roused state of consciousness, I was surprised – though not unduly so – to find myself lying in Edward's bedroom. The lights were off, but in the dim light which shone through the wall of windows facing me, I could faintly make out familiar pale covers and light-colored bedposts. Carlisle & Esme's bed had once again been transferred for me. I could also see and hear that it was pouring buckets of rain outside, as it had been when I'd fallen asleep.

"Good morning," came a voice made of velvet from behind me, just loud enough to hear over the storm outside. I jumped visibly, but relaxed at once as I connected Edward to the voice. As quickly as I relaxed, my vampire boyfriend was sitting atop the covers beside me, brushing messy strands of dark brown hair back from my face with a loving smile on his features. The breath rushed from my lungs at this glorious wakeup call; Edward's eyes smoldered like molten gold with his affection. Chuckling as usual, he encouraged me to start breathing again before speaking further. Once his eyes were safely away, it was not too difficult to regain air and functioning lungs.

"Morning," I murmured at last with a tiny smile for him, to which he returned his pristine crooked grin. Everything felt wonderful until I looked at the clock.

"It's ten o'clock!" I nearly shouted, jumping up much too fast for my blood flow to catch up with me. If I left in fifteen minutes, I could make it to school during lunchtime and make an excuse that I felt unwell for the earlier part of the day. Light-headed, but determined not to miss my afternoon classes at least, I tried to throw myself from the bed to get ready. Edward's arms were there to catch me before I even moved two inches from the spot I'd been laying in.

"School was cancelled," he explained very simply, plainly trying very hard not to laugh at me. Scowling at his amusement, but confused at the cancellation of school in the middle of April, I just looked at him like he was crazy. Taking pity on me, he moved us to a sitting position against the headboard and went on to explain, "Some of the buildings were flooded after last night's storm and the electricity is out all over the campus."

"Wow," was all I could think to say at first. Forks High was old enough to leak from every corner; I was surprised it hadn't flooded many other times before now, although the rain was rather heavy. And the electricity – well that, too, was old enough to have gone out long ago. What a lovely little school system…

When I though about it further, I was quite relieved to imagine the downpour outside mixed with the wildfire up in Beaver. "Hey! What happened with the fire in Beaver? Do you know how Charlie is?"

"Charlie is fine," Edward reassured me softly, smiling sympathetically. "The fire didn't last as long as they thought it would; they had… unofficial help, you could say."

Maybe it was just me, but I couldn't help noticing a certain sarcasm and relief in Edward's voice and features. Did he mean the rain or help from a nearby town?

"Was it the rain that helped?" I asked suspiciously. Why did I feel like he didn't mean that?

"The rain doused the last of it, certainly," he hedged rather obviously, shifting a bit awkwardly.

"You don't mean the rain, do you?" I surmised, nodding now.

Edward sighed in defeat. "No, I don't."

"Well?" I asked him plainly, one brow raised in expectation. He didn't look particularly happy to be divulging whatever he was about to.

"Esme, Alice, and Rosalie were not out shopping last night."

Such a simple phrase should not have caused me to freak out in any way. But I knew Edward was not randomly stating this fact. He was telling me his mother and sisters had used their girls night out as a ruse, while they had gone out to eliminate the fire before it could become a real problem. Whether they were protecting their mates and family with the ruse or Alice knew the three of them would be enough to help, I would probably never know.

"Oh, no," I gasped. Over or not, the thought of the three women dousing a fire – the only way to truly destroy a vampire – made my skin crawl. What if they had gotten caught with the flames? It was so dangerous!

"What was she  _thinking_?" I couldn't help bemoaning the situation out loud, covering my face miserably with my hands. I knew Alice was the one who had decided to go; she would have seen the fire and its potential damage. She would have wanted to stop it ahead of time.

"Well, to tell you the truth, they didn't plan it at first," Edward began to admit rapidly, probably in an effort to  _make_  himself tell me that which may frighten me. He likely wanted to do it while he had the nerve; do it before he changed his mind and believed me to be better off not knowing. "Esme had been planning to go shopping for a bed, so you wouldn't have to keep using a borrowed one. But Alice saw that another fire would start near Quilcene; one that the people there would be unable to stop. The entire Olympic Forest could have caught fire. Clearly, that is a thing to avoid. She just used Esme's shopping excuse, exaggerated it to a full-scale ladies night, and they went to head off the fire. Successfully, too, I might add."

"Do the others know?" I questioned hesitantly. He had to know who I was referring to.

"Only Emmett," admitted Edward with a troubled sigh. "He and Rosalie have no secrets about things like that."

"I guess I can't really expect Alice to tell Jasper everything, but…" My words trailed off quietly at the end.

Edward picked up his explanation again very quickly, "Alice knows Jasper would be worried, even after it's over, so she isn't telling him. The catch is that Jasper can sense she's hiding something, so I can't see what good she is doing him. He is even more worried now because he feels her slight guilt and anxiety, but doesn't understand why. Now, he thinks something is waiting around the corner, like when she and you came to–"

The abrupt pause clued me into the incident he referred to, just as much as the words did. Considering what almost happened in Volterra, I couldn't blame Jasper for being worried Alice would go off and do other dangerous things like it. Edward made me fear the same thing. That was why Carlisle would have to change me. I couldn't have my Edward running off to destroy his life if I remained human and died. The very idea made me shudder inside.

Avoiding the subject of Italy seemed a very good idea, so I did just that. "Esme isn't telling either?"

I didn't know precisely why that bothered me so much, but I didn't like the thought of Carlisle being lied to in such a way. Particularly by his own wife.

"Esme has so far avoided telling Carlisle." Edward sounded exceedingly disapproving. "It's worse for him than for Jasper because even though he knows her so well, he can't feel what she's feeling, like Jasper can feel Alice's emotions."

"Does she think he'll be angry?" This confused me, if it was true. Esme should know better than anyone how gentle Carlisle would be. He would never respond with anger, especially to his lovely wife.

"Not exactly," Edward countered with shake of his head. "Upset, maybe. But I thought she knew Carlisle would not become upset with her. Very disappointed, highly worried about her safety, and perhaps a bit overprotective… However, since he is always like that, I can't understand her worry at all."

"You don't seem too angry with him right now." The comment escaped me lightly enough, but the concern underlying my words was obvious.

Taking in a deep breath, Edward appeared to steel himself against what he was going to say. "Believe me when I say," were his first words, "that I do not relish being angry with Carlisle. I hate arguing with him because he takes it so hard. And frankly, more often than not he is perfectly correct and I should listen to his wisdom. With you, though…"

As he trailed off into contemplative silence, the words lingered in my head for a long moment – in his, too, I was sure.  _With me_ … Edward's worries were based in his love for me. Difficult to shove aside as that powerful notion was, I had to do so. No matter how worried he became, my choice remained the same. Because my choice was based in my love for him, I was forced to disregard his worry and continue down the path that would only increase his tensions.

"It's difficult to say this," Edward continued quietly. Only after a lengthy pause did he go on even more quietly, "The thought of you being pushed into an immortal lifetime that my sister hates with every fiber of her being… a life where my mother has been denied her heart's desire… an existence in which my brother can barely deny his natural instincts at times… You can't imagine how painful that thought is. And for Carlisle, knowing how I feel about it, to ignore my wishes and promise you that very life – existence, whatever you call it – that was painful. I felt betrayed. I still do."

Stunned though I felt, I found my voice enough to question this unexpected outpouring from my beloved vampire. "Betrayed, Edward?"

Those words had struck a chord in me. I  _tried_  to imagine myself in Edward's place. How would I feel if Charlie chose such a thing for Edward, as a way of saving  _me_  from destruction? Perhaps I was too clouded by my own desire to be with Edward, but I couldn't imagine feeling anything, but gratitude for Charlie's decision. Didn't that kind of choice prove Carlisle loved Edward too much to lose him? It seemed impossible to find that a betrayal. And as Edward very well knew, Carlisle had a different view on the matter of a vampire's soul. How could Carlisle even remotely understand Edward's fear, if he did not feel the same way?

"You feel betrayed because your father doesn't want to lose his son?" I whispered, unable to generate any more volume than that. If Carlisle were there to hear this, I could only vaguely imagine the hurt he would be feeling.

Edward did not answer my pleading curiosity, but turned his head away from my searching gaze. I couldn't let this go. It was time for Edward to hear me out on the subject of this weekend. The constant stress was unmanageable by this point. "You feel betrayed because your father loves you?"

At that, Edward turned back to face me, an unfortunately bitter look of surprise on his face.

"Love? Because he is bringing my fate down upon  _you_?"

"Why would Carlisle even think like that?" I countered with a deep frown. "He believes that vampires have a chance at heaven, if they choose the right things. And I believe that way, too, so you can't expect me to think like you either. Everyone can't think the exact same way you do, Edward. The world would be dead depressing if they did, actually. Do you  _ever_ think optimistically about anything?"

"Rather like the pot calling the kettle black, don't you think?" Edward replied sarcastically, brows up by his hairline.

"Maybe… but if I think negatively about something," I pushed forward, still frowning, "I don't try to change other people's beliefs because of it."

Speechless, Edward did not respond. He sat blinking and silent for several moments; moments in which I absently decided I was sleeping in my clothing far too often when I visited the Cullens. Also, I needed a shower and a change of said clothing.

"Bella," Edward groaned finally and ducked his forehead down onto my shoulder.

"Just listen, okay?" I insisted with some pity on his situation. "I want to tell you about this weekend. All about the fun I had with Carlisle, the things we talked about, the things he helped me understand and come to terms with. You just don't realize how much he has given me. I have never trusted him more than I do now. You have to know that, Edward. I  _do_  trust Carlisle. And so should you."

He looked to interrupt me, but I held a finger to his pale, flawless lips until he stopped and let me finish. "It's not just you that he's thinking of. It might sound a little vain, but I know he doesn't want to lose me either. Carlisle loves me; like he loves you and your siblings. I don't really know why, but he does all the same. He wouldn't hurt me anymore than he would hurt you. He understands what will make me happy – knows that  _you_  are what I want – and he wants me to have it. If he can give it to me, he will."

Once again, Edward had no words with which to respond. This was the same old argument, but this new angle I presented had Edward stumped. He wanted me to be happy, too.

"Please," I begged him, "at least listen?"

Conflicted and still unhappy, Edward nodded jerkily. It would do for now.

"Thank you," I said, hugging him tightly around his granite neck. His icy arms coming up to encircle me in return said more than his nod of agreement had. As long as we could fix this, he was willing to try. Happy was too small a word to sum up how that made me feel.

"We can talk at Charlie's," I suggested kindly, patting his clenched jaw to encourage relaxation. "I think it'd be better that way."

"You're probably right," he agreed with a single nod and a vague smile. His jaw relaxed minutely under my touch, much to my appreciation.

"Okay, now give me my human minutes," I teased him, hoping to lighten his gloomy mood. "I want a warm shower before I brave that storm out there."

Edward laughed, much more sincerely than I'd expected, and kissed my forehead before letting me crawl off the bed and over to the bathroom. Once clean and wide awake, I found myself thinking up a dozen questions I had not had the time or coherency to envision immediately after waking. Luckily Edward was still sitting on the bed when I returned to the room, waiting for me in absolute stillness. Clear proof of his continuing anxiety over what I told him, I hoped.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" My query did not ring out as loudly as I'd thought it would. Mother Nature was doing her part to squelch normal human auditory performance.

"Nothing much," he smiled his trademark crooked grin for my benefit, I guessed trying not to seem extraordinarily perturbed as he reappeared before me.

"If what I told you is 'nothing much,' I might start getting a little worried," was my instant comeback, tinged with a tiny bubble of doubt I was unable to suppress as I looked at him.

Edward continued to grin, but a flash in his golden eyes clued me into his understanding and his true attempt to work out his mix of emotions. I almost lost my senses in his beautiful eyes, but regained myself before I could do so.

"By the way," I pushed on, glossing over the moment with unaccustomed ease, but unable to squash the bit of reprimand in my voice, "why weren't you there when I woke up?"

Here Edward looked very sheepish and reluctantly answered, "I was… uh… making you breakfast."

For a moment I stared incomprehensibly at him. Edward had never cooked for me before. I mean, I figured he would be able to cook no problem. Regardless of his belief he was imperfect, there was little Edward could not do – or learn to do – with relative ease. Still, he had never done so since I had known him. Either Esme had done the most of it, or Carlisle this weekend, or I did it myself. When I had wistfully imagined Edward cooking for me, I hadn't especially believed it would ever happen.

"You cooked for me?" I asked with an almost childlike sound of startled happiness in my voice. "Really?"

"Yes," he admitted with a remarkably shy grin. "Not that it's anything gourmet. Esme makes far better meals than I do, but I wanted to do something for you."

"Oh, well, thank you," I smiled, a tiny quirk of the lips, blushing deeply and hugging him tightly. Before I could think much on it, he was kissing me. Then I definitely did lose myself. I was barely conscious of anything outside of Edward by the time he pulled away. Gasping for air, I just held onto him while I came back to myself.

"Breakfast time for the human," he quoted himself with a laugh in his voice.

By the time I finished my breakfast – or should I say 'banquet' – an hour later, I had missed a couple spoonfuls of yogurt on the way to my mouth, put maple syrup on some of my scrambled eggs, knocked over the glass of orange juice, called my cereal 'bacon', and been given four more heart-clenching kisses that left me breathless for a full two minutes before I could get back to whatever it was I had been eating. I seriously doubted that Edward had ever laughed so loudly or so much in his entire existence or his human lifetime. The kicker was that I couldn't even reproach him. I was either lost in the aftermath of his kiss or laughing just as much with my face lit up like a stoplight.

"When do you think the school will be opened back up?" I asked after I settled on the black sofa up in Edward's room looking out at the wild rain, hoping to avoid any more embarrassing anecdotes about my breakfast mishaps. There were two incidents – which he'd teased me for – that I had not even recalled when attempting to remember them all. Dipping the toast in ketchup and spreading apple jelly on the  _actual_  bacon were not normal, apparently. Briefly, I wondered if those would come back to haunt my digestive system later and if I should check it out with Carlisle, but decided less knowledge was definitely more on that front.

"Alice says it won't be fixed until Friday evening at best," Edward offered up while putting in a familiar CD from his collection. Debussy was a regular occurrence whenever I was with him at the Cullen house. "The ongoing storm isn't going to help them with the flooding aspect, so if it keeps up over the weekend, we may even miss some days next week."

"How long is it likely to rain this hard?" I hesitantly asked. Much as I loved the days when Edward was not forced to hide away from the sun, I didn't think heavy rain was necessary all the time. Just some thick cloud cover and we were all set.

"That depends," he told me with a shrug as  _Claire de Lune_  filled the room and my ears, "but Alice sees it lasting into Saturday, at the very least. She can only see a few days ahead about the weather. So if it goes into Sunday as well, she won't know for certain until tomorrow, most likely."

"At least Charlie can come home now," I sighed in relief. "I was so worried. Fire is so unpredictable. Water can be redirected or contained, but not fire really. It just spreads."

"Yes, that's true," Edward agreed, sitting next to me. Happily, I leaned back into his embrace and laid my head down on his shoulder.

"Where is everyone?" The question had been lurking in my mind since before breakfast, but I wasn't really worried, so I had waited to ask.

"Carlisle is collecting some paperwork from the hospital. Thanks to Charlie, he got the day off to look after you," Edward explained, surprising me, then began to tick off the family members on his fingers. "Esme and Alice are sincerely going out to look at furniture, Emmett and Rosalie are spending time together elsewhere, and Jasper is saying hello to Peter and Charlotte. They were going to stay in California a couple of days, so Alice suggested he take a short trip down there to visit with them."

"I'm surprised Alice didn't go." I was, really. I didn't think she liked being apart from him, nor he from her.

"She saw that Esme would pick the wrong furniture." Edward rolled his eyes. "Alice claims she had to go in order to fix it, but I imagine she is also avoiding alone time with Jasper, so he won't inadvertently convince her to explain about the fires."

"Honestly," I frowned, but rolled my eyes along with him, "it's all in the past now. She should just get it over with. At least then  _he_  can get over it. Keeping on like this, she's just freaking him out unnecessarily."

Edward snorted. "Alice will only do it if she sees it going really well. I suppose she doesn't see that occurring yet. Or perhaps she is presently searching through so many futures that she's missing some things. I don't know, to be honest."

"Huh, I guess she could be," I conceded, knowing perfectly well that the latter explanation was probably the most believable.

A phone ringing somewhere in the lower part of the house stopped me from asking anymore questions, but I filed them away for later use. Edward and I would have some time today, it would seem. At least until Charlie came home.

"One second," Edward warned me before he disappeared from the room. He reappeared within a split-second. He came (to my great astonishment) with Carlisle at his heels. They both grinned at my shock – which only increased when I noticed how similar father and son looked just then, in spite of their unrelated bloodlines – and it took a minute to realize Carlisle was the one getting a call.

"Hello, Charlie," he spoke casually into the receiver, as if reuniting with a very old friend. "Yes, Bella is here… Of course…"

I was just able to overcome my shock in time to see Edward gesturing at himself in the negative. I knew not to mention him, though, even without his gestures. Charlie wouldn't be happy about me being relatively alone with Edward.

"Hey, dad. Are you okay?"

"I'm just fine, Bells," Charlie assured me gruffly, clearly not used to the sympathy card. "I just needed to tell you I can't get through to Forks yet. The road washed out this morning and we can't get through."

"Are you staying there, then?" I asked in surprise.

"Until they can get it fixed, yeah," he confessed with a sigh. "I don't really want to drive around the whole damn Olympic Park. Besides, frankly I can't afford the gas for that much of a drive. Forgot my money, of course. And I don't want you driving up, so forget that."

Amazing how well my father knew me, for that was exactly what I had planned to ask. The startled look on my face garnered a chuckle from Carlisle and a repressed laugh from Edward. "Okay. No driving around the Forest. Got it."

"I'm going to help with some rebuilding while I'm here," Charlie suggested simply. Of course he would help out; that was how he was. And I couldn't help but laugh at the fact that this downpour wasn't likely to stop any type of rebuilding efforts. People were used to it everywhere on the Olympic Peninsula. "A couple of the homes have been burned down pretty badly or in a couple cases, completely. Few enough hands around this place. The least I can do is lend two good ones while I'm here."

"All right," I smiled, even though he couldn't see me. "Don't fall into any landslides or anything. Just be careful."

Charlie snorted disbelievingly, but promised in his own way, "Always am. Now, I want you to stay with the Cullens until I come back. Carlisle said it was all right. I trust him to take care of you, so you listen to him."

I couldn't help smiling proudly and knowingly at the blonde vampire across from me, who looked rather embarrassed, but pleased all the same with Charlie's trust in him. Edward's face softened a little at Charlie's kind, honest words. I could see Carlisle's affection for me might be winning out over the so-called betrayal. One could only hope that Edward would grow up about this and accept what his father was trying to do for him and for me… for us.

"I'm going to let you go, Bells," said Charlie, "Be good, all right?"

"Sure thing, Dad," I agreed easily and then the line went dead.

Edward's room became a place of pure tension afterward. I still held Carlisle's phone in my hands, but he made no move to take it back. Both he and Edward stood stock still, neither acknowledging the other nor turning away. After the third time I noticed one of their eyes flash toward the other, I decided enough was enough.

"Well, no Charlie and no school," I said into the silence of Edward's room. "Must be my lucky day. Or maybe my lucky weekend, period."

Carlisle laughed lightly and accepted his phone back from me. "I'll be in my office," he explained with a tight smile, before exiting the room in a barely-visible blur of movement. Heaving a sigh, I slouched into the black sofa wearily and watched the doorway with long-lingering worry over my vampire family's disparaging troubles.

Edward moved to sit back beside me after another few beats passed. The slightly tense set of his shoulders informed me that he was back to his contemplations about our future and his father. I chose to remain diligently and respectfully quiet as Debussy played on in the background, leaning on Edward's hard shoulder and allowing him these moments of near-silence from the oftentimes wearying thoughts of others around him.

* * *

 


	4. Refractory

Disclaimer: I do not own nor make profit off of _Twilight_. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer and Summit Entertainment, etc.

A/N:I don’t see this as changing Stephenie Meyer’s canon storyline really, so I wouldn’t call it AU, per se. The events might conflict with a fewminorplot details from SM’s universe. Characters may be a touch OOC at times.

Edward never really 'freaked out' after New Moon and the vote, so I figured he should get the chance. Everyone needs the chance to have a meltdown when things go wrong, don't they? Bella had a meltdown for a whole book, after all.

The title of this chapter means "obstinately resistant to authority or control." And again, I have no actual knowledge of medicines or medical procedures.

> **Chapter 4: Refractory**

All the while Edward lost himself in thought, Debussy spurred my own mind to reflect upon what issues I had to address when we headed over to Charlie's house. A lot of things would need to be discussed and I wasn't sure how long Edward's patience would hold out once he realized all of the slightly darker aspects Carlisle and I had talked about. No matter what happened, I wanted and needed to get everything out, particularly my feelings about all the topics, before Edward lost his cool.

A couple of things were simply impossible to tell Edward about. The state I would be in after the transformation was one of those things. And I certainly could not tell Edward about my nightmares. He would blame himself for the rest of the century if he knew about them. Unfortunately he already knew about the Volturi nightmare I'd had in the wee hours on Monday. As for the rest, he just wasn't going to know about them.

Other than those particular items, there was a lot to discuss. How I was going to organize all of it seemed like a wild impossibility, but I was going to try nonetheless. I could go according to days or possibly according to subject, despite the fact that a lot of the conversations with Carlisle were kind of unrelated... Or, if I really wanted to be careful with how I went about it, I might be able to categorize by the level of toxicity any given subject would incite in Edward. From this, I would be able to determine whether Edward could handle the hard stuff first or required the easy points to mollify his temper before hearing worse information.

The long list of subjects and the hierarchy of corresponding reactions occupied my brain for a while, until I finally dozed off on Edward's shoulder, presumably from mental exhaustion. It seemed to be a dreamless sleep at first, but then I found myself listening to Edward saying, "I guessed you might call later today."

I could just barely make out what he was saying, even through the hazy fog that clung to my dream. Apparently he didn't know I was there, impossible as that sounded, or else I doubted he would be speaking quite so audibly; his voice was low, but clear.

"That just now occurred to you?" Edward sarcastically replied. Easily enough I pictured his typical eye-roll accompanying the words. Silence filled my dream, Edward's breathing and my own the only thing I heard for some time.

"Do you?" he finally said doubtfully to whomever he was speaking with. Frowning inwardly, I tried to think who might be on the other end. Alice?

"You seem rather good at that," he retorted coldly. Definitely not Alice, but _who_?

Edward sighed tiredly after a few moments and it sounded as though he deflated quite a bit. "No, he's not here," he wearily reassured the unknown person.

"I know," he told them placatingly. "Trust me, I understand that much... Yes, but... You have to understand, that's not how _she_ sees it..."

Increasingly confused, I was now very curious as to who 'she' could possibly be.

"Oh..." came slowly from Edward. His tone was particularly disturbed. "I see... Are you absolutely positive?"

Another lengthy silence filled Edward's end of the call, this one even longer than the first one.

"Forgive me," Edward said after awhile, "but I very much hope you're wrong..."

I started from sleep some time later and quickly recognized I was now being held against Edward's chest like precious cargo. A sort of desperation overshadowed the comfort of the embrace. The feeling was incredibly mild and subdued, yet poignant nonetheless.

"Bella," he prompted me cautiously. The same feeling was present in his voice and it troubled me.

"Edward," I responded a little sluggishly, but shook my self into full awareness. "How long have I been asleep?"

"Only forty minutes," he explained.

"Oh. Ok-kay," I yawned out. Chuckling at my reaction, Edward's strong arms pulled me in tighter. In the pending quiet, I stretched more comfortably across his chest and tucked my head up under his chin.

It was extremely comfortable, until, "Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think you're ready to have that discussion?" he asked tentatively, ostensibly afraid he was asking for too much from me.

"Of course!" I responded pleasantly, now awake enough not to yawn the words, and looked up at his angelic face. "You want to go now?"

"Sure," he nodded. "I know it's especially important to you."

"Yeah," I nodded solemnly in concurrence and sat up with Edward's helping hands. "Carlisle told me a bunch of important stuff."

Edward smiled a bit, but looked irritable.

"I just need a jacket and umbrella..." One swift breeze and the requested items were in my lap before I'd gotten up from the sofa. Part of me liked it, but the other part of me hated the coddling. It was a hard balance to strike. "Um... thanks, but that wasn't necessary."

Once again, Edward appeared agitated. Deciding not to make a big deal of it yet, I set the jacket and umbrella to the side before I stood up, stretching.

"Let's just tell Carlisle really quick," I suggested with a tiny smile at Edward. "I want him to know we're heading over there."

"Bella, he can hear us as we speak," Edward informed me a tad more peevishly than I felt was necessary. "You don't need to tell him anything."

"It's called manners, Edward," I retorted just as agitatedly, glaring slightly. "You know, something people from your time were _supposed_ to be raised with?"

Leaving him to flounder at that remark, I headed down the stairs of the white house. My destination was Carlisle's office and my purpose was to let him know we would be leaving for a while. I didn't feel comfortable leaving without saying a temporary goodbye. Finally reaching the closed door of the room I was heading to, I couldn't even knock before Carlisle's soothing voice bid me enter.

"Come in, Bella," he said gently, calmly, giving no hint as to what he thought of my words with Edward in the main room.

I only pulled the door open far enough to pop my head in, finding Carlisle working at a slow speed on his paperwork. Seeing him so obviously attempting to fill empty time, I felt badly for leaving him alone. "Hey. Sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to let you know we were going over to Charlie's house for a little while."

"You are not interrupting anything, my dear," he reassured me with a smile in my direction. "Thank you for telling me. Please put on something dry and warm when you get there. This weather is clearly rather nasty. I do not want you falling ill."

"I will." I laughed at his worrying, but took the suggestion to heart. Getting sick was not on my list of things to do. "And I'll throw on a blanket, too, if you want."

Carlisle's chuckle rumbled in his chest as he waved me away congenially, obviously remembering our last conversation about warmth and blankets. Edward waited at the top of the staircase, obvious in his attempt to oversee my return walk downstairs. In those couple of moments I spoke with Carlisle, Edward's irritation had not disappeared, although I could also see anticipation in his eyes.

"You're actually prepared for this?" I asked while we headed down to the first level, pleasantly surprised by his apparent enthusiasm. "I mean, you're going to keep a cool head about it all?"

"I will certainly _attempt_ to do so, yes," Edward nodded his agreement, brow slightly furrowed and his agitation more apparent than ever. (Whatever was eating at him, I hoped he would get over it before our conversation took place.)

Unhappy with the way he emphasized 'attempt', I knew I was going to have to be forceful with Edward. "Well, that's not good enough for me."

"What?" he abruptly questioned, looking stunned indeed at my blunt refusal. His eyebrows reached somewhere about halfway up his forehead. Both of us stopped in the middle of the living room.

"You have to swear to me," I explained my wishes refractorily, "that you will hear everything, that you will talk through your feelings about everything with me, and that you will not leave my side until you stop being ticked off about whatever we discuss."

"And if I refuse this vow?" he asked, all the while grinding his teeth audibly. His eyes were headed towards a darker gold, I could see. Restricting his reactions was probably not something he ever expected me to do.

"Then I won't tell you about any of it," I countered smoothly, still glaring, but knowing I had the upper hand. To mark my determination, I sat on the sofa so as to wait. "At all, at any time, ever. I won't even answer a single question you have about the weekend with Carlisle or even the past few days. I'm tired of you running off all mad about something and making people feel like horrible beasts just because you can't control your temper."

Fierce indignation simmered on Edward's face, but as much as I hated that particular expression, I knew what was more important at the present time.

"Repeat after me?" I half-asked, half-demanded and he at last sat with me. Only grudgingly did his ice-cold hand rise in a time-old gesture of oath-taking. If I wasn't so serious about the issue, I might have laughed at this absurd undertaking.

"I, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen," I prompted him firmly.

"I, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen," came his growling echo, either very angry with me or very amused.

I didn't much like either of those options, but kept on in spite of it, "...do solemnly swear on the soul of Bella Swan..."

Edward snarled loudly enough to make me jump and he was up and pacing in seconds.

"You have _got to be_ joking, Bella!" he exclaimed loudly, glancing at me in disbelief. "As terrible as I would consider your sense of humor to be, at least I could live with it! It would make sense in some maniacal way!"

After a few more rounds on the hardwood, he stopped to face me from the foot of the sofa I sat on. We ended up glaring hotly at each other, neither backing down, when I spoke again, "You're the one who's always arguing about my soul. You want to put so much emphasis on it? Then I'll do the same."

"I do it because I want to protect you!" came his half-roar. His eyes were now black and furious. "I do it because I want your soul to remain whole and untainted!"

"Then it's not something you want to break an oath over, is it?" I persisted loudly as I slipped off of the white cushion to stand with my left shoulder facing the stairs, arms crossed over my chest in a mixture of defensiveness and irritation. Mainly I was irritated because my eyes were starting to water; I did not need angry tears to make me look weak.

Out of pure frustration, Edward practically howled to the room at large, "Your soul is more important than some JUVENILE OATH!"

Truthfully, his volume was a bit frightening. If I didn't know he loved me, I might have been scared stiff. It reminded me of the night I asked for the Cullens' vote on my mortality and Edward had held my chin to keep me from talking to Carlisle about his promise.

Just when I wanted to respond, a slight noise from the stairway brought both of our heads swinging around to face the astonished Cullen patriarch.

"I didn't mean to intrude," were his first hesitant words. He floundered a bit and swallowed hard as he continued, "Edward was rather... boisterous. I was worried and rushed down, but as I stepped onto the stairs, I actually _listened_ to what you were saying... It was a bit late to back out at that point, however. You... you heard the noise... I..."

Poor Carlisle. I had never, ever seen him ramble like this; not this true, heedless babbling without considering his words. The golden-haired vampire looked so bewildered and concerned, I wanted to just shut up and stop arguing immediately. Edward, on the other hand, seemed to regain the morbidity and moodiness of earlier – only now it was multiplied tenfold. A low rumbling growl in his chest informed me Edward was about to overreact and make a serious, detrimental mistake. One I wasn't entirely positive he would be able to fix.

"Edward," I headed him off sharply, drawing his angry eyes to mine. "Don't. You. _Dare_."

A heated look filled his eyes as he glanced between me and an increasingly uncomfortable Carlisle; it was a look I did not understand in the least. Fighting what looked to be a fierce internal battle, Edward eventually slumped. His glower became fixated on his now-resigned father.

"Finish the damn oath," he muttered towards me, never taking his eyes off of Carlisle.

Infuriated by his attitude, but knowing when he would not budge, I went on with my strange vow, "Fine... do you swear on my soul that no matter what, you will hear out everything I have to say, discuss your feelings about it all with me, remain by side until I feel you are no longer bad-tempered, and not attack Carlisle for telling me?"

"That one's new." Edward's voice was awfully malicious and I could only stare at him in worry.

"Do you swear it? All of it?"

"On your soul," he repeated mockingly. Still, he wouldn't look at me. Nevertheless satisfied, I nodded once and turned to Carlisle to ensure he wouldn't run off somewhere in dejection.

"Carlisle, I want to talk to you whenever I get back. Is that okay?"

"Yes, of course, Bella," he assured me quietly, passing a quick glance my way, but avoiding Edward's threatening gaze and disappearing again. Turning back to my idiotic boyfriend, I glared at him until he huffed audibly and came to pull me out the door. It was very familiar to how he'd dragged me to the car after getting me out of gym the previous year and it was frustrating. Not to mention I tripped twice in only the three first steps. I tried to pull my arm away, but he did not relent.

"I thought this was important." Edward's sarcasm was grating and stinging. He wasn't normally like that. Something really had to be bothering him for him to act in such a way towards me.

"Not so important that you drag me around like a puppet!" I said with a deep frown, still vainly attempting to pull away and stand on my own two feet, no matter how unstable they might typically be.

"Knock it off!" I finally snapped with annoyance, trying to yank my arm away from his iron grip as we came to the front door.

"Edward!" Carlisle's voice rang out from behind us. Glancing back, I could see the stunned fury in his eyes, which were solid black to match Edward's.

Barely reacting, Edward opened the door for us to leave, but halted so abruptly I was thrown into his hard side and the backlash sent me tumbling to the floor. He was plainly too distracted to notice the grip he still had on my arm. To my eternal gratitude, Carlisle was at my side and keeping me upright, forehead wrinkled in severe concern. This appeared to downright infuriate Edward, but then his expression went far above distracted. At whatever was going through his father's mind, Edward dropped my arm as thought he'd been burned and strode off to get in the car without looking back. By the way he slammed the driver's side door, I figured he at least dented it, if not outright totaled the frame.

"Damaging the car won't fix anything," I remarked tonelessly, not really knowing what I was saying as I stared at the open front door. To add to the shock, I could hear the car come to life and the sound of the motor moving further and further away from the house. Edward had left. Just left without saying anything.

"Are you all right?" Carlisle questioned worriedly and settled me on my feet, but did not let go of my waist. "You're arm?"

Little came to mind in the way of intelligent responses, so I stuck to the basic facts. "I'm fine. Just... just..."

Shocked, confused, mad, hurt, lost...? This day was not going at all how I had hoped. At that point, I pretty much did not want to ever have the discussion with Edward. Would he even listen? To my chagrin, tears started to fill my eyes. Not the kind from anger, either.

"Bella," Carlisle breathed, his tone all sympathy. "Sit down for a moment. Let me... I... Shall I try to call him back?"

Shaking my head numbly, I allowed him to seat me gently on one of the white sofas. I could hardly think straight, though I did attempt to hold in my tears. One question resounded in my head. What was _wrong_ with Edward? There had to be a reason for his entirely irrational behavior. We had been perfectly fine before the call from Charlie. Well, before I had fallen asleep actually... A sinking sensation filled me. Had there really been a phone call? Maybe it had not been a dream, after all.

"He was on the phone with someone," I spoke aloud while staring at the floor, hoping to make some sense of the drowsy memory.

"What?" Carlisle queried, bewildered.

"When I was dozing," I went on blankly. "I thought I was dreaming, but... He must have talked to someone and... And what? What could have made him _act_ like that, Carlisle?"

Finally allowing my eyes to meet his, I found them lighter (though not much) and filled with utter pity for me. "I do not know. I wish I did. Truly, I do."

We merely sat there after that – two hurt and confused people in a family chock full of them – and made no attempts to speak. There was little else to be said and I had no more energy to contemplate what the foggy phone call had meant.

Just when I felt like curling up against Carlisle's side and crying my eyes out, something caused Carlisle's head to snap up, wide-eyed and hopeful. Stilling to see the outcome, I was disappointed to watch him rapidly deflate back into sadness.

"The jeep," he informed me with a heavy sigh. "It must be Alice."

"Maybe she knows something that can help," I commented bleakly, though all I could remember were Alice's words on the day before. He nodded, giving me a weak smile and a pat on the shoulder.

"Well, the idiot has truly done it this time," Alice's icy voice preceded her as she entered the house and shut the front door. When I saw her face on the opposite sofa, I felt the same hurt bubbling up from Wednesday and couldn't look her in the eyes.

Alice sighed, grumbled something I could not hear (whatever it was, it made Carlisle chuckle dimly), then spoke again, "Bella, I have a confession to make."

I didn't say anything, but continued to stare at my lap in silence. Gratitude flooded me when Carlisle took my hand in a reassuring hold and answered for me, "Go on, Alice."

"Everything that happened on Wednesday with Rosalie..." she began hesitantly, but suddenly burst forth with the rest of her explanation at top human speed, "Oh, forget tact! I _planned_ it Bella. I thought it would give you both some time to build up a better relationship with Rosalie, but then it didn't work out how I thought it would. I'm still not sure why it didn't, but I may never know. And you honestly picked the worst time to call later that night. When Jazz called I was still outside of the forest, but I didn't answer your phone calls because I was dealing with the damn wildfire at the time and... and... oh..."

Slowly, very slowly, I raised my eyes to lock gazes with Alice, stunned she had let that out. Was it part of a plan? But her mouth was working and nothing was coming out and her eyes were wider than dinner plates. No, this was not a plan. It was a mistake. After everything that she had been concealing, rerouting, and planning, Alice finally lost track of something.

Chancing a glance over at Carlisle, I wanted to slap a palm to my face. Needless to say he was unimaginably gobsmacked. Had his eyes gone any larger or his jaw any lower, I didn't know what would have happened. And now my hand was trapped in his frozen fingers.

"Are you telling me..." he started to say in a highly strangled voice, unable to finish. Moments passed like that until he groaned loudly. "Esme, Rose, and you... You silly... You foolish, irresponsible... Urgh!"

Considering one of the most articulate men in the world had been reduced to saying 'urgh' and slapping his forehead, I guessed he was exceedingly annoyed. Alice sat opposite him, looking undeniably like a misbehaving five-year-old, and the whole situation seemed impossibly funny of a sudden. Out of the blue, laughter bubbled up out of my throat. Hysterical perhaps, but laughter nonetheless. Clutching my stomach with my free hand, I doubled over mine and Carlisle's intertwined hands in some strange sort of humor I was incapable of stopping.

"Um... Bella?" Alice asked, quite perplexed and honestly sounding frightened for me. "Are you okay?"

Trying desperately to get a grip on myself, I repeatedly squeezed Carlisle's freezing cold hand as if I could remind myself to be serious. When the laughter turned to gasps and tears, I knew I had a problem. Double sighs of abrupt understanding flared above my bent head and within a millisecond, Carlisle had me bundled up in his arms and under his chin, my eyes belatedly focusing on the stairs.

"Sweetheart, _please_ calm down," Carlisle did his best to soothe me, rubbing my back and rocking me, but I could not be eased. Through the noise of my crying, I heard Alice talking on the phone just out of my hearing. Jasper, probably.

Or so I thought, until Alice shouted into the receiver, " _It's YOUR FAULT, you stupid fool!_ "

It _had_ to be Edward on the line. And that fact made me cry even harder. I heard something snap and crumble nearby, but was unable to identify it.

"Carlisle, let me use your phone," Alice practically ordered through a thick growl.

"My office," he informed her quietly, still doing his utmost to help me calm down. "Bring my bag down, please."

Alice never answered, but soon reentered the room and sat in front of me on the sofa, the aforementioned medical bag in hand. "Purple label?"

"No," Carlisle sighed above my head, "I prefer not to risk addiction. I only used that on Sunday because I feared she would enter cardiac arrest. The blue label will do, it is very mild."

Closing my eyes against what I guessed was coming, I was therefore surprised when Carlisle did not immediately swab my arm.

"Bella, can you take this pill?" he asked softly, kissing my head apologetically.

"Only the one, Bella," Alice assured me calmly, taking my free hand in hers. With my other one, I still grasped Carlisle's. "Jasper will be able to help you soon enough."

My face was thoroughly wet with more coming down every minute, but I lifted my head slightly to accept a sip of water and the small white pill in the doctor's hand. Swallowing convulsively, I winced as it went down hard.

"How far is he?" Carlisle asked Alice.

"Fifteen miles. After I saw Edward leave, I knew Jasper would probably be needed. I called him on my way here. Peter and Charlotte were a little annoyed with him anyway." She shrugged delicately, a little frown gracing her features. "There was a bit of trouble with the hotel manager where Jasper was staying. They explained their eyes as costume contacts, but he wasn't too sure, so they were going to... well, you know... Jasper smoothed it over instead, but they didn't much like his inaction."

"They are not used to choosing human life over vampire in those situations," Carlisle agreed, nodding against my hair. "It must be hard for Jasper to keep tensions low when he is with them."

"They can _keep_ their tensions," Alice retorted through gritted teeth. "Just because Jasper has a moral code now..."

The conversation was so absurdly unreal, so completely inhuman, and yet I would have found it fascinating under normal circumstances. This was the kind of information Edward always tried to hide from me. Anything that was too deep into the supernatural world.

Other, far less intriguing subjects passed for casual conversation between Carlisle and Alice while we waited for Jasper to arrive. When he did, I could immediately feel his ability seeping the weepy atmosphere away like a rain shower. The pill Carlisle had given me had stopped my gasping wails, but never slowed the tears on my cheeks. Now that Jasper was helping out, the trails of salty wet began to lose steam.

"Thanks, Jazz," Alice sighed in relief, "We all needed that, I think."

Before I could wonder where Jasper was, he stood beside us with his hand on mine and Carlisle's. The difference between his power when he was touching and not touching became instantaneously apparent, as now my eyes just stopped running altogether.

"Thank you," I murmured, closing my eyes just to feel the relief for a moment.

"You're welcome," came his low baritone.

"What now?" he went on to say, sounding as downtrodden as I felt.

"We wait," Alice and Carlisle replied in unison.

"For what?" I asked blearily, my eyes feeling very heavy for the second time that day.

Gravely, Alice answered, "Whoever comes home first."

Wincing at whatever she saw that made her tone of voice so utterly dire, I groaned and turned my face into Carlisle's shoulder. Shaking my head minutely over the whole rotten situation, I simply mumbled, "I hate this."

"So do we, Bella," Alice confirmed, one of many sighs escaping her. "So do we."

"Knowing your distress, I hate to bring this up," Carlisle began tentatively, but trailed off with great uncertainty.

Keeping my head exactly where it was, I encouraged him, "Go on."

"Whatever occurs later today will not be an enjoyable experience for anyone," he began again, and from his voice I could only imagine he was running an agitated free hand through his golden hair, "but if you're exhausted after the argument with Edward today, I think you will feel even less inclined to it than that."

"In other words," I sighed deeply, finally deciding to pull my head up to look at his dark eyes, "you want me to sleep again?"

"Very much so," he nodded resignedly and apologetically at the same time. "I find it hard to believe you have not worn yourself down considerably after your outburst."

"I don't know if I can." My voice was so quiet it would not have been heard by human ears.

"I could help," offered Jasper. After a pause, he mischievously added, "If you don't yell at me like the last time I tried, that is."

For one moment, I was quite confused as to what he meant, but a memory of our time in the Phoenix hotel room sprung up and I vaguely recalled snapping at Jasper that I didn't want to sleep. "Oh. Sorry. I was... well, I guess you know as well as I do."

Chuckling dryly, he said, "Yes, I suppose I do know."

"I don't mind this time," I admitted blandly. Carlisle wasn't far off the mark; I did feel exhausted. Every time I felt better about our circumstances, something seemed to go wrong. None of the three commented on my words, but I could quickly feel lethargy creeping in and my eyelids closing slowly and steadily.

No sooner did I nod off, it seemed, than a furious voice, harsh but obviously beautiful, starred in my dreams. It was most certainly not Edward's voice, nor was it even masculine in any way. The voice I heard was definitely feminine, but it was not filled with any of Esme's kindness or Alice's perkiness. It could only be Rosalie who sounded so horridly ungracious. I briefly wondered just how many times my dreams would include the arguments and tempests of my vampire family, but decided it would take too long to count.

Feeling worn and agitated by Rosalie's seemingly perpetual bad mood – added on top of all the other dilemmas – I was not in a friendly mood upon finding Rosalie engaged in a (hopefully only verbal) spar with someone just outside of my blurred peripheral vision. Even if it was a dream, the constant in-fighting was painful to watch. Turning upward with a barely-audible sound that was part-groan and part-grumble, I was startled to find myself in Edward's arms on the sofa. My dreams were so real sometimes that it scared me. Even in my imaginary world, he had returned from his wild tantrum and was holding me close. His brow was almost nonexistent because it was so deeply furrowed as he listened to the words I was still fighting to comprehend. The dream was very fuzzy still.

Slightly glazed though my eyes were, I could make out Jasper and Emmett standing off to my right, both looking uncomfortable, but Jasper looking more deadly than I was used to in recent weeks. I didn't want to know what he was feeling from the other three vampires in the room. Rosalie alone could corner the market on angry outbursts.

When the blur cleared at last, I almost wished it had not cleared at all. Rosalie just didn't quit, apparently. How on earth the blonde had ever fit into this family before Emmett was a mystery to me. Even with him here, she clearly did not present a pleasant picture with anyone, but for Esme and Emmett. Esme must have been a miracle-worker of some kind.

I did not normally feel so unforgiving toward the blonde vampire, but the previous afternoon's argument had lessened my tolerance a notch or two, even in a dream, and did not improve my feelings towards her. Nor did her show of temper – directed entirely towards Carlisle, as I finally saw – do her any favors from my perspective. How many times was Carlisle going to take the blame for life's misfortunes before she left him alone?

"Never would I wish such a thing to occur," came a reply full of weary resignation from Carlisle, whose face was especially downhearted. "Never, Rosalie."

"Ever the _sanctimonious_ one," Rosalie growled low in her chest and the sound was able to raise hairs on the back of my neck. It seemed that of anything, the blonde had been building up to this specific point most thoroughly and only now would she come straight out with it. "You would never risk losing your precious firstborn, given the choice!"

Although it was barely implied in her vague words, I sensed that Rosalie was not referring to a simple choice of Edward's life over a stranger's. No, it was so much deeper than that… She was accusing Carlisle of holding Edward's life in higher esteem than that of his other children, if ever given such a despicable choice to make.

What a way to enter the conversation, I couldn't help thinking. Even if I'd heard nothing else, I knew Rosalie was wrong just by that statement. How the perfectly beautiful vampire could come to this conclusion stumped me totally. Carlisle loved every single one of his children and would die inside if any of them were to meet their end. The thought of Edward's initial purpose in Volterra several weeks ago came to mind with a vengeance. I tried to imagine one of the others in his place and shivered violently at the thought. Even Rosalie, destroyed as Edward might have been, would kill Carlisle. Esme and the others would keep Carlisle (and Emmett, I vainly hoped) surviving, but he would never be the same if he lost _any_ of his surrogate children. The idea was ludicrous and insensitive.

It came to me in that moment... I suddenly realized I was reacting in real time to the blonde. To my stinging realization, I was _not_ dreaming. This was a very real situation.

A hot flash of anger reared up in me at Rosalie's cruel accusation, particularly seeing as it was real and not a figment of my imagination. My tongue leaped far ahead of my rational mind before I even blinked.

" _That's_ a lie!" I retorted hotly, eyes narrowed furiously at the blonde from within the grip of Edward's arms. Five heads whipped around to look at me incredulously for my outburst. Edward tightened his arms and his body tensed to spring with me – out of his sister's angry reach, probably. The fact registered dimly, only slightly toning down my attitude. "You know it damn well, but you're just too bitter to accept it. You're too selfish to see he was trying to give you the chance to live."

"I didn't want this life!" Rosalie shouted back, teeth bared and eyes wildly angry. "It wasn't a gift to take away my choice! He had no right! No right to force this miserable existence on me! _He_ was the selfish one!"

"Carlisle thought he could give you what he never had," I responded quietly, pale after hearing the blatant words of rejection spewed from her mouth. Edward's tense hands were almost molded into my arms, he was holding me so tightly.

"What?" came the violent snarl from Rosalie, disbelief etched into her features.

"He gave you love."

Before Rosalie could overcome her shock and spout more of her tirade, I continued, "When he changed you, you were given people to love you and spend their lives with you, people to appreciate you for who you really are and love you no matter what. And Carlisle gave it to you."

Bewildered though I was by Edward's apparent turnaround in attitude, the conspicuous absence of Esme, the length of time for which I had been asleep, and a mass of other unmanageable pieces of information, I ignored it all until the current debate was settled. I knew better than to think Rosalie would let this go without a fight.

It was to my absolute amazement, then, that the vampire in question merely gave me look mixed of slight pity, ultimate frustration, and intense calculation. She said not a single word more, however, and disappeared from the room.

I had not noticed in the middle of my rant, but Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Edward were frozen in surprise. It took a minute for them to pull themselves together, but when they did, Emmett gazed at me with renewed interest in his amber eyes and something akin to life, small thought it was. I didn't know precisely how my words had affected him, but it must have been good enough to bring him hope for improvement in his family.

"Bella, I will be back to talk with you. I need to have a few words with Rosalie," Edward explained slowly and quietly through clenched teeth, pinching the bridge of his nose, and I knew immediately that in spite of whatever had plagued him earlier that day and his own anger for Carlisle's broken promises, his blonde sister had crossed a line here. That line looked to be one that a Cullen simply should not cross, no matter how angry they were with Carlisle. Edward kissed me lightly, driving my confusion up about four notches higher, and then took an unnecessary deep breath to keep his composure before he slipped outside after Rosalie, Emmett not far behind.

"Would you go up and try to talk with Carlisle?" Jasper asked quietly, after an awkward pause. He must have been certain of Carlisle's distracted state to talk so plainly where the other vampire could easily hear. "I've no idea if he'll even listen to you, but it's possible that he might."

"What do I say?" I questioned nervously, unsure of what exactly would help the most.

"I don't know," the lean vampire answered me with a sigh. "This isn't something that anybody – except Emmett – can change Carlisle's mind about. You can only try to keep him from overreacting, really."

"Why Emmett?" I asked. Nothing was making sense now.

"Let's just say he wonders if Rosalie's assumptions might be correct, to some extent," Alice interceded delicately.

"What?" I yelped all too loudly, gaining warning glares from both vampires. Quieting down, I quickly ascertained one thing with deceptive calm.

"Where's Emmett now?"

With a tiny frown, Alice zoned out for a moment and came back to say, "Just outside. I think he heard what Jasper said about him and decided to listen."

Not bothering to reply, I scowled, marched (slipping only once, it may be said) over to the front door, wrenched it wide open, and furiously shouted, "EMMETT CULLEN!"

Alice and Jasper had to stifle their sudden snickers and snorts behind their hands, although they were rather unsuccessful. Emmett came inside, looking somewhat abashed. He had obviously still been listening in.

"Over there," I demanded fiercely, pointing at the sofa with a steely finger. The burly vampire followed my instruction instantaneously while Jasper and Alice still laughed themselves silly. I couldn't even reprimand them because I knew it must have felt good compared to the testy emotions running between us all. Rather than speak further, I acted on the idea that had flown into my mind a moment prior and reached into the same side table that housed the pad and pen I used to write Jasper a few days earlier.

On the pad I scribbled a brief instruction.

**_Head out, but stay close to the house. And LISTEN._ **

Emmett didn't appear to understand why I was not scolding him. Amused, I just handed over the first page from the pad of white paper. Comprehension crossed his face and he nodded before doing as I had asked.

"Is that all?" queried Jasper, plainly lost after that strange scene.

Alice interrupted once more, "Yes, now Bella is going to talk with Carlisle." She patted Jasper's confused face lovingly and dragged him to the door as well.

"I'll try," was all I could promise to their retreating backs, already anticipating a very emotional discussion with Edward after this talk with Carlisle. Pushing the thought of that hurdle away, I quickly stumbled upstairs to the office I had been visiting so often during my recent stays.

The door was closed, but even if Carlisle refused to admit me, I was going to go in there. Although, if he locked the door... Concerned that it might cross his mind, I made a snap decision to just walk in. My unmannerly appearance in the office hadn't even appeared to faze the man sitting in abject misery.

The golden-haired vampire's pose matched the exact one he had taken on the night Edward nearly confronted him out in the woods. Vulnerable and conflicted described the Cullen patriarch perfectly. Exhaling forcefully in an effort to dispel my doubts, I stepped up to the desk and perched precariously on the edge. Miraculously, I did not fall off or knock any of the desk's objects to the floor. Carlisle never even glanced toward me, not that I could see at least.

"Has she always felt that way?" I finally asked, keeping my voice low.

Shaking his head against his hands, he murmured, "I have no way of knowing, but I can only imagine that it is so. And poor Emmett... I do not know how or when I gave him that impression, but it pains me to think I ever did anything to make him believe that."

A great deal more must have happened before I had woken up and so effectively ended the argument with Rosalie. She must have said something about Emmett agreeing to her accusations.

"I don't think you did," I countered him soothingly, willing him to understand how Rosalie's bitterness had tainted Emmett's views. "Rosalie thinks a lot of things that aren't true. It must be hard for Emmett to believe she's wrong."

"But to believe..." Carlisle choked a bit on the words, then stopped attempting to speak, shaking his head again in despair.

"You love everyone in your family," I told him assuredly. "Obviously you would never want to lose any of them."

"Of course not!" Carlisle fervently concurred, finally lifting his head to glance at me. His eyes were watery, the extent of what a vampire's body could produce for tears. "I would _never_ choose one over the other! They are all special to me. If given the choice between two of my children, I would sooner offer myself in _both_ their steads!"

Shivering at the horrendous implication, I hoped vehemently Emmett, wherever he was, really listened to what had been said.

"Don't say that," I inserted fearfully, voice soft, reaching out for his cold hand. "Please, just don't say that."

"It is the truth," he persisted equally as softly, giving my hand a light squeeze and looking back down at his desktop. "Perhaps with effort, I will be able to convince Emmett of it."

"Emmett is listening right now," I confessed in a whisper.

Carlisle's head snapped up abruptly, staring at me like I had just yelled 'April Fools!'

"I knew he had to hear you say this." There was no way I would apologize for it, not when it would help them heal.

"I really did," came Emmett's voice, low but somehow renewed, from the doorway.

"Emmett, you must believe me," Carlisle insisted gently, the expression on his face pleading as he looked toward his burly son.

"I do, Dad," Emmett confirmed, voice undoubtedly sincere.

Glancing over my shoulder at last, I offered the big vampire an encouraging smile. It was one he barely returned, but he was trying. Maybe Emmett had not recovered even halfway yet, but he was going to get there one day soon.

* * *

 


	5. Ruffled

Disclaimer: I do not own nor make profit off of _Twilight_. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer and Summit Entertainment, etc.

A/N:I don’t see this as changing Stephenie Meyer’s canon storyline really, so I wouldn’t call it AU, per se. The events might conflict with a fewminorplot details from SM’s universe. Characters may be a touch OOC at times.

In case you didn't know, a cougar is also known as a mountain lion. I never knew that until I read a fic that mentioned Edward's favorite being cougars. It confused me, since I knew SM had said 'mountain lions' in the book, so I looked it up and voile! Confusion erased.

> **Chapter 5: Ruffled**

With father and son finally coming to an understanding, I figured I was no longer needed to keep them going. The sun vainly attempted to break through the clouds as I moved to the door, when the deeper of the two voices called out, "Wait, Bella."

Turning around, I came face to face (well, as near as I could get, anyway) with Emmett's uncertain expression.

"Yeah?"

"Uh, thanks," he said, gesturing vaguely between him and his hopeful-looking father, "for this."

"No problem, Emmett," I assured him, pink in the face. "I'm going to... talk to Edward now, okay?"

"About what happened today, I hope," Carlisle inquired, a glint in his eye that I associated with disappointment. I wondered what bothered him the most about Edward's earlier behavior, then rapidly decided I was probably better off not knowing.

"Unfortunately," I agreed, then grimaced at what I knew was going to occur shortly. If Edward had been that mad earlier, then he wouldn't feel all that great about it now either, would he?

"Want me to knock the stuffing out of him?" Emmett interceded with all seriousness, frowning deeply.

"Emmett!" Carlisle scolded mildly, trying very hard not to let his amusement show. I had no such issues, however, and my laughter bubbled over freely. Emmett wasn't joking at all and I would never want him to beat Edward up, but it was still funny – and very sweet, I had to admit – for him play the part of the protective big brother.

"He can hear you right now," was my response, still smiling. "Doesn't that kind of ruin it?"

"Nope," came a cheery, familiar voice from directly behind me. Whipping around to see the face that matched the voice, I was surprised at the ill-concealed glee in Alice's features. "Edward can't hear a thing right now. He and Rosalie are out quite a ways, arguing as usual."

At Emmett's worried look, Alice waved him off, explaining, "Jasper is playing referee."

Appearing infinitely more reassured, the burly vampire settled back down into one of the chairs in front of the desk.

"So I have to wait," I confirmed, sighing resignedly and sitting right down where I was just standing, leaning my forearms on my knees. "Just what I wanted."

"You won't be waiting long," said Alice, taking a seat on the floor beside me with her legs crossed. "Rosalie isn't as mad as we thought she would be and Edward is pretty much tired of listening to her."

"If I am going to listen to  _you_ , I may as well be able to see you," Carlisle commented with slight humor and moved to sit in the chair next to Emmett's. Pleased by the upsurge in the patriarch's mood, I smiled at him, to which he returned a smaller one.

"Anyway," Alice went on, "I thought Emmett knocking the stuffing out of Edward was a good idea."

"I don't want him beaten up, Alice," I argued with a sudden frown. Emmett looked supremely let down.

"Nor do I," added Carlisle sternly.

"Just  _one_  throw-down?" Alice pleaded, pouting childishly. "Please, Bella?"

At my scowl and Carlisle's firm 'No!', she lost the pout immediately and turned quite vicious in a mere second. "Oh, come on! You can't tell me he doesn't deserve a knock on that thick head of his."

"Why?" I questioned, annoyed.

"Because he was a fool," she huffed and crossed her arms. "You should have heard him on the phone today... Acting like a complete baby about you making ' _such a big deal about Carlisle_ ' and all this other idiotic junk."

"He said  _what_?"

"Yes," Carlisle confirmed, rubbing his forehead wearily. "He had some... discrepancies with my influence over you."

"Discrepancies with your influence?" I queried dubiously, eyebrows rising higher every minute. "What does that even mean?"

"It means Edward is an idiot," Alice informed me matter-of-factly. "And you're going to figure it all out after you talk with him."

"Alice," I sighed heavily, "I have only one question."

"Shoot," she prompted me, turning around in a lightning-fast movement to face me.

" _When_  are you going to stop calling Edward an idiot?"

At that, Carlisle chuckled and Emmett actually cracked a small smile.

"When he stops acting like one," she informed me through narrowed eyes, her voice particularly sniffy.

Considering the matter for all of a minute, I finally took a deep breath. Turning to Emmett, I asked, "You could get around his gift?"

Carlisle just sighed in exasperated surrender.

Thirty minutes later, three o'clock was loudly welcomed by the front door slamming open and shut. Slamming may actually have been too mild a term with which to describe the incredible force behind the movement, but I didn't have time to think of a better one before the vampire was in our midst. Expecting an angry, glaring Edward to fly into the room, I was kind of stunned to see Jasper halt in the doorway looking positively violent. Alice popped up so fast I could hardly see it happen and pulled her husband close. Closing his eyes, Jasper embraced her in return and seemed to deflate just enough to control himself. Where his eyes had been wild and black upon entering the room, they were back to amber (though still a bit wild) when he opened them again.

"Tempers flying?" I asked depressingly, chin in my hands. I was now sitting beside Emmett on the leather sofa in front of Carlisle's window wall. Why we had navigated to that particular spot in all the room, I couldn't have said. It just sort of happened, the same as Alice had seemed to pop up without thinking onto the desk near Carlisle in his office chair. My best friend's cheery inspection of the objects atop her father's work surface had made me grin widely during our thirty-minute interlude; Carlisle had even chuckled frequently.

"You have no idea," Jasper replied darkly and Alice rubbed his arm comfortingly with her head against his chest. "I'm sorry Emmett, but I had to leave while they were still arguing. Those two spit as much as pair of angry cougars."

"Fitting," I remarked dryly while Emmett pulled even further into himself than before. "Edward would appreciate it in a better mood."

Jasper only snorted, but Emmett gently nudged my shoulder with his elbow. From the approving look on his face, I guessed he liked the fact I was making jokes when he didn't exactly feel like it.

"Are they coming back?" I asked apprehensively. Seeing Rosalie again when she was in such a terrible mood was not on my agenda.

"Only Edward, in about five minutes," Alice informed me graciously. "Rosalie wants some alone time."

"Oh," was all I could say in response, considering Emmett had sighed so disconsolately. So I had ten measly minutes to prepare for my hysterical debut with Edward? That certainly did nothing to ease my anxiety.

"We'll all be around," Jasper told me abruptly. My emotions must have been driving him nuts. "And believe me when I say Edward's come around. He doesn't believe all the tripe he did this afternoon. Why he believed any of it in the first place is still a mystery, but..."

"Aw, Jazz!" Alice pouted at him severely and pulled away, to which the honey-blond vampire appeared blindsided. For my part, it was all too easy to guess what my best friend was upset about.

"What did I do?" Jasper asked me, seeing as I rolled my eyes in response to Alice's remark.

"She wants Emmett to beat Edward up," I told him frankly. "You just eliminated the reason behind it."

"Alice!" Jasper sighed in complete exasperation, even disentangling himself from his wife. That was a bit odd, but I chose to not question it.

Seeing his attitude was not sympathetic to her 'plight,' the tiny vampire dropped her pout, irritation dancing in her eyes. Matching her gaze head-on, the southern vampire did not reply.

In the end, Alice was the one who turned away and muttered, "Spoilsport."

Carlisle looked heavenward as if to obtain life-altering guidance, making me laugh and Jasper snicker, although I had to admit his was not a very happy sound. Not having seen the doctor's move herself, the pixielike vampire glared icily at the two of us.

Downstairs, the door opened and closed again, infinitely quieter than Jasper's rousing entrance, causing every person in the room, even Alice, to tense up. Emmett glanced my way, but I shook my head in the negative. If Edward had truly realized the flaws in his judgment this afternoon, then no one was going to bit hitting him, regardless what I had agreed to earlier.

"Looks like you're up to bat," Jasper teased me lightly, but there was some sympathy in his face, mixed with a hefty bit of unhappiness that strongly bothered me.

"Thanks a lot," I groused halfheartedly and stood up stretching, wondering why Edward was not in the office yet. He should have been in there about thirty seconds prior or something along those lines. Alice and Jasper moved out the doorway first – not even holding hands, I noticed – the former pointing me towards the stairs going up. Nodding my reluctant gratitude, I followed the indicated directions and made my slow, uneven way to Edward's room.

As I imagined, he was sitting cross-legged on his black sofa, looking exceedingly uncomfortable and disgusted, glancing up at me with a guilty expression on his perfect features. Several times, he seemed to almost reach out his hand for me to take, but then drew back. Sensing his indecision, I came to sit on his left side, though much more stiffly than usual; there must have been about six inches between us. The memory of earlier that day was not easy to dispel. He had practically dropped me on the floor, after all.

Eyes riveted to my tightly-entwined fingers where they lay on my thighs, I didn't even know where to begin. When the tension grew to unmanageable levels, I finally said, "So."

That was all? I couldn't help thinking. Was that really the extent of my intelligence? There were half a billion things running through my head at that moment and all I could say was 'so.' Maybe, as Edward was so adamant about, him reading my thoughts would be a good thing occasionally.

"So..." Edward echoed softly, nearly too quiet for me to hear his velvet voice.

Having grown to expect a far more verbose response from my opinionated vampire boyfriend, I felt slightly more peevish than a moment before.

"Great conversation," I complained through gritted teeth. "If that's all we're going to say, then I may as well go back and talk with Carlisle and Emmett."

Wincing at the implication that I did not want to spend time with him, Edward pushed himself to say, "I was under the impression you would have some... pointed words for me."

Lost as to his meaning at first, I made myself think deeper on the hidden conjecture and came to the understanding that Edward thought I was going to lay into him the moment he came back from talking with Rosalie. My peevishness lessened a minute amount, although definitely not entirely.

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't," I replied caustically, feeling a little badly when he flinched, but remembering his actions that day held back my sympathy somewhat. "I think I deserve an explanation of this afternoon, don't you?"

Edward sighed from the depths of his throat, a touch of sadness and a host of regret coloring his tone as he answered, "Yes, you certainly deserve that. I owe you the utmost of apologies, as well, but I'll save that until you understand what was wrong with me earlier."

Waiting on tenterhooks for the very explanation he offered, I flashed a quick glance at his features from the corner of my eye and couldn't help noticing the lingering regret on his godlike face. Against my will, I began to soften towards him a bit more as he resumed speaking. "When you were napping earlier, I received a phone call–"

"So I  _wasn't_  dreaming!" I interrupted suddenly, glad that I wasn't losing it. Edward looked completely astounded that I had heard his phone conversation.

"Clearly not," he assured me, face still fresh with surprise, which he shook his head to dispel. "It showed–"

Pausing as abruptly as when I'd cut him off a moment ago, Edward flashed to retrieve something and then returned to my side, scribbling frantically with a pencil on what I now saw to be a notebook. Passing on the notebook and pencil a mere second or two later, he waited patiently for me to read his note.

**_The phone showed Esme's number, so I immediately picked up. But it wasn't Esme, it was Rosalie. She knew I wouldn't answer if it was her number, so she borrowed Esme's phone._ **

Edward must have known that I would question the second part of his note, else he wouldn't have handed over the pencil for my use. Shaking my head and marveling that he really did know me so well, I wrote back.

**_I know you and Rosalie don't get along, but why would you ignore the call if it was her number? What if it was an emergency when you refused to pick up?_ **

"First of all, it wasn't an emergency," he murmured very quietly, shaking his head and reaching for the pencil that I had unknowingly kept in my hand. Handing it over, I watched in awe as he fleshed out three paragraphs in all of a minute and returned the notebook to my lap.

**_Second, I don't normally ignore Rosalie's calls. I only did so today because of something that happened very early this morning, while you were still asleep. I will say this much... Rosalie made some underhanded remarks about Carlisle that were very untrue. As hard as it may be to believe, I was not in agreement with her. I'll explain the whole situation later, if you are still willing to discuss things?_ **

Looking up at Edward's apprehensive face intently after reading that sentence, I could see he was truly and sincerely repentant for what he had done. I knew I couldn't deny him this conversation when he now felt such a genuine need for it. Sighing my acceptance of this fact, I continued onto his second paragraph.

**_At any rate, when Rosalie called, she eventually began to insinuate that your interactions with Carlisle revolved too much around what he wanted. She even claimed he was controlling you too much and you were favoring his decisions over mine. I wouldn't normally have believed her so quickly, but she twisted every little connection between you and Carlisle. She made it sound as though he manipulated you for one reason and one reason alone... to keep me from going to the Volturi after your human life ended. If those were his intentions (rather than a belief that this life was what is best for you), then I didn't want it to be that way. Like a fool, I fell for everything Rosalie said._ **

Had I even imagined this kind of scenario when I'd heard Edward's phone call earlier in the day, I would never have believed it was real. To think Rosalie was capable of such senseless manipulation, all while accusing Carlisle of that very thing... She must have hated him terribly for changing her. No other reason made sense.

Something else about Edward's note drew my eye like sunshine glinting suddenly off of metal.  _'...you were favoring his decisions over mine,'_  he had written. So he believed, even if only for a little while, that I put more stock in what Carlisle had to say?

Incredulous at what I rapidly uncovered about Edward's earlier reactions, I could only breathe my words in stunned disbelief as I stared over at his beautiful face. "Edward Cullen... You were  _jealous_."

Appearing more uncomfortable than was humanly possible to be, Edward might as well have been blushing as red as I usually did.

"I can't believe it," I kept on muttering to myself, blinking and unable to process it properly. "You. Jealous. Of my trust in Carlisle... Unreal. Totally unbelievable."

"I know it was utterly insane," Edward hissed testily, expression furiously humiliated yet somehow still defiant.

"You can say that again," I retorted, the surprise finally fading enough for me to think clearly.

"For the love of... Edward what is  _wrong_  with you?" I demanded loudly, glaring at his pinched face. "Do you honestly think that little of my intelligence? That I would be swayed so easily? You ought to know firsthand how stubborn I am. Then to think so lowly of Carlisle... And for heaven's sake, Edward, I've been turning to Carlisle so frequently because the rest of you are apparently just plain  _nuts_! Argh!"

Newly infuriated over all that had transpired behind the scenes, how cruel Rosalie was, and how stupid Edward could be, I jumped up with a slight stumble and began pacing the room, ignoring the helping hands that tried to steady me. My agitation never seemed fully vented, but the pacing helped me to not do something rash... like hit Edward and therefore break my hand. A thought came to mind again at that moment, a way around my breaking a hand, and I just went with it, not thinking all that clearly at first.

"EMMETT!" I shouted full-volume towards the closed door, startling and confusing Edward at the same time. Standing warily, he made a halfhearted attempt to calm me down, but gave up at my icy stare with a heavy sigh.

"Yeah, Bella?" Emmett questioned, now at standing in the doorway and sounding vaguely delighted he was possibly going to be given his chance.

"Wait a moment," I commanded, ending my pacing with arms crossed and a frown on my pale features aimed at my bronze-haired vampire, who was still looking at Emmett in confusion. I really didn't want to do this, even after hearing the ridiculous tale first-hand, but I was just so tired of it all. Maybe a change of pace would help... "If you move one step past the doorway before I say so..."

"Whatever you say," Emmett agreed seriously, barely entering the room with a mild scowl for Edward, who looked undeniably bewildered as to what was even going on. Jasper and Alice appeared in the doorway behind their burly brother, Alice tamping down a smug little smile so hard that it must have hurt even her nearly-invincible vampire jaw muscles. Now Edward really got confused, both brows raised to his hairline. His honey-blond brother was not nearly as confused and nowhere near as enthusiastic as Alice. In fact, Jasper looked a bit downtrodden about it all, which swiftly began to make me feel like this was the wrong thing to do. I had only yelled for Emmett out of frustration with Edward's earlier behavior (along with all the rest of the sickening circumstances), forgetting that vampires moved so much faster and that I had no time to reconsider before Emmett was standing there expectantly.

"Really, this is unnecessary," Jasper dared to say in the tense silence, voice quiet and even unhappier than before. "He doesn't even believe any of it now. You may as well be punishing him for all of his past transgressions."

While these words fell on me like heavy bricks, Alice opened her mouth to argue, but Jasper stopped her with a single look I had never seen him direct towards his wife before. Edward no longer looked confused. It was plain as day on his face, he knew what Emmett was ready to do without ever reading his mind... what I was about to  _let_  Emmett do. What made it so awful wasn't so much this particular fact. It was that Edward didn't even look like he would try to avoid it. He seemed to have expected something like this to happen.

"Just do it, Emmett," Edward murmured so low I barely heard it, his lips almost still and his topaz eyes glued to the floor at his feet. Resigned and tired looking, he stood not four feet away from me with his shoulders slumped as much as they ever were. Jasper was right. This was unnecessary.

"No, Emmett!" I told him as forcefully as I was capable of before he moved forward, the accompanying emotion strong enough to take Jasper by complete surprise. Acclimating himself to the feeling, the southern vampire offered me a relieved smile. Emmett and Alice looked irritated, but I knew they were especially mad at Edward lately; Emmett because of Edward's attitude towards Carlisle and Alice because of his resistance to making me a vampire.

At least, those were the biggest reasons I could think of. For all I knew, there could be twenty more. This group was big on hiding deep, dark secrets from me and everyone else. Except Carlisle. Oh, I held no delusions that he had told me everything about himself. For one thing, there wasn't enough time to tell me over three-hundred years worth of history unless we did nothing else for the next decade. For another, it was not a requirement that he tell me everything of himself. Some things simply were not mine to know, family or not. And lastly, Carlisle clearly  _wanted_  to tell me everything that was considered my business. That was my most significant reason for trusting him before any of the others at the moment. Even Edward, for all that I loved him dearly, had lied and omitted a great deal. It wasn't too hard to see myself trusting Jasper as well, actually. Honesty was a trait he appeared quite capable of using around me.

"Alice, just stop," I headed her off before she could argue, not liking the look on her face at all. "How would you like it if I wanted to hit Jasper, even after you told me no?"

Stumped by that quandary, my tiny friend left the room without another word, leading Emmett to reluctantly follow her. Jasper ensured that his brawny brother was out of the room and then turned back to us, his face devastatingly severe. Gazing at Edward, he soon frowned deeply and reappeared beside the still form of my boyfriend to lay a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Get out of here," insisted Jasper. "Go and have that talk with Bella if you want. Just get out of this poisonous atmosphere for a while. It's eating away at every single one of us."

A battle of wills ensued, almost visible because of how intensely I could feel Jasper's emotional effect swaying for dominance over Edward. It took very little time to realize I had to help. Moving up to the two brothers, I laid a hand on Edward's other shoulder. The reaction was immediate; Edward stopped fighting the empathetic influence of his brother and tentatively turned to look directly in my eyes.

Agonized by the strenuous regret housed in his jewel-like orbs, I pushed every ounce of apology and forgiveness into my eyes and expression as I possibly could, coaxing him softly, "Come on, Edward. Let's go to Charlie's. Even if we just sit there with each other and don't say a word. It'll just be you and me, nothing else... Come on. Let's get out of here, like Jasper said. Please?"

My final plea, more than anything else I told him, got Edward moving at last, slow though it was. It took the utmost of the combined efforts of Jasper's ability and strength and my gentle coaxing to even get Edward down the staircase to the second floor. What he so deeply resisted was a subject on which I was very much in the dark, but I didn't dare ask while he was in such a state. As if it wasn't bad enough to have him triple his own guilt when he had made a mistake, this time just about everyone in his little world appeared to be against him.

At the end of the hall, I was mightily relieved to see Carlisle's concerned face watching our mind-numbingly slow progress from the doorway to his office. How well Edward would respond to him remained to be seen, but I was willing to take a chance on it.

"Can you help at all?" I asked, admittedly very rattled by this practically-comatose Edward I was dealing with. It was a very trying experience.

"I can try," offered Carlisle.

Considering he had conceded to help, I was therefore slightly annoyed when he proceeded to stand there silently, doing absolutely nothing. When I opened my mouth to say something, Jasper shushed me respectfully. Staring at him in confusion and then back at Carlisle, it took a minute to recognize that the doctor  _was_  doing something. Those kind eyes – blackened proof of the problems his family was trying so desperately to work through without breaking apart – focused with burning earnestness on his first son's haunted stare. Flinching back from the acute melancholy on Edward's beautiful face, I kept my gaze on the pale walls to spare my heart the anguish of that sight.

Only when Carlisle's shoulder impeded my view did I look away from the wall. To my astonishment, Edward looked quite recovered from his comatose behavior, but still unhappy.

"Maybe," Edward spoke suddenly and sharply to Carlisle, at which the golden-haired vampire backed away with a sad expression and I jumped. Edward's swift response to lay his chilled hand on my lower back removed any doubt I had as to his readjustment, yet his displeasure was not at all welcome. I felt stuck in some horrible cycle where Edward got angry with his father, I intervened, Edward ran off angrier than before, and he came back after some serious event reminded him that he was not the only person hurting.

"Are you starting that again?" I asked him incredulously, mouth hanging open ungraciously at his mercurial personality. Noticeably, he wasn't able to look me in the eye. "When are you going to understand that every time you do that, it just pushes us all further and further back? I don't know how much more I can  _take_ , Edward! You've got to stop. You have just got to  _stop_."

Angry tears were forming in my eyes and I cursed them for invading my attempt at stern strength.

A long, turbulent inhale and exhale brought my eyes back to Edward's angular face, upon which was a mask of calm Jasper could barely keep up as the bronze-haired vampire spoke, "I keep trying to hold back, but every time I do, something or someone reminds me of exactly why I'm so angry and it all snowballs to exactly where it was before I calmed down in the first place."

"If you let everything continually push you over the edge, we'll never fix any of this," Jasper inserted his opinion strongly, leaving no room for doubt. "There's enough guilt and grief going around. Don't add to it unless you have no other options."

"Do this much for me," I suggested in a murmur, gripping Edward's arm as if to cajole him. "Calm yourself now. Push away everything that is making you upset and drive us over to Charlie's house. When we get there, you'll have calmed yourself and we can talk. If you never hear me out, where will that get us?"

"Nowhere," he reluctantly confessed, briefly closing his eyes and taking another long breath to calm himself further. "And I know it. You're right, of course."

"So we're going?" I double-checked nervously. Jasper half-smiled and removed his hand from his brother's shoulder.

"Yes," Edward actually chuckled, sending me an affectionate glance. "We're going."

"Good," I sighed, slumping into his side with relief and allowing him to pull me along as he walked past Jasper, down the next flight of stairs to the main floor, and out to the garage. Before he opened the door, Edward paused and looked down at me where I was pasted against him.

"What?"

"What if we ran?" was his skeptical query. The questionable phrasing of 'we' aside, I had no troubles running with vampires now.

"If you want to," I shrugged neutrally. "It's faster and easier to hide, anyway."

Laughing lightly, Edward nodded and lifted me up onto his back, where I clung to his neck and waist firmly.

"An accurate description, if I've ever heard one," were his last words as we took off into the woods. A wall of green raced by, tantalizingly close yet never near enough to graze me.

Sooner than I could comprehend, we were at my father's house. Edward practically threw himself up the wall and in through the window of Charlie's room facing the back yard. My room felt familiar and yet not, after all the time I had spent at the Cullens' home recently.

"It almost feels strange here."

"How so?" asked Edward in a surprised tone, helping me down so I didn't risk falling flat on my back. "You live here, Bella."

"Yeah, but your place is beginning to feel an awful lot like home," I confided to him, standing on my own two feet once more.

"I'm glad you feel that way," he told me lovingly, reaching out with long fingers to brush loose strands of hair behind my ears while his eyes held me captive. Momentarily ignoring all that had happened between us and with his family, I reached up to kiss my angel with fervor. Pleasantly surprised, Edward returned my gesture wholeheartedly – or as wholeheartedly as he ever could – before pulling away.

"I missed that," was my whispered admission, a deep red staining my cheeks. Edward smiled a semblance of his crooked grin and pulled me over to sit on the purple comforter. For several minutes, we didn't even talk. Just as I had offered, we merely sat on the bed, embracing each other and once again reveling in the fact that we were together after having gone so many months without our other half.

While it was wonderful and peaceful to spend that time together, the moment came when I had to start talking. These issues would not be solved until everything was put out in the open.

"All right," I spoke up at last, moving back from his embrace with a reluctant sigh. "We've got to do this. It can't keep getting delayed."

"Agreed," he sighed as well, but a wry smile graced his features. "The floor is yours."

"My only problem is what to begin with," I added. "I can't decide whether you should hear the light stuff first or the heavier things."

Several silent moments passed while he pondered my problem. Looking thoughtful, Edward finally suggested, "Build up the stage from the beginning, so I can see exactly how it all came about. That might be easier for me to hear. If the more unfortunate parts are just splashed in my face without any preemptive explanation, I don't think I can be very understanding."

Pleased with his honesty, I nodded my acquiescence and brought memories of the previous weekend to mind. "Well, I guess I should start at the hospital then. That's where it all really started, after all."

Even with how he felt about all of this, Edward chuckled about that strange Saturday afternoon that had jump-started everything the Cullens were currently dealing with.

"You know pretty much what happened with Bailey and afterwards, right?"

"Right up to the moment when Charlie called you," he confirmed with a single nod. "After that, no more visions appeared. That was when we figured the situation was resolved, so Alice didn't purposefully go looking... But did something else happen? You make it sound like there was more to it."

Momentarily, I wondered if Alice had already started blocking her thoughts at that point in time, but I had no way of finding out for certain yet. Ignoring Edward's searching look, I replied, "More happened, but not with Bailey. After Charlie hung up, Carlisle took me to the Mercedes and drove out of town. While I waited in the car, he went and hunted in the woods. I dozed off while he was hunting and had a... dream. When he came back he woke me up and we went back to the house."

"You are sure you're not editing?" Edward clarified with a suspicious expression. "Like how bad the dream was? Perhaps a nightmare? Did he have to calm you down afterward?"

"Thought you said Alice didn't see anything else?" I reproached him, frowning crossly. There was little chance now that I could hide anything; that much I could tell.

"I don't need Alice's visions to know you," he countered easily, caressing my jaw gently. "You've usually hidden your nightmares from me since I came back. Besides, it was no difficulty to pick up on that long of a pause between words."

Knowing I was caught out, I sighed my utter reluctance and corrected the phrasing. "I had a bad dream, woke up scared, and Carlisle came back to the car around fifteen minutes later. Yes, he had to calm me down."

"I rather thought so," Edward muttered, albeit kindly. "Do go on, Bella."

"You aren't mad that he left me in the car like that?" I questioned with slight incredulity.

"Not at all." He smiled genuinely for emphasis. "I know why he did it. And he's done it before. To me, even."

"Huh?" I was really confused now. By the time Carlisle and Edward had driven in a car together, Edward had been a vampire, hadn't he?

"When I was still very new to this life," Edward went on to explain, sounding quite hesitant, but determined to tell me, "I was out hunting on the outskirts of Chicago – waiting for Carlisle to deal with the aftermath of mine and my parents' deaths and the like – and I heard the minds of four vampires. I admit, I was very curious. They were the first traditional vampires I had ever seen. In my eagerness and stupidity, I thoughtlessly talked to their thoughts rather than their spoken words. They quickly wanted me for their coven. Seeing that I was on my own, they thought it would be easy to get me to join them. Of course, I wasn't going to leave Carlisle, so I refused. It might have been to my destruction, had Carlisle not come just at that moment and warded them off. His eyes disturbed them, so they left in fear that he might have some special ability that they could not win against. At any rate, for a while after that incident, Carlisle would make me come with him whenever he needed to hunt. Even if I had already hunted, he took me along and made me wait for him, rather than sit at the house and potentially get caught alone. Very similar to what he did with you on Saturday."

There was more to this story. I could just tell from the way Edward spoke; like there was unfinished business yet to come from this quartet of vampires. What made it worse was that I could tell the rest of the story was untold because Edward had been hurt somehow and didn't want me to know. Much as I felt the need to know, I didn't ask, recognizing that it was another item Edward wanted me to be blissfully ignorant of and a question which he would not answer. Another question, however, came to mind – one I knew I would get an answer to.

"If that was the case, then why didn't  _your_  eyes frighten them?" I asked confusedly, while trying not to picture Aro's wishes for Alice and Edward, nor Edward being destroyed. Shivers ran up and down my spine at the thought. It had been so close in Volterra...

"My eyes had yet to change to a golden color," he said simply, instinctively wrapping my blanket around me – and his arms, too, after having noticed my shivering. "Are you all right?"

"I don't want to think about you being..." But I could not finish the dreadful thought. Surely he understood what I meant.

"It's all right now," he assured me softly, kissing the top of my head soothingly. Yes, he was right. As long as I had Carlisle's promise, then it would be all right in the end.

"I know. I still don't like hearing about it, though."

"Let's not talk about it, then," offered Edward with a smile in his voice. "Why don't you go on about the weekend, hm?"

Taking his plain advice, I swiftly began to explain, "We talked about Bailey a bit. I have to say, Bailey's full name and title doesn't have the same ring as Carlisle's. And–"

Interrupted abruptly by a snort of laughter from Edward, I looked over at him in surprise. "What?"

"You quoted Esme almost word for word," he chuckled. "When we first moved here, Esme and I attended a hospital 'tete-a-tete' with Carlisle. We met Bailey and his wife there. Needless to say, Esme was not impressed by the man. Or his wife, for that matter."

"Carlisle said something about that," I laughed a little.

"It was quite amusing, really," Edward told me with atypical bright cheer. "Normally Esme is too gentle to criticize, but this time she was completely put out by Bailey's ego. Although, I have to say I agreed with her. And that was only the things he was saying out loud. His thoughts... well, nevermind that. You go on."

"Well, we were in the house at this point, of course, and..." I started up once more, but then thinking back to the serious conversation that ensued with sudden anxiety. This would not be good. "Um, promise you won't freak out? Please?"

"Am I right in assuming the next part just...  _happened_  all of a sudden?" was the dry response. The humor in Edward's tone was faintly reassuring.

"Pretty much, yeah," I confessed, turning pink more from nerves than from embarrassment. "There's no build up, no preparation for you... it was a kind of sudden suggestion... I had been looking off to the side, but when I glanced up at Carlisle again, I got dazzled. My brain wasn't working too well, so I wasn't concentrating on what I was saying..."

"Just get it out, Bella," Edward sighed mildly.

Biting my lip, I did just that. "I told Carlisle he... he looked like an angel."

Something changed in Edward's expression that I could not make sense of. Was it a flash of amusement or a spark of anger? Or was it perhaps a twinge of sadness?

"Are you...?" I tried to ask what he was feeling, but seeing as I couldn't pinpoint anything myself, I didn't know which emotion to ask about.

"Amused... but mostly sad," came the quiet confession. His eyes expressed that very obviously, when I looked into them. "I have a pretty good idea what he was thinking when you said that."

"Well, I didn't," I groaned, remembering how I had worried about it in the first few moments. "I honestly believed that Carlisle thought I was flirting somehow..."

My face burned scarlet while Edward chortled loudly and obviously.

"Oh, Bella," he said after calming down somewhat, although an irritating smile remained on his face. "You are ridiculous, sometimes."

"Thanks a lot," I muttered, causing him to laugh again.

"You're welcome," he said, grinning with less sincerity than mere minutes prior. "...Well, go on. Aren't you going to tell me how you made Carlisle happy-go-lucky again?"

I didn't like how quickly his recently-improved mood was evaporating.

"He wasn't happy-go-lucky!" I defended hotly, though my cheeks stayed a nice healthy pink. "He was upset. He doesn't have the paranoia about souls  _you_  do, but he still doesn't want to think he's damned his entire family to Hell!"

"So he  _does_  think changing you might be a bad idea on that count!" Edward jumped in with a sudden scowl, bringing a matching expression of anger to my face.

"No, he does not," I answered coldly, knowing fully well that the argument I gave to Carlisle on Saturday was never going to go over well with the vampire beside me. In some mad way, Edward would avoid it. As Carlisle had told me, Edward avoided or ignored things he didn't want to hear. No illusions clouded my mind on that score anymore. "I set him straight, fortunately. Not that you would even  _care_  what I said to change his mind."

"What's  _that_  supposed to mean?" was his heated question, a note of disbelief in his velvet voice.

"It means, Edward," I forced out through gritted teeth, "that if you don't want to change your mind about it, you will ignore any significant argument that might, just possibly, prove you wrong."

"That is untrue." This denial sounded quiet and petulant compared to his previous remarks.

"You can't even get properly angry about it," I told him pointedly. "If you really meant it, you would have either run off again or started yelling about it."

Looking away appeared to be all Edward was capable of doing in response. It would have been believable – and very easy – to stop the discussion in its tracks, but that would do nothing good for anyone.

"Seeing as you probably won't listen anyway, I'll skip that particular conversation," I went on casually. Again, there was no response from Edward, save his hands pulling at nonexistent threads in the comforter – or perhaps creating them, I couldn't really tell. Still, I labored onward, "Suffice it to say, I changed Carlisle's mind pretty convincingly about vampires having souls. After that, we edged into a discussion of me being turned. With spectacular discomfort, I might add. He even tried to convince me not to talk about it. We both knew how upset you would probably be, telling me about these kind of things. But the fact remains, Edward, that life is full of difficult things. Yet we still have to face them. Even the average human life is filled with choices that no one ever wants to make. People have to decide whether or not to take their loved ones off of life support, whether they should go through chemo or not, and half a billion other things. Those people may have a lot less of a choice than I do, but they still have to choose in the end."

Edward seemed to feel that avoiding me would be a viable option and I was forcibly reminded of what Carlisle had said. To think he was so mad that he would give me the silent treatment on such important matters. I was quite ruffled by the whole idea. Annoyed, but hurt even more so, I murmured, "So you're just going to sit there and ignore me? Is your pride more important to you than I am?"

As low a blow as it was, I had to take it. I had to have some confirmation that it wasn't how he really felt underneath it all. And it paid off magnificently.

"Bella, don't be insane," Edward snapped, and in spite of his temper and unintended insult, I felt better than I could have imagined. Sincerity filled every millimeter of his topaz eyes. That, at least, was comforting.

"Then  _please_ ," I begged him pathetically, "talk to me. I know you're mad about a lot of this, but you can't take any of it away by getting so upset. It's done and you have no way of taking away what I've learned. Can't you even  _try_  to understand how I feel about this?"

"I promised I wouldn't lose my temper," he suddenly remarked, tearing long fingers through his messy bronze hair in frustration. Feeling bad for him now, I held his free hand between both of mine. His wry smile showed his appreciation of the gesture. "But you remember what I said about things reminding me of what made me angry in the first place? This... this bit about damnation... it's one of those things."

"I have a bad feeling," I sighed tiredly, "that most of what I say  _will_  be one of those things."

A breath of a laugh, self-deprecating in quality, left Edward's lips. "Probably."

Unsurprisingly, that did nothing to make me feel any better about what was likely to come as the day progressed.

* * *

 


	6. Reflective

Disclaimer: I do not own nor make profit off of _Twilight_. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer and Summit Entertainment, etc.

A/N:I don’t see this as changing Stephenie Meyer’s canon storyline really, so I wouldn’t call it AU, per se. The events might conflict with a fewminorplot details from SM’s universe. Characters may be a touch OOC at times.

> **Chapter 6: Reflective**

"If I had known, I would have told you he was going to win," Edward informed me with quite a matter-of-fact tone of voice.

Considering his lack of generosity regarding my ignorance, I was beginning to regret having told him of Carlisle winning Trivial Pursuit in approximately ten minutes. As far as Edward was concerned, I had pretty much asked for it by playing that particular game. Admittedly, I was astounded that he hadn't immediately sided with me. Not that I required him to always agree with me, because that would make life incredibly boring, but it was uncommon for him.

"A little sympathy would have been nice," I groused halfheartedly. It was difficult to be too upset because of how much improvement Edward's mood had undergone since his previous outburst. Although it must have been easier since my subjects had taken a radical shift into lighthearted territory.

"Sorry," he shrugged in a wholly unapologetic way, a tiny grin flitting across his angular face.

"At least I won half our games of Aggravation," was my grumbling response. "And Uno... Well, once anyway."

To the latter remark, Edward really did grin, although not quite crookedly as I hoped.

"Did you know Carlisle is a chef in disguise?" I commented suddenly, remembering the banquet-like dinner I enjoyed on Saturday evening after that final game of Uno.

"You know about that?" Edward asked in surprise, eyebrows lifted slightly.

"Well, yeah," I replied confusedly. "He cooked for me most of this weekend. Didn't you know?"

"No, not at all. I thought you cooked for yourself or got takeout," was his blunt confession. Blinking somewhat owlishly, he went on to say, "Though, to be honest, I didn't even know Carlisle  _could_ cook. Not until this morning."

"He hasn't always?" I queried.

"Never." Edward shook his head negatively. How strange. "He told me it was because of you that he learned."

This was a step above even Carlisle's normal generosity. "Wow. Just for me?"

"I certainly assume so," Edward nodded with a little smile for me. "I can't think of any other reason he would learn."

"Did Esme cook before I came?" The question came to mind when I realized that no one had  _needed_  cooking until I came into the family. They were vampires, for heaven's sake!

"Oh, yes. For school bake sales, hospital events, sick neighbors and co-workers... All in all, just the usual cooking a wife and mother might do in the community. There was a lot more of it before the sixties, but Esme always found a way to make something in spite of the lessening need. Cooking is something she finds enjoyment in. Not as strongly as in designing, but still potent."

"That's good." I smiled. "I wouldn't want her to feel put upon when she makes things for me."

"Bella, almost every member of my family enjoys doing things for you." Rolling his eyes, Edward added, "It's something we don't normally do, seeing as we're not human anymore."

"Hm," I hummed noncommittally.  _Almost_  every member... He didn't need to tell me which member was not included in that count. "Anyway, after dinner Carlisle took me out to the glade and we watched the sunset. It was amazing. I've never seen it like that here in Forks. Plus, we got the benefit of a clear night sky."

"You must have thought the world was ending," Edward teased.

"No," I said defiantly, but then paused with a blush creeping up on my face. "...Just that it was out of orbit."

Ringing laughter echoed in my ears for a few moments and I couldn't tamp down my answering grin. Edward was beautiful all the time, but especially when he was in a good mood.

"What's your favorite constellation?" I asked. Remembering Carlisle's favorites as Leo and Chameleon made me smile. I would have to think about my own favorites. I'd never given it much thought, really, but I got the feeling it wouldn't be easy to choose.

A reluctant confession escaped Edward that made me wary. "Eridanus and Cygnus."

To my knowledge, Eridanus and Cygnus weren't particularly famous mythological characters. In fact, until that moment I had never even heard of them. "Why those?"

"They're different from all the usual ones," he shrugged, but the gesture was too stiff. No doubt there was an unhappy story leading up to this choice of constellations.

"The usual ones being what? Leo or... oh, say... Chameleon?" I queried with innocent curiosity. My motives were all but innocent in asking such a question.

"Yes," he agreed plainly, but with relief that confused me. One thing pleased me; for once, I seemed to be lying well. Edward did not seem to realize I had also asked Carlisle about the stars.

"Funny thing," I commented casually. At his bewildered look, I continued. "Carlisle likes those two just fine."

Therein lay my true curiosity and the real reason I had asked the former question. Edward swallowed uncomfortably.

"Are those Carlisle's favorites?" he hedged, turning even more discomfited.

"Yes," I answered simply.

"I didn't know that," he replied, glancing down at the comforter.

"Is it your plan to do everything in rebellion of Carlisle?" I persisted quietly.

"Bella, truly. I didn't know those were his favorite constellations," Edward countered just as quietly, looking back up at me with pure honesty in his gaze. "We've never discussed it before. And I've never heard it in his thoughts, either."

"We were talking about Leo and Chameleon when Alice called," I sighed, letting the subject go.

"The wolves," Edward growled darkly.

"Yes," I whispered tightly. Anger was fully understandable this time. The whole thing continued to upset me, as well. To know that Jacob could be so cold and the pack so willing to hurt someone, even after realizing they had not committed any crime... I shuddered as if from a burst of cold air. Edward wrapped his arms around me tightly.

"What happened?" he queried softly now, trying his best to soothe me.

"I knew something was wrong when Carlisle tensed up," I began, the story sliding out much easier than I had imagined it would. "But I didn't understand why the wolves would be so angry. He guessed they were afraid of me being turned, after what I told Jacob a few weeks ago. Carlisle ran like the wind. When I heard them growling from the trees, I was terrified they were going to hurt him. That's why I decided to stay on his back until they left. You could tell Sam backed off because I was there. Otherwise... I don't want to think what could have happened."

My fears seemed to sober Edward considerably. Up to that point he had been solemn anyhow, but with that remark he visibly lost some of the rancor he'd been feeling towards Carlisle.

"Neither do I..." were his first hesitant words, but the floodgates opened almost instantly. "I was furious when I saw what they were all thinking. Every one of them was ready to attack. Sam and Jared may have looked calm, but inside they were ready to spring. Given half a chance, they would have. Upset as I was that you stayed in close range, it's something that genuinely saved Carlisle."

The openness of Edward's confessions blindsided me at first, but the genuine fear as he spoke of the patriarch's near-fate made me happy. It proved that he did love his father and he could forgive if only he heard all the facts. Sickening as it sounded, it really took a common enemy to unite people sometimes, even in the same family.

"If it helps, we had a much better night than we might have done otherwise," I inserted tentatively.

"You did, did you?" he asked with another of his slight smiles that told me he was not entirely happy, but wasn't sulking again.

"Pretty much," I nodded. "I had dinner, then we watched _Beauty and the Beast_. Or... okay, I watched maybe a third of it. After that I fell asleep on the couch."

"I think you deserved it after that day's activities, don't you?" Edward chuckled.

"Guess so," I shrugged, a tiny bit self-conscious.

"Why..." Edward began to ask, but trailed off uncertainly, glancing back down at the comforter for lack of words.

"Why what?"

"Disney?" he questioned hesitantly, partly in good-humor, but a smidgen confused.

"I wanted something familiar," I admitted casually, "so I wouldn't feel bad for sleeping through any of it."

"Ah," he said through abruptly-muffled laughter. "Yes, that makes sense."

Once he had cooled down from his amusement, I allowed my glare to fall slightly.

"Any good dreams?" Edward decided to ask after a few agitated moments (on my part, at least).

Remembering that particular dream, I cringed enough that it did not go unnoticed. Sighing deeply, Edward sat back against the headboard and pulled me in close. "What was it this time?"

"Let's just say..." I started to speak, but paused indecisively until Edward's expression urged me onward. "Ultimately we were both vampires and we were both content with that fact. There. That's it."

Silent for all of a minute or two, Edward at last said, "That's all? Honestly, Bella, that sounds a bit basic to me. Your desires intermingling with your dreams. What's so strange about it?"

Shocked by his blasé attitude towards the subject, I guessed it would be all right for me to explain a smidgen further. "Well, we were in the glade Carlisle showed me. And it was really sunny; anti-Forks kind of 'sunny,' actually."

"We were just laying in a glade? Like we did in the meadow?"

"Oh. Well, no," I disagreed with a frown of concentration. "I ran through the forest to get there. It was like I had been lost, then found my way to you. Or more like something or someone was  _leading_  me to you... Anyway, that's pretty much everything. I'm still not sure what it even means."

"I just told you the meaning," Edward informed me in mildly-frustrated confusion. "What other meaning do you envision?"

"Isn't it kind of weird that it was the glade, rather than the meadow?" I prompted him, encouraged by his interested gaze.

"Not really," he shrugged with a mild smile, "You were at the glade more recently than the meadow. It makes sense to remember the most recent event."

"But the meadow holds a lot more significance," I argued curiously. "It actually makes more sense for me to see _that_ before anything else, considering how important it's been to us."

"While I agree with you, I still don't see it as being all that odd."

"I do," I responded, shaking my head slightly, "My dreams are always pretty significant, honestly."

"That is very true," Edward agreed, face becoming contemplative. "But why would the glade be significant, then?"

"That's just it," I sighed, taking my gaze away from his sculpted face and leaning forward onto my hand, "I don't  _know_  why."

Both of us sat quietly, engrossed in contemplation and confusion. When Edward broke the silence, it was with a low, attractive voice. "You said... in your dream... that there was a presence nearby at all times? And it was shepherding you towards me?"

"That's what it seemed like," I nodded. "I could tell it was a friendly presence. It was running with me. I remember there were footsteps; light and fast like... oh, maybe a deer?"

"Or a vampire," Edward suggested cautiously. Recognizing my startled expression, he expounded, "Based on the fact that you were... one of us... when you found me in the glade, I believe you were likely one of us throughout the entire dream. That leads me to suppose that a vampire was the friendly presence you sensed following. If that is so, then I may have a valid interpretation of your dream."

"Really? You can guess it already?" Admittedly, I was stunned. What on earth he was basing his deductions on, I could hardly say.

"I think... It may be something to do with Carlisle."

Crickets may as well have been chirping for all the silence that greeted this pronouncement. No way could Edward be serious about this...

"Okay, Edward," I chuckled nervously. "You're worrying me now. Sounds a little paranoid, all right?"

"I'm not being paranoid and I'm not being sarcastic, either," Edward assured me with a mildly exasperated sigh. "Think about this, Bella. The night you had the dream was the same night you had been at the glade with Carlisle. Also, the idea of running through the forest might have been influenced by you and Carlisle trying to get ahead of the wolves earlier that night. And Carlisle will... probably be changing you... so it makes sense that he would be leading you to the end result, which was that you were one of us."

While that made a lot of sense, I still wasn't entirely sure of it. "Why Carlisle? I mean, why not Alice? She's just as willing to change me if absolutely necessary."

Despite grinding his teeth at the subject he hated so passionately, Edward rallied onward, "Because Alice is hesitant about it. Carlisle has promised this to you without any hesitation whatsoever. I even suspect, in your conversations this past weekend, that Carlisle promised you in slightly more definite terms than he did the night of the vote. This more... intense promise likely solidified the idea of him leading you to this life."

Much as I was glad to finally have an adequate explanation of the strange dream, it was terrible to see how Edward's mood degenerated so swiftly.

"Makes sense," I agreed quietly, hoping to move onto a different topic as soon as possible. I had no intention of verifying Edward's claim that Carlisle made a more definite promise about changing me. Instead of waiting for an opening, I started a new theme myself. "You know, Carlisle and I like a lot of the same books. It's kind of funny, because his bookshelf houses just about everything, yet his favorites are the same as mine... Well, minus the medical stuff, anyway. That's a little too dry for my taste."

Snorting shortly, Edward accepted the change of direction easily enough. "Not exactly Romeo and Juliet, is it?"

"No," I murmured sadly, mulling over thoughts of the mutual life-altering choices Edward and I had made, much like Shakespeare's characters had done in the play. We were simply luckier than Romeo and Juliet; we had Alice intervening on our behalf.

"I'm sorry," came the gentle, ambiguous apology from Edward. After a lengthy pause, he struck out with the original topic in an over-bright way, "So it's not only that particular play you enjoy, but Shakespeare overall? I didn't know that."

"Yeah, I've always had a thing about Shakespeare," I admitted with a sheepish shrug, pink tingeing my cheeks. "Not sure why. Especially  _Macbeth_ ,  _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ , and  _The Merchant of Venice_. And the Sonnets, of course."

Edward laughed a little. "I guessed as much. You're a true romantic, Bella." He nodded appreciatively at me with a small crooked smile, before a thoughtful expression creased his brows. "Hm... if you like the same major works as Carlisle... you must love Sherlock Homes, as well."

"You know me and my mysteries," I hinted, smiling shyly as the pink on my face morphed into a vivid red. Genuine laughter rumbled from Edward's chest at this admission and he bent down to bestow a sweet kiss on my forehead. Feeling quite hot in the face, but pleased by his reaction, I had to bite my lip to stop from giggling or grinning.

"Jasper bought me a copy of Doyle's entire Sherlock Holmes works. That was his Christmas present."

Abruptly, Edward's laughter was cut back. Looking altogether confused, he asked, "Christmas present?"

"Yeah," I nodded, still smiling down at my hands where they rested on my lap. "Guess I reminded him of a detective, what with how I figured you out. I never knew I shocked him so much."

"Bella... we weren't here for Christmas," Edward whispered agonizingly. Looking up into his troubled face, I could tell he worried something was wrong with me.

Blinking absently for a long moment, I finally realized my error. "Oh... Edward, I thought you knew... I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" he questioned almost desperately.

"I thought you knew the others bought Christmas presents for me," I confessed his family's actions in Ithaca tentatively. "As a... way to remember me when all of you were gone..."

Fear and worry turned to shock and apprehension on Edward's sharp features. "They did that?"

"Yes, they did," was my slow confirmation, worry now beginning to creep into  _my_  system. "Do you want to see what they bought?"

"I'd like that." Through his agreement, a barely-visible panic set in on his marble face. Ignoring this change for the time being, I stood and headed over to my closet, but quickly recognized I was too short to reach. When I thought back on it, I  _did_  seem to remember Alice hanging from the top of the closet like some absurd kind of chimpanzee.

"Could you...?" Hardly had the question left my lips when Edward was reaching up inside the closet to get down my gifts.

"Thanks," I muttered gratefully, sitting back down with him on the bed to reopen the presents he laid out before me.

"This is the Sherlock Holmes book from Jasper," I said first, picking up the box on the end of the bed and handing it over to Edward's careful grasp. His hold was practically reverent and I wondered what he was thinking about to make him so cautiously awed.

"These two are from Emmett and those two are from Rosalie," I explained while pointing at the boxes which contained the bat and ball, and the keychains, respectively. "Alice said they were on a trip and visited the Baseball Hall of Fame. Emmett wanted to commemorate my first baseball game with you. Rosalie mostly got the keychains to shut Emmett up, but she thought of me all the same."

"Who is this one from?" whispered Edward, poking a vaguely trembling finger at the box from Esme. His voice took on a quiet sentimentality that I didn't hear all that often in regard to his family.

"Esme bought it to match Alice's gift." Now, I found myself whispering too. These shows of love from the Cullens stood out anew in my mind; I couldn't help feeling emotional all over again. "I don't even want to think how much it must have cost, though."

Out of solemn curiosity, Edward pulled open the black velvet box to see the shining sapphires sparkling at us from their padded confines. The gems looked even more beautiful glimmering in the mild daylight hours than they had the night I'd opened them. For some reason, as I gazed upon them I was reminded of eyes. Not just any eyes, either. Something in that blue made me think of Carlisle's patience and understanding. Maybe when he had been human, Carlisle Cullen's eyes were this shade of blue.

"These are quite exquisite," Edward spoke up, voice sounding hoarse. "No wonder Alice allowed Esme to arrange them herself. But then Esme has always had excellent taste in jewels. "

"Alice got to pick out the clothes," I pointed out unnecessarily, mostly for something to say that didn't sound foolish as I took out the dressy outfit.

"Yes, she did," he agreed, absently running his finger over the chain of the necklace, eyeing its large sapphire stone intently. Then without warning his rich eyes were not fixed upon the necklace at all, but on the blue blouse, dark gray skirt, and unique velvet shoes. Every other second, it seemed, those molten pools of gold switched between the new ensemble and my face.

After some minutes of this bizarre ritual, my face had become the color of a radish and felt as hot as a summer day back in Phoenix. Seeing the change in my features, Edward at last stopped alternating his gaze – if only to hesitantly take the necklace from its resting spot with dancing fingertips. Moving ever so softly, he took the intricate chain and lifted it to my tightening throat. A shiver crossed the entire length of my spine as his chilled fingers glossed the nape of my neck to clasp the pendant in place.

By this point, Edward appeared as though something was strangling him. Slight though my resolve was when faced with the power of his topaz eyes, I urged my eyes away from his to see what caused such a vivid reaction.

The sapphire stone, set against a silver art deco backing, hung precisely an inch beneath the hollow of my throat. Against my better judgment, I admitted to myself how lovely it was and just how well it suited my complexion. Wearing it with the blouse Alice had chosen... to be honest with myself, it would look absolutely exceptional.

"Dazzling," Edward murmured sensually, deep ochre eyes riveted to the pendant now. The simple little blush I wore intensified like a blazing roar of fire when his fingers trailed my skin, outlining the edge of the necklace.

Had Edward not pulled away at exactly that moment, I might have blacked out from a lack of oxygen. Regretful though the loss of contact was, I could accept it in the face of imminent suffocation.

"What else did you get?" Edward suddenly asked, glancing casually around at the spread of gifts.

"Oh... Carlisle bought me this." My voice dropped a few decibels in volume as I lifted the lid of the box containing my new Jane Austen set. With another careful grasp, Edward pulled the gift into his hands to look it over with fervent sentimentality.

"He knew about this? Even back then?" was the next thing to escape Edward's mouth.

"No, not back then." I shook my head negatively. "A few days after we talked about our favorite books, Alice and Carlisle went shopping. He saw this and wanted to get it, but he knew I wouldn't appreciate it without a very good reason. Alice suggested he buy it in the spirit of Christmas, like they all did."

"Why didn't he participate at Christmas in the first place, I wonder?" Edward queried aloud, almost absentmindedly.

"Um... because he was... kind of out of it?" I suggested timidly. "Remember what Alice and Jasper said about his behavior at that time?"

Edward sighed meaningfully at the reminder. "I remember all too well."

A long silence stretched between us then, one not unlike the kind we had faced during school a few days prior. The strain took such a toll on me, I latched onto the first thought that came into my head as a distraction. "I er... watched  _Snow White_  with Carlisle after we stopped discussing books. He really loved the movie. Of course, that was because of the comparison I made to Esme, but yeah... He was so funny, talking about Esme. Like a little kid with a crush, you know? Dreamy-eyed and breathless and that sort of thing..."

By the time I realized I was babbling half-incoherently, Edward was smiling kindly in my direction and taking my hands into his own to calm me.

"Yes, Carlisle loves Esme more than could ever be described in words. It... it's rather beautiful."

Strands of melancholy threaded through Edward's voice, mixed strangely with appreciation and amazement. How he could feel melancholy about something so sweet was beyond me. Well... unless he was thinking about the strain between his parents. That  _was_  a melancholy train of thought.

"He loves her smile," I commented softly, a smile playing about my own lips, "He said it was breathtaking. And her eyes, he loves those as well. I think I can safely quote him as saying... 'even when she was a young girl, her eyes were incredible.' Something like that, anyway. And I think he used the word trenchant, too. But what does that mean? I've never heard it before."

"It could mean a couple of different things," Edward answered thoughtfully, "Either that her eyes were very defined or that they were penetrating. If I recall his memories of her correctly, it might even be both. There was something very keen about her eyes. Well, there still is, but you know what I mean. They were brown."

"He mentioned that," I nodded fondly, albeit sadly considering the way Esme was currently avoiding her husband. "Amber-flecked brown, actually."

"I may have been slightly less attentive to that specific detail," was Edward's dry response.

I couldn't help giggling a bit. "I guess so."

" _Your_ eyes, however..." he murmured, the velvet of his voice taking on a whole new aspect when he spoke so lovingly. "Let's just say I could put a label to each and every unique speckle of brown in your eyes. Maybe that's how Carlisle felt about Esme's eyes."

Flushing a color near to primrose pink, I could not turn away from the depths of his gaze. "I think I could name plenty of shades of topaz, myself," I confessed breathlessly as I gazed into his glowing eyes.

Breathtakingly beautiful, Edward broke out into the crooked smile that I loved so dearly. There was absolutely no doubt my heart skipped several beats and my breathing stopped completely. "Breathe, love," he smirked at me, but looked away for my own safety just the same.

"Sorry," I gasped, gulping in air as usual while cold fingers trailed my arm with soothing tenderness.

"You know," Edward commented quietly after awhile, nose buried in my hair, "I think I might be able to guess why Carlisle told you about Esme's change that day."

"What?" I started suddenly. After that kind of intense moment, the subject change was quite abrupt.

"Carlisle mentioned Esme when she was human, for one." Edward didn't even seem aware of my confusion as he talked. "And he mentioned knowing her as a young girl, too."

"Yeah," I admitted slowly, beginning to see where he was going with this. "It made me curious. I mean, he changed her at twenty-six, but he was also talking about her as a girl."

"So you asked him about it," Edward questioned, taking his face away from its spot against the top of my head.

"I did," I confirmed simply, reaching up to soothe my fingertips over his jaw line.

"What did he tell you?"

"That he had met her ten years prior to changing her." I didn't know what to do except explain my reactions and hope Edward stopped blaming Carlisle for telling me.

"And you naturally wondered if he stayed for those ten years or not," was Edward's rather calm reply. Calmer than I had expected anyway. Despite Edward's usual temper, it seemed every memory I talked through with him proved just how much it could help to be reflective at times.

"Yes. I actually did wonder that." My cheeks began to glow pink again. It really had been a silly notion. Carlisle would never have been that careless with a girl he barely knew. "He cleared it up immediately, of course. Told me he'd met her, but didn't stay with her."

"He wouldn't have been that self-serving," Edward muttered with a roll of his eyes.

"Funny, I just thought the same thing," I smiled meekly up at him, pleased to receive a confident grin in return.

"Something else is kind of... well not funny, per se," I started again, "but just ironic."

"What's that?" Edward smiled again, encouraging me.

"Well, Carlisle met Esme before he met any of you," I hesitantly conveyed the theory Carlisle loved so much. "It was like... like he was being told how important she would be to his family. Even if she wasn't a part of it yet."

"Do you always come up with such wonderful theories?" Edward actually laughed richly. "You and Carlisle always think up something fascinating to explain the things that appear totally inexplicable."

"It's just a guess," I mumbled in embarrassment.

"But a wonderful guess," he countered, kissing me briefly. "We really did need her. Without her, our family would never have made it this far. Not without severe mental damage, anyway."

We laughed together over the problems everyone would get into without Esme's mothering. Emmett, in particular. I had the feeling Emmett would end up breaking the house room by room.

"Now, I have a hypothesis of my own," Edward spoke up. With a wary expression, I nodded for him to continue. "You must have asked how Carlisle met Esme... and how he found her again."

"Bull's eye," I sighed mildly. "That's why he told me about her broken leg and finding her in the morgue. Of course, you already told me the second part."

"That I did," Edward nodded agreeably enough.

"When I first came to the house," I remembered with a small smile.

"Do you know why Esme's leg was broken?" Edward changed the subject so unexpectedly again that I was left far behind for a full minute.

Alarmed at the though that perhaps her father had also abused her, I asked, "No one hurt her, did they?"

"Oh no," Edward chuckled brightly, easing my fears instantly. "...She was climbing a tree on her family's farm."

"What?" I said blankly, clearly not comprehending what made it so amusing. "What's wrong with that?"

"In the year two-thousand-six? Absolutely nothing," Edward told me exasperatedly, but fondly. "But Esme was a sixteen-year-old girl climbing an apple tree in  _nineteen-eleven_. It just wasn't done."

"Oh!" I exclaimed out of the blue, making a random connection. "Like when Anne Shirley climbs the ridgepole of Moody's kitchen roof?"

"There you go," he chuckled further. "That's exactly what I mean. Socially-acceptable girls in that time period didn't climb trees."

"Esme was an adventurer, wasn't she?" I laughed myself.

"Pretty much," he agreed with a grin unfurling on his beautiful face.

"Carlisle said you teased him about his mystery girl," I grinned slightly at Edward. "Mercilessly, I believe."

"Well, he was amusing when he was at his most lovesick," Edward laughed again, but it felt much more awkward this time. Much more tense. "I'm not altogether certain it was the kindest of behavior, but he seemed to appreciate the humor at the time..."

Feeling uncomfortable at the down-turned mood, I decided – one of many times that day – to make a transition and spare Edward's feelings. Problem was, I couldn't think of a change in topic fast enough.

"I knew I had to stop teasing him after he brought her home," Edward continued gravely. "It would have been extremely cruel to taunt him over leaving her to such a fate as suicide. He must have become quite... sad... when you discussed him possibly staying with her for that decade."

"When he corrected me about it, he laughed about the whole idea, but I think..." Again I hesitated to make my idea known, but I thought it was important to say it anyway. "I think it hurt him that he didn't stay then. Especially after... what happened later in Esme's life."

A sharp inhale was the first reaction Edward partook of, followed by a slow, calming exhale. "I see Carlisle told you about... her first  _husband_ , as well?"

Had I not known Edward could never hurt me, I would have shrunk back instinctively at the pure acid in his voice upon the word 'husband.' No doubts surfaced in my mind that Edward hated the man who hurt Esme for so long. Carlisle's instinct that Edward killed Charles Evenson seemed all the more real to me in that moment.

"Did you...?" I breathed the words. I couldn't even finish the question that rang in my mind. Although I would not hate  _Edward_ for it, I did hate to think of how it may – even to the present day – affect his psyche.

A long, troubling pause stretched out between the two of us after my inquiry. Edward steadfastly kept his face hidden, said nothing, did nothing... he didn't even breathe. For my part, I sat as still as he did and wondered if I should not have even asked. Surely, even if he felt Charles Evenson's death was justified, Edward felt a modicum of guilt that he could probably never erase.

When it seemed the tension had become entirely unbearable, his soft voice sounded in my ears, hoarse with a mixture of conviction and grief.

"I killed him... I murdered Charles Evenson."

Knowing the fact did not prepare me for hearing Edward say something so damning; not in such an outright way. Even seeing the torture my beloved vampire was putting himself through, I could not open my mouth to  _try_  and speak, let alone actually say something of meaning.

"I'm sure Carlisle suspected as much," he went on to say bleakly, before allowing his head to drop despondently down onto his bent knees. "No, that's not true at all... He didn't merely suspect it. He  _knew._ Of course he knew."

Edward paused to laugh with immense self-deprecation. "Carlisle knows me inside and out. There was no way he could  _not_  know what I did. Esme has tried to deny it ever since I returned to them in 1931, but inside she knows the truth. For her to admit it would be to call me a murderer. She won't do that."

Another pause stole over us, during which I tried in any way possible to think up something to say that would ease Edward's depression somehow. Nothing, nothing at all, came to my mind. How could I possibly respond without sounding cheap and totally without empathy?

"Not that Carlisle would, either," Edward spat out with disgust. At whom, I could not tell. I truly hoped it was not at his father, yet neither did I want it directed inward at himself. No matter which way he chose, it was unhealthy for him. After a taut moment, my question was unwittingly answered.

"But he should. That's what I am. A murderer."

" _No_."

At last, my voice came to me. There was nothing that would stop me protecting Edward. Whether it be from an outside enemy, a rude classmate, his own family, or even himself. "You've changed, Edward. You're not that person. Even when you did it, you were protecting women who might be hurt by that awful man, like Esme was."

Edward didn't even flinch at my defense; instead he laughed bitterly. The sound tore at my heart with vicious strength.

"Oh, Bella, how I wish that were true," he muttered darkly. Long fingers curled tightly around his steel calves.

"But it is true," I insisted. "You just–"

"No, it is  _not_  true, Bella!" With ferocious intensity, Edward whipped his head up and around to face me, now-dark eyes glaring wildly. I actually backed up a few inches at the power behind his expression.

"I wanted revenge!" Edward snarled loudly. A fanatical gleam in his eyes made me realize how close this time period still was in his heart. How much it still affected him. I had not known how correct my assumptions could be. "That was another reason why I left them in 1926. Not just the temptation of human blood, but for vengeance on the men who did horrible things to the people around them."

Stunned at the absolute certainty in his voice, the unyielding force behind his feelings, I could only stare into those onyx eyes that were sharper than any sword. My eyes were incapable of leaving his chiseled face as he began to spew vitriol about a man who had been dead since 1926.

"Evenson was my first kill. I wanted to destroy him for what he did to her! I  _hated_  him! I hate him still. Even more than I've ever hated anyone before. In those five years since her change, Esme became my mother in all but blood. I loved her too much to let his sick crimes against her go unpunished–"

Stopping without warning and swallowing incredibly hard, Edward ripped his face away from my frozen gaping and drew a sudden, shuddering breath which violently shook his entire body. From his side, I now gazed with alarm as he opened his mouth in a twisted grimace as if to speak some dreaded truth.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he choked out, closing his eyes tightly and wrapping his long arms as far around his legs as they would go. "I never wanted you to hear this... this monstrous side of me. This is why I begged Carlisle not to say anything. Why I begged all of them not to... I'm so sorry."

Taken completely aback by the ragged emotions and fierce pain he was feeling, I momentarily found myself helpless. Was anything I could say even worth it? It wasn't as if I could ease this guilt and horror for him by telling him inane platitudes or hopeless clichés.

Yet something in me knew what would help, if only a thimble's worth. Whenever my emotions became jagged, Edward held me. He didn't even have to say anything. In pure silence and stillness, just having his arms wrapped around me was the greatest comfort he could offer. That was the least I could give him for the many times he had shown me the same gesture of love.

Moving almost in slow motion it seemed, I rose to a stance of looking down on Edward's head, seeing every strand of reddish-brown in all their variations. Reaching out smoothly, I laid my fingertips at the top of his forehead and eased them through his messy bronze hair with loving care, to which he shuddered delicately. He was so vulnerable looking; like a child in need of a tender touch to ease their nightmares. Heaven knew, Edward must have had plenty of nightmares to haunt his waking mind since 1918. This was just one of those terrors.

For many long moments I continued to stroke his hair, but finding no noticeable change in his stance, I knew it would take more than that simple motion to soothe him. Leaning forward on my knees, I took my hand away, only to put the whole arm around his back and the other arm beneath his curled torso to encircle his ribcage. The shudder was so pronounced this time that it felt nearly like a seizure, but it was more than that. Edward was trying to pull away from me.

"No, Edward," I murmured into his shoulder, tightening my grip as much as I could against his iron strength.

"I don't deserve it," he uttered pitifully, straining away while trying not to break my arms in the process. "Bella..."

"Stop it," I said firmly, but quietly. "I  _want_  to hold you, Edward Cullen. And I'm  _going_  to hold you. Now come here."

The fighting stopped, as rapidly as if I'd slapped him to get my point across, and to my surprise, Edward turned at the speed of light to wrap himself around me and bury his head in the brown locks that fell across my shoulder. Dry heaving breaths escaped him in hasty succession, reminding me all too keenly of my more hysterical moments. The only thing to do was wait it out with him and be as calm as I could make myself.

As if his cold lips touching my throat reverently and sweetly were not enough demonstration, Edward adoringly whispered, "I love you."

"I love you, too," I murmured into the icy ear which lay just below my lips. "I always will."

Hours may have passed that way, sitting in each others arms with nothing but our synchronized breathing and my heartbeat to fill the silence. Some cynical place in my mind called it pointless, but in a much deeper part of me, I knew that – aside from the day we first admitted we loved each other – it was the most healing experience we had ever shared.

* * *

 


	7. Resolute

Disclaimer: I do not own nor make profit off of _Twilight_. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer and Summit Entertainment, etc.

A/N:I don’t see this as changing Stephenie Meyer’s canon storyline really, so I wouldn’t call it AU, per se. The events might conflict with a fewminorplot details from SM’s universe. Characters may be a touch OOC at times.

To any new readers, welcome aboard! If you’re one who is still reading after all this time of waiting, I love you to death. :)

> **Chapter 7: Resolute**

It seemed like forever until Edward finally calmed enough to simply hold me the same as I held onto him. He had progressed from burying his face in my shoulder to wrapping his arms around my back and laying his face atop my head.

After a few beats passed that way, Edward finally spoke again into the silence of my room. “Please talk? About anything.”

Caught a little off guard, I had to think a moment about what ‘anything’ could be, but soon began to describe whatever I had yet to say about Carlisle and the past weekend. From me no longer being ‘normal’ to the Volturi checking on my human state to Edward’s half-truths about hunting styles and his tendency to exaggerate the truth or hide things out of some sense of protection.

I told Edward how deeply I understood his fear of damaging my soul and how much I would fear his death, even if I had already died myself. I let him know that he couldn’t just ignore something because he disagreed with it or didn’t like it, and clued him in to how much it hurt that he seemed to care so little about what I thought now.

Before I could stop myself, I began to ramble on further about Charlie and Renee; the effect my so-called death would have, and the possibility that Victoria might come after them. My tongue even found the guts the pour out everything Carlisle had told me about his first and second meetings with Esme, my similarity to the caramel-haired vampire in her human years and when she dove off a cliff, and the Cullen family’s beginnings.

Edward’s early anger and frustration with Carlisle and being turned came into play, something Edward reacted to on a physical level by bowing his head. When I talked of Carlisle’s real, underlying reasons for wearing scarves – the depression the doctor had agreed took the forefront – shock overcame my vampire’s topaz eyes like it rarely had since knowing him. That shock lasted once I told Edward of his father’s human journal and the knowledge that Pastor Cullen would have destroyed his own son if he knew what he’d become.

It was only slightly more difficult to tell of the issues surrounding marriage and the comparisons Carlisle made with _Der Freischütz_ and _Fidelio_. I couldn’t stop talking now that I had started so deep in, even daring to go in detail about the events leading up to my vivid reaction to the Volturi painting – asking Carlisle for a story and picking a portrait to be told about. And of course the events following the incident, and Alice and Jasper’s part in it, had to be told as well.

The fall and Carlisle’s subsequent guilt-trip over my reaction to the painting led me into the subject of the Volturi, wrongly-accused Tevin, my preposterous doubts of the Cullens’ care for me, Esme’s fear and worry over her husband’s condition, and the arrangement of the weekend hunt for Carlisle and Edward that I had so slyly set up.

By the time I finished talking, my throat felt like sandpaper and even as emotional as he was, Edward disappeared downstairs to get a glass of water for me without a second thought.

“I’m sorry,” I croaked, annoyed by the persistent dryness in my voice. “I just couldn’t seem to quit talking.”

“I guess that might have been for the better,” Edward murmured, not quite looking up at me. Concerned, I reached for his upper arm in question. Chancing a glance up at me, my bronze-haired vampire seemed sadder than I thought he would be. Anger I would have expected, even prepared for, but not such melancholy as his topaz eyes produced in that moment.

“What is it, Edward?” I asked him worriedly, reaching out with my other hand to encase his shoulders. “What’s the matter now?”

“If I had been given a chance to interrupt, even once,” he admitted softly, closing his eyes in shame as he finished the thought, “I would never have understood what you’ve been trying to tell me all this week. No, not even that… I would never have _listened_ to what you’ve been trying to tell me. You were right. I ignore what I don’t like, even if it’s your thoughts, Bella. I’ve wanted something or someone to erupt on, someone on whom I could unleash my fears and my anger. It all built up since meeting you, and I… Carlisle has to be the worst possible person to do so with. Yet I did it anyway. Because I didn’t care, as long as I felt better for having spilled out all that troubled me. And he never once came back on me for it. No matter how much right he had to do just that.”

“You really do understand now,” I whispered, a weight of relief falling away that I’d never realized was there.

“Yes, Bella, I do,” he whispered painfully in return. “It doesn’t make me any happier, and it doesn’t change my opinion about you being turned… but I see how wrong I was to take it all out on Carlisle and to put you in the middle of that. I can’t thank you enough for continuing to push me even when it hurt us both to argue. No one else could have done it. That’s only one reason why you’re so special, Bella. Only one of many reasons why I love you and feel so much fear about your future being damaged.”

“We have time to deal with that, too,” I muttered, a slight frown on my face. “But I think we’re going to need a healthy family to support both of us before any of that ever gets dealt with.”

Sighing heavily and pulling me back against his chest, Edward agreed, “I think you’re right, love. The question is… how do we make this family healthy again?”

“I have ideas,” I shrugged awkwardly in his arms, tucking my head under his chin. “None of them are all that amazing, some have only really worked a little bit and some will probably never work at all… I tried to help Emmett overcome whatever’s bothering him, but Rosalie is a huge part of the problem. And Jasper disappears as much as possible whenever I come near, which means we can’t move forward with his problems, and Alice ends up feeling down because of that. And Esme is behaving so strangely about Carlisle, but he’s too downhearted to really work on it…”

“That’s one point I have a plan for,” Edward sighed again, more frustratedly than before. “Half a plan, at least, for whatever good it will do.”

“Then I guess you better get moving fast,” I sighed as well, squeezing him as much as my human fragility would allow. “Because time isn’t going any slower and the Cullen family seems to be getting worse at a catastrophic rate.”

Edward sighed, troubled and worried, but pulled me up suddenly in spite of the emotions running rampant through both of us.

“What are you doing?” I asked in surprise, although I didn’t fight his decision to stand.

“You should eat something,” he informed me in that velvet tone he employed when he wanted to pamper me. “It’s almost eight.”

“Wow,” I breathed in shock. “It’s been that long?”

“Yes, unfortunately,” Edward sighed for the thousandth time that day, leading me downstairs to Charlie’s kitchen with our fingers intertwined.

Dinner wasn’t all that appetizing, not with my thoughts constantly wandering over all of our problems and leaving my stomach in awkward knots. Edward didn’t look pleased at the change in appetite, but he didn’t say anything, instead grabbing the soap and dish rag to preemptively wash and dry the dishes for me. Scowling just barely, I couldn’t even muster the nerve to be really bothered by his gesture.

The day of the hunt with Carlisle loomed misty but not rainy, my body waking of its own volition as the importance of the day stood clear in my mind. Not that I’d actually slept. Mostly I tossed and turned in Edward’s arms, brain too overworked to genuinely find rest. Given my penchant for sleepless nights full of worry, I began to fear proper rest would only be attainable after I no longer needed it.

“You didn’t have a very good night,” Edward told me plainly, frowning over the knowledge.

“Did I even have a night to speak of?” I sighed as I sat up with him, brushing back strands of hair that had fallen into my face. Edward raised a brow at me, pushing me to elaborate, “I mean, most people have to actually fall asleep and stay that way to determine what kind of night they had, wouldn’t you say?”

Snorting as he let me sit up, Edward agreed dryly, “I suppose so.”

After my morning routine and a change of clothes, I headed down to the appetizing smell emanating from the kitchen and started to wonder what I would be doing while Edward spent the weekend with Carlisle.

“Thanks,” I smiled a little at Edward where he stood by the dining table with a fresh plate of toast, eggs, and bacon, and a glass of orange juice. “I guess I don’t mind you taking over sometimes.”

“It’s nice to be able to do something for you,” he admitted warmly, reaching out to brush my hair back as I took a seat. Despite the comfort in his gesture, the nervousness in his topaz eyes became all too clear.

“It’ll be fine, Edward,” I told him soothingly, reaching out to grasp his hands. “The only problem will be if you let yourself get so angry again. Every time you do, somebody gets hurt. It has to stop.”

“I know,” he murmured softly. “It’s just beginning to feel so insurmountable. Not just facing my fears and my discrepancies, but healing this family at all. What if I can’t help Carlisle?”

“Of course you can,” I insisted gently but strongly. “Carlisle is very easy to hurt, but he’s also very easy to help because he wants things to be better. If you’re willing to work with him, willing to talk with him, it’ll build up his spirits. That’s what he needs; what you both need. You just have to go and do it, okay?”

Sighing more heavily than he had all the previous day, Edward nodded once, “All right.”

My appetite little improved from the previous night’s dinner, but I at least finished breakfast before Edward and I left for the Cullen house. He ran like the wind, of course, but I could sense the barest of difference from his normal sprint; he wasn’t looking forward to the long, rigorous process of healing his family any more than I was. Regardless our mutual anxiety, Edward and I made it to the Cullen house in mere minutes, the mostly empty garage a rather welcome sight as Edward helped me stand.

“Who’s here?” I asked curiously.

“Carlisle and Alice,” Edward answered with some relief, although something in his voice sounded a touch off. It was nothing I could pinpoint, but I didn’t like it all the same. “The others are out for the morning.”

“Esme, too?” I murmured as low as humanly possible, hoping Carlisle wouldn’t hear me and hoping even more stringently that the Cullen mother had come to her senses.

Edward’s throaty sigh told me all I needed to know about that situation before he ever responded, “She came by, but…”

“She left again,” I completed the sentence for him, feeling let down. “I’m glad you’re doing this today, then.”

“So am I,” he agreed quietly, leading me in the front door to find Alice sitting with adverse calm on the sofa facing the front windows.

“Hi,” was her simple greeting, glancing up from her fashion magazine with atypically serious eyes.

“Hey, Alice,” I said just as simply.

“Carlisle’s packing his extra clothes,” the small vampire commented. “And I already packed yours.”

Looking over where Alice’s dainty pointing finger directed, I saw Edward’s overnight bag neatly packed on the opposite sofa – with the top open for some reason.

“Thanks,” the bronze-haired vampire told his sister, moving to put his current jacket on top of the packed clothing – quickly explaining why it had been left open in the first place. “After that mess yesterday, I didn’t think of it.”

“I know,” Alice remarked with a shrug, and I had to smile at her nonchalance.

“Hello, Bella,” Carlisle spoke from behind us, and I heard his bag hit the floor with a mild thump.

I turned to acknowledge the doctor with a smile, only to let the expression slide off my face when I took in his haggard features. There was nothing to indicate that haggardness in his outward appearance per se, but the look in his eyes and the set of his posture told the story. “Hi, Carlisle.”

“I know what you must be thinking,” he sighed deeply, and I worried over the defeated tone of his voice as he glanced at me with coal black eyes. “I look terrible.”

“Just worn down,” Edward argued quietly, sounding as though his guilt was eating him alive. His face didn’t look much better than Carlisle’s now.

“As you say,” Carlisle backed down from his previous comment with a shake of his head. This easy agreement worried me even more, but I didn’t say anything. If anybody could help at this stage in the situation, it would be Edward, not me.

“You should head out,” Alice informed her father and brother quietly, eyes keen on both of their dejected conditions. “If you leave now, you’ll be able to avoid the rain that’s coming.”

“Let us go, then,” Carlisle decided with a single nod, reaching for his bag again. “Edward?”

“Ready,” Edward nodded in agreement and grabbed his own bag, embracing me warmly and kissing my lips before he followed his father out the back door without another word.

For a long moment I stood in the same position, staring out the back door as if the power of my stare could fix everything for father and son.

Alice sighed irritably of a sudden, tossing her magazine down on the sofa with disgust. “Nothing good this month.”

“You can’t tell me you were actually reading that in the first place?” I suggested with a raised brow, head turned in her direction.

“I read one article, thank you very much,” Alice replied in a sniffy voice, rising to stand beside me. “What do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged awkwardly, taking one last look through the window wall in the back. Nothing but Forks greenery stared back, and I sighed with resignation at last. “Movie?”

“I guess we could do that,” Alice consented, popping away to the DVD cabinet. “Which one?”

“Disney again, I guess,” I decided. “At least I won’t feel bad if my thoughts wander.”

“I’ll just bring all the Disney films over,” the pixielike vampire announced, and in a flash an entire collection of DVDs sat on the coffee table. Gazing from the television to the couch she had just occupied, Alice inhaled with sudden inspiration, “Oh, and I’ll move the sofa around.”

Seeing how distracted and spontaneous Alice behaved, I remembered all the visions she had been blocking or rearranging since this mess began. “It must be awfully keyed up in that head of yours.”

“You could say that,” Alice responded wryly, switching the huge white sofa around in a blink and disappearing from sight. Her voice continued from the kitchen a moment later, “Hopefully Edward’s decision to talk with Carlisle is going to clear that up somewhat. Hm... chocolate chunk or peanut butter cup?”

“What for?” I asked confusedly, turning toward the kitchen in confusion.

“Ice cream,” Alice shrugged, holding up two containers of the cold stuff over the counter. “That and popcorn are good for movie days, right?”

“Movie _nights_ , Alice,” I corrected her without any actual heat. “Let’s stick with fruit or nuts or something for now, huh? It’s barely past breakfast. Besides, I just ate before we came over.”

“Oh, fine,” she muttered, tossing the ice cream cartons back in the freezer. “I’ll bring the grapes and strawberries.”

“Sounds good,” I remarked, shaking my head at her disappointment. Sometimes Alice needed to manage her human inspirations a little better.

Settling into the sofa with the fruit Alice had gathered in a big bowl, I wondered what movie to pick. I didn’t mind any Disney movie, really, so I thought I might ask Alice for an option. “What do you like to watch, Alice?”

“Most any of them,” the black-haired vampire frowned in thought. “I mean, _Alice in Wonderland_ is my favorite, but any princess will do as well.”

“Oh well,” I shrugged at our indecision. “Let’s watch that, then.”

Little Alice and her Wonderland adventures took up more interest than I’d envisioned at first, followed by the real Alice’s second favorite movie, _Mary Poppins_ , but it was only lunchtime when we finished and by that point my thoughts had started to wander to Edward and Carlisle’s progress – if there _was_ any.

“Do you think they’re getting anywhere?” I asked Alice concernedly while she tried to decide on a third movie. “Much as I thought it was a good idea, I’m beginning to think differently.”

“Let’s just run through the princess ones in the alphabetical order they’re in,” Alice suggested thoughtfully before answering me distractedly and nonchalantly, “Don’t be so nervous, Bella. They aren’t even finished hunting yet, let alone getting to the actual discussion.”

“I guess,” was my sighed reply as I sunk down into the sofa. “What movie now?”

“Lunchtime,” Alice announced brightly instead, popping up to her feet. “Don’t worry. I won’t try to cook anything this time.”

“Thanks,” I said dryly, letting her pull me up from the couch and tag along hand-in-hand to the kitchen. As per usual when my nerves were on edge, my cooking skills constituted all the grandiose glory of a deli sandwich.

“That’s not very creative, is it?” Alice wondered curiously and bluntly, as was her way, staring at my boring meal with her nose wrinkled. “What about movie night food? You know, popcorn and ice cream and all that?”

Thinking for a moment instead of automatically getting annoying, I determined my life had already been weird enough and it wouldn’t hurt to change up my dietary habits a little as well. “Oh, whatever. I’ll make popcorn. You scoop a little ice cream.”

“Yes!” Alice grinned brightly, and her good cheer was well worth the change in food habits.

The popcorn, for all it took time to pop and then add butter, took the same amount of time as Alice took to create a chocolate chunk ice cream sundae with chocolate topping, strawberries, bananas, peanuts, whipped cream, and sprinkles. It was difficult to keep my best friend’s enthusiasm down, and seeing the strange beauty of her edible artwork, I didn’t really have the heart to stop her all that much. She didn’t mind wasting whatever I didn’t eat, although I convinced her we could freeze whatever was leftover.

With my warm popcorn and loaded sundae, I settled on the sofa beside Alice to watch the next movie, _Aladdin_. After that, we went through _Beauty and the Beast_ (my second attempt to watch it all the way through), _Cinderella_ , and _Little_ _Mermaid_. To my surprise, I found myself getting interested enough to forget about Edward and Carlisle’s hunting trip for a little while. Until I made dinner consisting of fettuccine alfredo and a salad, I also forgot I wasn’t going back to Charlie’s house for the night.

“After you finish dinner, we’ll go back to your house and get a bag packed for the weekend,” Alice said distractedly, eyes going in and out of focus as she searched for Carlisle and Edward, as well as the rest of the family. Jasper decided to spend some time with Emmett to keep the big vampire from getting too depressed, and Rosalie had gone out shopping with Esme. Whether or not the latter meant literal shopping or something along the lines of ‘putting out wildfires,’ Alice didn‘t specify.

“Okay,” I agreed easily, taking another bite of fettuccine with more haste than before.

It was strange running with Alice after running with Edward, Carlisle, and Jasper. She was so small and thin that it seemed as if I were holding onto a very slender tree branch. Yet Alice’s strength and surety never came under question; I knew from the time with James that she could carry me with just as much ease as anyone else.

Climbing through Charlie’s window as Edward had done the night before, Alice set me on my feet and rushed around in a blur to pack my things. I wasn’t the only one in a hurry, apparently.

“Do you know when Charlie’s coming back yet?” I asked her, the thought coming to mind out of the blue.

“Sometime next weekend,” Alice answered, voice muffled from within the closet. “Beaver’s going to keep getting the rain coming in from the east, so the wash-out won’t be fixed until next Thursday night at the earliest.”

“A week?” I asked incredulously. “So school’s going to be cancelled again, too?”

“No, actually,” the pixielike vampire disagreed, returning from my closet with an armful of clothes. “Amazingly the rain won’t come down to Forks. It’ll just head west to the ocean.”

That _was_ amazing. Forks without rain was like Arizona without sun.

Given no further topics to truly discuss, Alice finished the packing for me in record time. For once, I wasn’t really bothered. As a matter of fact, I just wanted it done so we could go back to the Cullen house and wait out the rest of the family.

“Come on,” Alice waved me over, helping me on her back while she carried the bags in front of her. With the addition of the bags, I worried the trip would be awkward, but it was just as seamless a trip as it ever was. Alice had me settled on the couch again and holding the remains of my sundae from that afternoon while the small vampire set up the last princess movie we had to watch.

“I almost forgot about this one,” I stated with a little surprise as _Sleeping Beauty_ began playing.

“I love this one,” Alice sighed happily, stuffing a blanket between me and her cold arm. “Aurora’s royal dress is one of my favorites. Both colors, even.”

“I always liked the blue color best,” I said, “but it’s funny when the fairies are fighting over it.”

“I actually liked the combination, too,” Alice giggled, and I rolled my eyes are her fashion obsession.

The fairies’ fight over dress colors came up just when the front door banged open and shut like a firecracker.

Whipping around in shock, Alice and I saw Rosalie appear just beyond the couch and take her coat off. She looked agitated and disturbed, but what put her in that frame of mind I didn’t know. Glancing back at Alice, I could tell from the expression in her eyes she had not realized Rosalie was coming back.

The blonde vampire stopped suddenly when she saw her sister and me, golden eyes flickering to the screen behind us and back, hesitantly eyeing Merryweather pointing a wand at Flora.

“May I join you?”

Blinking, I turned back around and gave Alice a look that clearly asked her to deal with this herself.

“If you want,” Alice shrugged with seeming calm, although there was a frost in her voice and posture I couldn’t miss. Rosalie didn’t seem to either, but she hesitated only a moment before reappearing on Alice’s other side.

If I had ever faced a more awkward movie experience, it was only when Jacob and Mike joined me on Valentine’s Day. Shoving that awful day away from my memory as best I could, I tried to focus on Aurora telling the fairies about her new love, but that movie day kept coming back to haunt me for reasons I couldn’t understand.

“Are you okay, Bella?” Alice asked me concernedly, and her chilled hand on my shoulder snapped me out of the unfocused gaze I’d fallen into. With a start, I realized not only that the movie had been paused, but more importantly that I was trembling.

“Fine,” I answered automatically.

“Please don’t use that word,” Alice groaned lightly. “Whenever you use that word, I know you’re not fine at all.”

I could do nothing but shrug in response to that, uncertain myself why the day stood out so uncomfortably.

“Okay, let’s start with this…”  Alice sighed exasperatedly, turning to face me more fully. “What were you thinking about?”

Gulping just enough to be noticeable, I shook my head negatively. There was no way I could say my thoughts dwelled on Rosalie making the night awkward; that wouldn’t end well. Nor would mentioning Jacob in front of the blonde vampire be a pleasant experience for us.

“Please tell me, Bella?” Alice sighed again, quieter and sadder than before as she reached out to grasp my hand. “I hate seeing you so disturbed.”

“It’s just the movie night,” I muttered awkwardly, not looking up at my black-haired friend. “Reminded me of another. From before. When you were… when you were gone.”

“Oh,” Alice breathed softly, now squeezing my hand. “I’m sorry.”

“S’okay,” I mumbled uncomfortably, wishing I hadn’t focused so much on that Valentine’s Day movie night, but my mind didn’t seem to agree with my wishes much in recent times.

“I can’t imagine what you went through,” the tiny vampire sighed deeply. “Even seeing flashes here and there, nothing could prepare me for what actually happened to you. I’m so sorry, Bella.”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing,” I murmured through growing tears, glancing through a blur and my fidgeting fingers. “I know you wish you’d never left. But I told you already… we learned a lot from this. No matter how hard it was, and still is, it was something we needed to face.”

“That doesn’t make it hurt you any less,” Alice whispered, and if she had the ability to shed tears, I knew she would have.

“Or you,” I remarked more solidly, driving the tears back a little. “Everyone has been hurt by this. Not just me. Not just Edward. All of us.”

Sniffing unnecessarily, Alice leaned over to pull me into a tight hug, one I gladly returned. The pain of everything that had affected us – and would continue to do so – felt so much easier to bear when my best friend was there with me. With one arm around me still, Alice put the movie back on to detract from our wayward emotions.

In light of recent events, in a way I felt like I was Aurora. I wasn’t aware of life outside my bubble – Charlie, Renee, and Phil were all I bothered with for so long. Then, completely unexpectedly, I met my Phillip – I met Edward.

Suddenly, I was aware. I fell hard for someone I barely knew. But the time came when I couldn’t be with the person I loved. Like Aurora, I was torn from what I loved and life no longer made sense. Things didn’t matter without that person in my life.

When he did come back, when our family returned, my life came back with them. My full life came back with color and feeling. Things made sense again and I truly woke up from my sleep. A happy ending became possible once more.

And if the characters of _Sleeping Beauty_ had been shown in the weeks following their ordeals and the threat of Maleficent, I imagined they would have fought through grief and pain the same way the Cullens and I were now fighting ours.

Our experiences damage us sometimes, but they heal us too. Phillip and Aurora would be hurting still after they finally were able to be together, but being together in and of itself would give them the strength to heal. That was what Edward and I had to hold on to; it was what the entire Cullen family had to hold on to if they were to ever heal completely.

“We’re going to move past it,” I practically demanded after a few minutes, face set with determination. Startled by my outburst, Alice paused the film again while I talked. “Every one of us can move past this, Alice. I know we can. I know it because we’re strong together.”

“Who could doubt your faith, you stubborn girl?” my best friend half-laughed against my shoulder. “Trust me, I believe you.”

I sniffed one last time, strongly forcing lingering sadness back. “Let’s watch the fight for their happy ending.”

Smiling at my resolute decision, Alice turned around to grab the remote and unpause _Sleeping Beauty_. The three fairies found their way to Prince Phillip in Maleficent’s dungeon, and the battle began.

Seeing Aurora’s later reunion with her mother, I couldn’t help smiling. It reminded me of Esme rushing up to hug as at the airport.

“Well, that was a good one to watch,” Alice sighed, smiling. “Feeling better, Bella?”

“Yeah, actually, I am,” I smiled back. “Only… now I’m hungry again.”

Laughing slightly with surprised understanding, the tiny vampire rose from the sofa and disappeared into the kitchen. From the sound of things, what little I could hear anyway, she’d taken out leftovers from my fettuccine and salad.

Hearing the microwave beeping not long after, I shook my head in amusement. Alice wasn’t kidding about not cooking. Why it didn’t bother me to be cooked for, I couldn’t say, but I felt like Alice needed to be doing something to help. There was little else she could do right then.

Rosalie sat silently at the other end of the sofa, and from the corner of my eye I noticed her stiff posture, a never-ending testament to her cold nature. Yet I couldn’t hold onto my feelings of discomfort around her. Not completely. After realizing how much we all needed each other, no matter how angry or unhappy Rosalie Hale might make me, I had to accept that she was important to all of us just as much as Emmett was. Somehow, I was going to think of how to help Rosalie, too.

“Happy eating,” Alice said in a sing-song voice, appearing beside me and offering up the plate of pasta and salad.

“Thanks, Alice,” I smiled wryly, glad of something that could distract me from the daunting process of healing someone who didn’t seem to want healing. Particularly from me.  
  
Alice would be no help, I knew. Her coldness towards Rosalie earlier left me with a solid impression of distance between the two sisters that I definitely didn’t know how to break. Stuck on my own, as far as I could tell, it was going to take a little thought to work up some plan through which I could get Rosalie to somehow open up to the last person she would ever choose.

“What movie next, do you think?” Alice asked, glancing over the pile of DVDs on the coffee table with keen concentration. I had to wonder if she was trying to ignore Rosalie or if she truly couldn’t fathom what to put in next.

“Well…” I started hesitantly, biting my lip and eyeing Rosalie’s rigid form on the other end of the sofa. “We’ve picked all of them so far… Why don’t you pick one, Rosalie?”

Both vampire sisters stilled to the consistency of chilled marble, as the Cullens always seemed to do when under pressure. Alice no doubt because I’d asked Rosalie to stay as a part of our movie night. And Rosalie… well, probably because I was talking to her at all.

“Why?” was the blonde vampire’s monotone question, and a rather valid one at that.

My courage took a substantial hit by the obvious confusion and surprise on both women’s inhumanly beautiful faces.

“Because you’re watching with us,” I slowly and reluctantly answered, feeling even less confident in my plan as I attempted to explain without coming off as condescending. “It just seems fair that you pick something out.”

Another bout of silence covered the three of us, and Alice apparently had turned to stone for all she involved herself in the situation. It really started to feel like a foolish idea without some support, but I still knew something had to happen and if it didn’t start with Rosalie and Carlisle and Edward, then it would never start at all.

Rosalie eventually seemed to recover her faculties, finally responding to my suggestion with equal hesitance, “What else have you already watched?”

Inhaling with a sense of hope I couldn’t squash, I more confidently replied, “ _Aladdin_ , _Alice In Wonderland_ , _Beauty and the Beast_ , _Cinderella_ , _The Little Mermaid_ , _Mary Poppins_ , and _Snow White_.”

“Princesses, mostly, I suppose?” the blonde decided, no judgment in her tone.

“Yeah, mostly those,” I answered a little more hopefully than intended.

“ _Pocahontas_ would fit that bill,” Rosalie concluded in the same even tone she had adopted since we began the difficult conversation.

“That sounds like a good one to watch,” I agreed with more emphatic of a nod than I wanted to enact, but the idea that Rosalie appeared willing to engage in civil behavior with me was too perfect of an opportunity to let pass. “I always forget she’s a princess.”

In my peripheral vision, I caught Alice nearly opening her mouth to say something, but out of the blue a cell phone started ringing. The smallest Cullen snapped her mouth shut and Rosalie turned to look at the pixielike vampire as she stared at the phone in her hand with a frown. At the rate Alice disappeared after picking up the phone, all I could hear was a very concerned sounding hello.

Rosalie and I both turned at the same time to find matching expressions of bewilderment on each other’s faces.

“What was that about?” I asked, although I knew the answer before I heard it.

“I don’t know,” Rosalie shrugged, a frown taking up residence on her face. “She disappeared before I could hear the voice on the other end.”

“Should we wait for her to come back?” I wondered, biting my lip nervously.

“We both know she didn’t want me here anyway,” Rosalie commented in a strange mixture of dark and wry humor. “Not that you do either. I’m not even sure why you asked, but I know you didn’t want to sit and watch a princess movie with the ice queen of the family.”

Struck mute for a long moment by the blunt honesty, and the complete lack of subterfuge or cruelty in the words, I could only reply, “I meant what I said. You’re here with us. It’s only fair that you pick out something to watch.”

“I already did,” was the slightly sarcastic remark. Raising an eyebrow at the unnecessary rudeness, I was met with a roll of Rosalie’s golden eyes. “I’ll put it in.”

Readjusting my seat on the sofa to something… well, if not more comfortable, then at least less prone to catching Rosalie Hale’s cool eye… I wondered how long it would take for us to be at each other’s throats. Or perhaps the better words were that Rosalie would be at my throat. Either way, I knew watching a movie with the – as Rosalie put it – ‘ice queen of the family’ was not going to be a pleasant or comfortable experience. At least before, I had Alice as some kind of buffer.

But Alice never came back. Rosalie and I watched the entirety of _Pocahontas_ without ever speaking, and without ever seeing Alice’s return. At the end of the film, another awkward silence ensued, until finally I couldn’t take the discomfort anymore.

“Do you want to put in another one?” I suggested with all tentativeness.

There was no reason why either of us were really there together, watching Disney movies. We weren’t sharing anything, we weren’t talking, and we certainly weren’t enjoying the film for its own sake. Nevertheless, this was my only real opportunity to build some kind of groundwork between Rosalie and me. Other than sitting together in the same room without Rosalie glaring at me, I didn’t know how else to do that.

“I suppose so,” Rosalie shrugged, strands of curling blond hair falling off her shoulder. “You pick. It doesn’t matter which one.”

Hiding a wince at the obvious lack of care, I plucked up what little courage I had left and picked up _Mulan_ from the unwatched row of DVDs. It wasn’t a princess movie, but it was the closest thing to it from the remaining films. Rosalie seemed the type to like that line of movies, so I just went with it.

A quarter of the way through the film, Rosalie already appeared more agitated than engrossed. At least during _Pocahontas_ she hadn’t fidgeted and sighed so often. Fidgeting myself, I almost suggested we stop engaging in a lost cause, but Emmett came to mind for no reason at all and I found the task impossible. That sagging teddy bear from two days earlier wasn’t the big burly vampire I remembered. He deserved to have someone try and fix the situation; someone needed to help Rosalie if they were ever to help Emmett.

Freshly resolved to make the best of it, rather than shrink away as I had done in month past, I tried a new tactic.

“This isn’t really your kind of movie, is it?”

Starting only slightly at my sudden attempt at conversation, the statuesque vampire paused a long moment, then finally turned just barely to acknowledge my inquiry, “Not especially.”

I let the air stagnate for another minute, keeping my strength up to continue in the seemingly insurmountable task I had set for myself.

Taking another breath, I eventually asked, “What kind do you normally like to watch?”

More than slightly awkward, the ensuing pause became downright uncomfortable; it was so quiet I could hear the clock ticking on the wall.

Rosalie appeared to battle with herself, as if it was some deadly snake I had presented her with, but at last she responded in an even tone, “Carole Lombard… You may not know who she is—”

“The blonde actress from the thirties… right?” I countered with, having more than decent knowledge of old films.

Renée had been absolutely enraptured by the romantic thralls of old black and white films, and vicariously I gained a certain appreciation for them myself. Not that I was an aficionado for old movies, but I knew enough to hold a conversation as I did with Rosalie.

“That would be correct,” the blonde agreed in surprise, although she didn’t let it show on her face. Her posture, however, spoke volumes; in the space of a minute her shoulders relaxed ever so slightly.

No more conversation passed between the two of us, but Rosalie seemed a little less tense after our brief exchange of words and Mulan felt somehow more interesting and agreeable of a mutual pastime to engage in.

Given such a long parade of films to watch, however, took its toll on my human body. The stress of the past months – particularly the past week or so – had definitely caught up to me, and after sitting on a sofa all day staring at a TV with sweets in hand, I felt exhaustion kicking in at last.

Sighing as the credits finally rolled, I had to make myself stand up from the sofa.

“Um… thanks… for watching with me,” I told Rosalie hesitantly, uncertain if that was the proper sentiment.

“You’re welcome,” Rosalie replied awkwardly.

“I think I need to get to bed now,” I informed her unnecessarily. “Uh… good night.”

Approximating something more like a grunt than a word, Rosalie nodded once and I heaved myself upstairs. Alice couldn’t be that far away, or Rosalie would never have just let me walk up to bed without getting someone else to watch over me instead. That meant Alice was near enough to watch over me herself, which was actually a comforting thought to have as I headed up the staircase to Edward’s room.

Groaning at the aches from sitting crunched up so long, I stretched as a yawn came over me and gave up changing into pajamas for the night. Sleep called more strongly than anything else.

Before I fully settled on the pillow, I was out like a light, with thoughts of _Mulan_ , and Carole Lombard, and _Sleeping_ _Beauty_ roaming through my dreaming mind.

* * *

 


End file.
